I love a Gil Elvgren pinup. He was a famous illustrator who depicted women at their most feminine and attractive moments. Hair, makeup, outfits and figures were all depicted so well and idolized by many. Elvgren’s were, in my opinion, at their best in the 50’s, a golden age in so many ways. I have lived vicariously through his images for many years.
If you too are a fan, you may have also seen photos of Elvgren with his model(s), posed for the fictional setting he was to create. Those models were attractive as well.
The modern woman I emulate as Tami, has much more in common with the woman of the 50’s or 60’s than the 2020’s. Not that I have a 1950’s vintage wardrobe! I appreciate the woman who makes an effort to do her hair, wear appropriate makeup and dress to make a nice impression with her weight in control. Pride! Any of us walking through a mall or airport today can see that too many women are not trying and seem to have given up.
We have to dress to blend in, but if that means wearing ripped open jeans down the front of my legs, count me out. If it means showing a muffin top, wearing overly tight and revealing Lulu Lemons, forget it. I have standards. I prefer being one of the better dressed women in the room, concerned about first impressions and showing respect for myself and my friends.
My female friends and I have talked about this often and they agree that standards have fallen far. High value men and/or friends are not attracted to women who neglect setting standards for themselves and others. I prefer to be seen as high value. If women don’t hold themselves to a high standard, they won’t hold others to one either. One reaps what one sows. Having standards in my experience, has much to do with passing easily as well.
This image above has always been one of my favorites. What a great image illustrating joy and fun. And in case you just have to have a vintage dress, stop by Fashion by Robert Black in Scottsdale. It is the most amazing vintage clothing store. I bought one super cute dress from the 60's!
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| Wearing Boston Proper |
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| Bryce Anderson, male womenswear model |
Thank you for these inspiring words, Tami. I quoted you on my FB page.
ReplyDeleteVery flattering! thanks Julie. Tami
Delete"...can see that too many women are not trying and seem to have given up."
ReplyDeleteHmm. I think I may politely and kindly disagree.
Firstly, and chiefly, who's body is it? If a woman wishes to wear jeans & a t-shirt, because that's more her: that's her choice. Equally, if they're a more heels and dress person; punk alternative; or prefer andro or masc clothing, that's absolutely up to them.
Secondly, we don't know what's going on in a person's life. Do they have health issues - physical or mental? Are they tired out from work or stuff at home? Is it safe for them to lean towards a more femme look, or is it safer to dress down because of unwanted attention? Are they in more practical clothes because of their needs: travel, job, caring, etc?
I feel they're are some styles or fashions we don't like, and that's okay. I think we should try to be kind and not judge.... unless it's socks & sandals 😉
Lynn, yes you are correct, but physical and mental issues are a small percent of the population. Yes, choice is choice. However, travel to Europe, and see how they dress, and you will understand why many Europeans think we are slobs. It never used to be this way. Americans had better standards of respect for themselves and others in past decades. It showed.
DeleteI can't really comment on American dress as I live in the UK 🇬🇧 Apologies for any confusion! 🙂
DeleteI've had the good fortune to visit a few different countries (a few bits of the US, some of Europe, North Africa, etc) over the years and I think the one thing I can say, is that we all influence each other.
On the rare holidays to the States, yes, there's a different approach to style, but I wouldn't say it's any better or worse. Clearly money pays a big part in choices.
As a trans something or other person, I do find it fascinating to people watch and compare both the differences and similarities.
Love the playful touches of colors, red and pink. Ugly dog contrast with beautiful woman. She makes the dog look cute.
ReplyDeleteI am in Tami's corner when it comes to me expressing myself as a woman. I usually describe my preference as the June Cleaver look. If you find me at home doing domestic chores (cooking, baking, laundry & ironing, vacuuming, etc) it is in a dress and heels. I do not own a pair of women's pants. That is not my style. For others who want to wear jeans, etc, that's find for them as long as they are well groomed. That goes for men too. I worked in a government office for over thirty years. My original boss had a dress code (1970's) requiring business attire; men in dress shirts/ties/slacks as a minimum and suit or sports coat outside the office on business appointments; women in dresses or skirts/blouses. Later, under a less caring boss there was no dress code. I still wore my business attire. The women, every last one of them, went to jeans and athletic shoes. It was not unusual for cpa's, attorneys. business men and women to automatically gravitate to me as the representative of the government because of my attire and because the lower manager I reported to was too casually dress; like capri pants, loose floral top and sandals. When a professional woman greets an attorney in a sweat suit she does not command the authority that has been conferred upon her. My young adult granddaughter has enough sense to dress for the occasion so sometimes I get to rib her about the deconstructed jeans. There is always an exception to the rule; then I agree with Lynn. But otherwise, I think the rules have been rewritten for both men and women and they are not flattering.
ReplyDeleteBravo, Tami! Agree that standards have fallen greatly. I'll never understand the ripped jeans thing. Yeah that was a thing in the 80's and I guess fine as a teenager. But as a 30 or 40 or yikes 50 something? No thanks.
ReplyDeleteThese days you'll more likely see a woman in umbros and flip flops than a smart skirt and blouse or sweater set. Really a shame. I'll tell you though, I sure as hell am not gonna dress like a slob to blend in.
-Christina
agree 100% with Tami. and Lynn's argument could well apply to a small number of women but in no way should that give a pass to the great majority. However-most women shine compared to the great majority of men who have become total slobs-baseball caps and all. I see many instances of young women at least trying while their dates are in the slob category and I wonder if they have no respect for their dates--emily
ReplyDeleteWomen will reap what they sow! I have Never seen a beautiful put together woman with a slob at her side. Tami
DeleteAs a man, I'm sick and tired of seeing so many people wearing pants (trousers) and in general dressing in a slovenly manner.
ReplyDeleteSo that's the reason why I wear dresses almost all the time except for cold weather (which doesn't happen often in the DFW, Texas area) and the relatively rare occasions of wearing a men's coat and tie outfit.
And for formal occasions such as church I also add heels, hosiery, makeup and and painted nails, except when I am wearing a man's coat and tie outfit.
But I will remedy the issue of having to wear trousers with a coat and tie outfit: I will make a long skirt with the usual fly and zipper that men's trousers have, along with belt loops.
John
Personally, I think posts like these are incredibly sexist. I'm with you, Lynn (and by the way, enjoy reading your blog each week).
ReplyDeleteFor the first twenty or so years of my work career the standard was suits and ties. In 1998, because of Y2K and the difficulty of hiring IT guys, who didn't want to wear suits and ties, our company went to casual. I don't remember ANYONE complaining about not having to wear a suit. Of course, I then moved to Australia (my wife is Australian) and the standard there was suits and ties, so back to suits and ties.
So if you wear a suit and tie everyday you have a right to complain about how women dress. If not, understand that you are being extremely sexist in saying that women should dress to a certain standard.
Dee
Dee, the post I wrote doesn't define a standard, but it intends to give perspective on how things (in this case appearances), change, and can in fact decline. It is about showing a bit of pride in one's presentation, and respect for yourself and those you associate with. We tend to attract those that relate to us, so whom would we prefer to be associated with you? Friendships, relationships are aspirational. Does one see life as a learning progression with regular improvement, or a race to the bottom? Clothing and appearances do matter in all aspects of our day.
DeleteI made a comment above concerning how women (and men) ended up attired in my former professional office. My point is a dress code is not so much for those in the office, fellow co-workers. It's to project a degree of professionalism to clients. If you work in the bowels of a basement, who really cares. If I go to a gardening shop I expect a woman or man to be dressed in jeans and flannel shirt; not a dress and heels. If I am a CPA or attorney and go to a government office for an audit I do not expect to see capri pants and sandals. When I wore a suit I commanded more authority than if I wore less professional attire.
DeleteThe last weekend in October I attended a three day LGBTQ+ Christian conference. The first day I may have been the only woman in a dress. The last day I was not the only woman in a dress. I also received more than a few compliments on my outfits and shoes. The final activity on Saturday night at a restaurant, I wore a casual dress and tennis shoes. After three days in heels, my feet needed a break.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
I agree with Tammy, and that standards have fallen as far as fashion and the way men and women present themselves however one thing, transgender women, particularly here at Femulate is the fact that we dress up and present glamorous as women on a temporary basis. It’s not every day, having to present at a high glamorous, feminine level
ReplyDeleteFor me it’s a couple times a month I plan days ahead of time. Enjoy the ritual make up hair, shaving getting dressed. It’s also wonderful I don’t have to get up at 5:30. Get the kids breakfast and then catch a train into the office, wearing heels and a dress so I think that Has to be taken into consideration, let’s face it. Our culture has changed in women have a different role in our society
Paula G
You know, you do not have to wear dress/hose/heels to be well dressed. See Deborah Boland's blog on FabulousAfter40.com
ReplyDeleteBrovo ! Tami
ReplyDeleteCrossdressers wear what turns them on. That’s usually not jeans and tennis shoes. I bet there weren’t any crossdressing cavemen because it’s all about the clothes.
ReplyDeleteFred and Barney en femme
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