What is your comfort zone?
• Crossdressing at home in secret
• Crossdressing at home and socializing with some or all of the residents of your home
• Going out among the civilians crossdressed as a Halloween “costume”
• Crossdressing at a support group meeting location
• Crossdressing at home and driving crossdressed to a support group meeting
• Going out among the civilians crossdressed under the auspices of a support group or organization for a short period of time (visiting a restaurant, wig store, beauty salon, etc.)
• Going out among the civilians crossdressed under the auspices of a support group or organization for an extended period of time (long weekend conventions, week-long Fantasia Fair, etc.)
• Going out solo among civilians to do outreach
• Going out solo among civilians to “safe” locations (gay bars, Pride events, etc.)
• Going out solo among civilians anywhere and everywhere
Except for crossdressing at a support group meeting location (I always crossdressed at home and drove to meetings), that list represents my progress as I stepped outside my comfort zone. I imagine many of you have followed a similar stepping out path.
I also imagine that some of you are comfortably crossdressing somewhere on that path and have no plans to step outside that comfort zone. You may have legitimate reasons for staying put (family, work, etc.), but if fear is the only reason you stay put, then let me quote Franklin D. Roosevelt, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
I was stuck for a very long time because I had fears about going out crossdressed among the civilians – the same fears that many of you have. Time is what finally motivated me to step out of my comfort zone. I knew that life is short and I had already wasted a lot of my life living in fear. Did I want to die without trying to. face and overcome my fears?
No, I did not. So I stepped outside my comfort zone and discovered that FDR was right. And I kicked myself for letting fear hold me back for so long. Regretting those lost 20- and 30-something years when I was a hot, but closeted chick (LOL)! At least I got out in time as an old lady!
So I urge you to reconsider facing your fears and more fully enjoying your life as the woman you are.
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| Wearing Elly Bazar |
"The only thing to fear is fear itself" is the perfect answer.
ReplyDeleteI have dressed pretty for work every day since November 2022. I'm happy, comfortable and confident. I am known by my given name (NOT Heather) and I use it proudly. I had a great encounter with a young person last week. I don't know if they were born a boy or girl and their presentation was ambiguously female. Their mom had questions about our services and I helped her with her issue. At the end of our conversation she thanked me profusely and asked my name. I replied with my given name and the young person smiled and their eyes got real big. I feel I did my very good deed for the day. The most important take away for me is that I live in a very conservative town. My next door neighbor has a political sign for the leading GOP candidate in their front yard.
Am I read sometimes, yes.
Am I indirectly disrespected sometimes, yes. (People saying things "out of earshot" that I'm not supposed to hear.) But most people are okay and some really go out of their way to make my day!
Heather
When in my 20s and 30s, I seemed to have no fear at all. I went out frequently and probably was clocked. No internet then, without the help and information to ;perfect my presentation. I remember going to a hotel in other towns, getting ready, then venturing out to malls, anyplace that I could be seen, sometime even to restaurants. Now that I'm much older, and married to a woman who does not approve of my crossdressing, I have to limit myself to dressing at home while she is away at work. I'm mostly have the house to my self for a few hours. Oh how I wish, I could go out again, but for fear.
ReplyDeleteAs a MAN I go out in public en femme (dresses, etc) the great majority of the time. That includes church, shopping, and doctor appointments. I have gotten virtually no pushback for my attire. It does help that I have long hair and a bust.
ReplyDeleteJohn
My comfort zone is dressing a la June Cleaver in private. My wife is not a fan of my need to wear women's clothing. Before she retired I had the guarantee of seven hours alone to do domestic chores en femme. When our daughter lived in the mid-west for several years my wife visited her for seven to ten days annually. That gave me 24/7 time and the opportunity to venture out for an evening drive and stroll. For medical reasons my wife and I sleep apart. I do not know for sure whether she knows I sleep in a nightie every night with a bra and panty and maybe a full slip. Decades ago she gave me the green light to join a support group. I looked, but there was none to be had in the 1980's in my area.
ReplyDeleteMy experience has come full circle. From a locked closet to eventually getting dolled up and going anywhere, even to attending "The Working Woman's Survival Show", a woman's convention, regularly in the '90's......... to today being a widower in my 70's and living far from the city; I dress at home regularly, sans face and hair. Getting out in public is not the thrill it used to be. Why? Who knows? My guess is that my presentation (yes looks) have taken a dive, and the fact that crossdressing it seems has gone mainstream reduces the adrenaline rush that existed when it was so avant-garde decades ago.
ReplyDeleteAngel Amore
Bullet 2 of 11.
ReplyDeleteHi Stana, funny you should post this note about pushing boundaries. Last night, I went were Leann has never gone before. i wanted to go our since it was the first chance in quite some time. When my first choice was not available, I found this comedy show that looked OK. So I ordered my ticket on line and then saw that it included dinner at a wedding venue on the CT coast. OK I thought this could be interesting since I would probably be forced to really mix with civilians. When I got there, they had apparently pre-assigned tables prior to my buying my ticket. So I was stuck on a corner table all by myself. I thought it was Divine intervention to prevent a bad scene.
ReplyDeleteWell, after dinner was done, the table next to me invited me to join them. The table had 6 women - 3 my age (2 of which were twins), 2 middle age and one younger (a daughter of one of the older women) - and the husband of one of the twins. One of the twins moved an empty chair to between her and her sister. OK, I thought this could be interesting!
It was delightful. They didn't flinch when I spoke to them. We laughed and discussed some of the jokes - some of which would have a different vibe if you were male or female. The comics were Italian which was the theme of the comedy. So everyone else at the table were Italian. We spoke of our interactions with the "organization", being Catholic and going to Catholic school including the jumpers the girls had as uniforms.
in the end, we said our goodbyes after a fun evening. I don't think I was read at all unless the 30 something daughter did and kept her mouth shut. I wish I could have been a fly in their car on the way home but it doesn't matter because Leann got to go and enjoy herself!