Hello again
In today’s Stuff, I’d like to talk about social graces. Especially when presenting as a woman. Yes, the world is different for women and they practice different social graces when they deal with real life.
Social Graces?
Here I’m talking about how you relate to others when you are en femme. As a guy, you’ve adopted certain mannerisms. The way you carry yourself. The way you walk. The way you interact with others.
Greeting one another
Here’s an example: imagine you are out in public as a guy and you are introduced to another guy. What do you do? You step up, look him in the eye and extend a hand for a firm handshake.
You’ll likely also comment about something like a favorite sports team or vehicle – something “manly.” If you (again as a guy) are introduced to a woman the routine is similar, but the handshake will be a bit softer and the conversation would probably be about something like the weather or the locale.
Now let's think about what typically happens when two women meet. Assuming they already know each other, there will likely be a gentle hug and a compliment on some aspect of her presentation. Similarly, if they haven’t met before the hug might be replaced with a nod or a gentle handshake. And there will most likely still be a compliment. Compliments about the clothing, hair, jewelry... stuff like that.
When we crossdressers are out en femme it’s time to put aside our guy social graces and adopt those more typical of women. When you meet a sister, you might consider complimenting her about the color of her dress or the way her hair looks. Perhaps the earrings she is wearing. It’s one of those little niceties.
Hugging
Hugs are good. Have you ever notice that when hugging women are very careful not to send the wrong signal. They will typically bend forward slightly at the waist so that their breasts don’t contact the one they are hugging. And it’s a brief hug. That’s another type of social grace we need to consider when presenting as a woman.
I’ll be back
I hope you will think about your social graces when going out. Do some research by observing how people interact in various social circumstances. In the meantime, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.
JJ is always looking for more stuff!
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| Wearing Boston Proper |
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| Andrew Semuel |
Astute as always JJ (hugs)
ReplyDeleteJJ here. Thanks so much for the kind words!
DeleteHi JJ! As a stay-at-home CD, the different greeting styles isn't something I had previously given much thought to, since it isn't something I need to do in real life. Reading yet another wonderful Stuff article, I am reminded how much I dread the typical manly greetings...and resultant conversations...of shallow manly things (sports and the like) and would so much prefer the warmer, personal conversations typical of women.
ReplyDeleteJJ here. Even before I actually ventured out in public, I had observed the differences for many years. I find it interesting how men and women co-exist in the same world but really it's different for each.
DeleteI forgot to add...I cannot read this article without singing "Friends in Low Places" haha
ReplyDeleteHello JJ,
ReplyDeleteHow is it that you have become an expert at how we should present as a woman when out dressed in public? By your own admission your first time out of the house was in the past year. Been out and about for over 40 years dealing with the public doing it wrong all the time I guess!
Sincerely,
Micki Finn
JJ here. Yes, I have only been out dressed in public in the past year or so. That doesn't negate my observations of interactions between people no matter how I'm then dressed though.
DeleteAppreciate you taking the time to read my blog posts and would be happy to hear your experiences.
Yes, I notice a difference in mannerisms between men and women. On Sunday mornings I typically get dolled up in a dress, heels, hosiery, painted fingernails, and makeup as the alternative to a man's coat and tie outfit (which I occasionally wear).
ReplyDeleteI have hair below my shoulder, a noticeable bust, and no beard shadow so I have the appearance of a genetic woman. I still exhibit the behavior of a man when I'm interacting with other men. However due to my attire women feel free to hug me and to compliment my presentation.
John
JJ here. A very interesting observation indeed! Thanks so much for sharing it.
DeleteAnd something I would add: I sing second bass in my church choir so my voice sounds really doesn't sound feminine at all. Nobody seems to react to my feminine appearance contrasted with my deep masculine voice.
DeleteJohn
I am sure JJ means well but her cross dressing advice is like getting sleuthing tips from a Hardy Boys novel.
ReplyDeleteNavigating the journey of being transgender is a profound and highly individual experience, characterized by diverse perspectives and unique life stories. Within the nurturing environment of Femulate, a community hub of sorts, we find solace in coming together to extend support, acknowledging the myriad paths we traverse. Here, some among us might grapple with the daunting prospect of venturing beyond the confines of their homes, while others courageously embrace a full-time existence as women.
DeleteWithin the transgender community, particularly on social media platforms, there often exists a prevailing aura of political correctness, one that regrettably taints the atmosphere with negativity and hostility. This atmosphere can, at times, cast judgment and seek to dominate those whose experiences do not perfectly align with the prevailing narrative.
Nevertheless, amidst our diversity, there is a fundamental truth that unites us all, and that is the intrinsic need for kindness. Kindness is the unifying thread that binds us, transcending our differences and bridging our gaps. As we partake in the camaraderie offered by the community center that is Femulate, let us carry this essential virtue with us as a lasting legacy. For in the end, beyond the confines of this digital haven, it is kindness that truly matters. Thus, let us collectively and consciously cultivate a culture of compassion, so that when we eventually depart from this shared space, the legacy of our interactions will be one of enduring goodwill and support.
Paul G
There's one thing with the transgender business that rubs me the wrong way is the fear of misgendering a person. I happen to prefer masculine pronouns and to be addressed as "Sir". But if someone uses feminine pronouns and addresses me as "Ma'am" it's nothing for me to get upset about. Just don't call me "Maggot" or some other derogatory term.
DeleteJohn
Hi Paula, thank you for your lovely response. Kindness. Always choose kindness❤️
DeleteStana , that's a very attractive picture of you in the white shorts and 3" comfy wedge heels that you posted . It's classy you always present as a real attractive lady and not showing off underwear.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the very kind words!
Deleteafter the lady hugs it takes little time before women launch in to a personal discussion and I mean personal, something men would never do. the 1st few times felt uncomfortable but soon joined in the "sharing"
ReplyDeleteIt would be so wonderful if more men were not afraid to express their (softer) feelings and leaned into discussing personal topics.
DeleteAn issue that arises when a cross dresser or transwoman is out and about is whether or not the person you're interacting with is actually going to extend his or her hand. There are still too many men who seem to believe shaking a gay man's hand will have his "gayness" rub off on him.
ReplyDeleteA cross dresser is NOT necessarily homosexual. That person is no more likely to be homosexual than the general male population. And I am definitely a heterosexual man.
DeleteJohn
Samuels make up particularly his lips and eyes are stunningly beautiful. I’m just so jealous that I can never make my face so pretty.
ReplyDelete