By Paula Gaikowski
Here’s a paragraph from one my first articles on Femulate, “Frequent Flier.”
“I let the warm water of the shower melt away any uncertainty. The feminine scent of the shaving cream and the unveiled smoothness of my legs quiet me. I feel her take hold inside me. I dry myself off, then spray on some perfume, I breath the fragrance in, the scent is satisfying, almost like a drug. I feel it trigger certain parts of my brain as if they were dormant, but now are called to life, they burst forward igniting senses and desires no longer forced hidden.”
Gender euphoria is the emotional state of happiness and comfort that happens when our gender expression is aligned with our identity. I identify as a woman, ever since I can remember. My path in life has always been clouded with this conundrum.
One of those metaphorical clouds has been the overpowering need to crossdress and along with it, joy and sensual pleasure. Yes, shaving my legs, wearing perfume, makeup, pantyhose and lingerie made me feel pretty, feminine and even sexy. The gatekeepers of the 80’s and 90’s held that this was proof of a fetish; I was made to feel that this deeply held feelings was nothing more than a kink or worse a perversion. Transgender women seeking transition learned to deny and hide these feelings.
I’ve always believed that cisgender women also find pleasure in feeling feminine and pretty. I went to a sub on Reditt named askwomen. All I did was search the sub for “feeling pretty,”“feeling feminine” and “feeling sexy.”
The results were eye-opening. Essentially cisgender women have very much the same emotional response that we do when it comes to wearing lingerie, shaving, wearing make-up and perfume. It brings them joy, they feel pretty, feminine, girly and sexy. I’ve included a sample of responses from scores of women. I feel vindicated and validated that my needs and desires are very much like any other woman.
“Matching underwear. Sometimes putting on a cute bra and matching panties makes me feel like a million bucks.”
“I think I often feel super pretty after I’ve taken a long shower (washed my hair, shaved legs and put on my favorite lipstick.”
“I personally get anxiety attacks after shower because of how ugly I look with wet hair. I look like a man”
“I love to dress up and do my make up together with my friends”
“Playing dress-up is great too, I like to put on my clothes and try to make new outfits. Sometimes I'll dress up nice and just go to the grocery store, although you have to be careful with that otherwise you feel kind of overdressed and self-conscious.”
“I like to dress in a very feminine style with dresses, makeup, and high heels. Ever since the start of the pandemic still I like to put on makeup and dress nicely just so I can feel pretty about myself even if I spend the entire day stuck in my house.”
“I wear my fav lace lingerie under my regular clothes..idk why but lingerie always improves my low self esteem. It’s the best feeling honestly.”
“I do this too (Wear lace lingerie), because then at the end of the day when I get undressed it’s like “Ah, there’s the real me!”
“Have my nails/toenails painted all the time”
“To feel pretty and feminine the, first one is definitely wearing heels. I also love to curl my hair, wear a sexy but comfy dress. lipstick is also really important to me”
“Shower, shave, moisturize, cute outfit (ideally a colorful dress and tights), well-blended glamorous eyeshadow, winged eyeliner, bold lipstick, lovely perfume, go out and smile at passersby.”
“Matching underwear. Never underestimate how sexy and beautiful you'll feel when you have a cute bra on and panties that match. I only buy bras that are a part of a matching set and have another few pairs of panties that match/go with that bra.”
“When I feel down and not so pretty, I'll take hours to get ready. Take a long bath, shave, put on nice underwear and some of my favorite clothes, curl my hair or do an elaborate up-do, and then do my make up.”
Wearing Venus |
Modern Male and Female |
When the opportunity arises, I tell people "gender dysphoria" is the wrong term, and "gender euphoria" is correct. It's like crossdressing... getting girly makes me the opposite of "cross".
ReplyDeletevery AMAZING .STUNNING .PHOTO .REAL YOU..A LADY.MARK.X
ReplyDeleteWhat a perspicatious comment. Glad you've established that we all humans enjoy lovely things, not just us "tranniea". So sad they, the real "wumen" don't share so much what we do
ReplyDeletePaula, thank you for this post. I just can't deny the gender euphoria. When I am dressed versus when I am not and when I am not I feel a dull itch/hum in me. Then I dress again and that dull itch/hum is gone and everything is right. It just is hard to deny this. This became more apparent to me when I "came out to myself" and stopped the denials.
ReplyDelete-Christina
Bravo!! So true! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I have ever seen a more beautiful girl. She is stunning!
ReplyDeleteI think this song 'I feel pretty' from West Side Story sums the feeling up perfectly
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiF1ituOTNU
Pamela
Pamela
ReplyDeleteRita Moreno says it well, (sigh)
I like this one too
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8JigBfoDtzY
I was a late-comer to femulating. As an adolescent, I knew I was wired differently than my male friends. Unlike so many of my "sisters," I never cross-dressed, experimented with makeup, or so forth until I finally confronted the long-suppressed need in my late 40s. After concluding in college that this was a "don't go there" issue, I had long just ignored it and focused on education, career, and my marriage.
ReplyDeleteFinally, in my early 50s, I decided that I had far fewer years left than I had already spent on this earth, and that I needed to address the matter and either embrace it or finally to discard it as just meaningless kink or a mere whim.
Frankly, I half expected to have some sort of sexual reaction to the experience. Instead, I saw my image in the mirror and was overwhelmed not with a rush of testosterone but with endorphins. I saw the very best, most fully realized version of myself in the mirror: the person I always knew was there on the inside. It was if my entire body and brain let out a big sigh of relief and gratitude. It truly was life-changing.
My only regret is that I waited so long to experience my own gender euphoria.
Now, I have Rachel-days whenever I can fit it into my schedule. (Some things are just easier in boy-mode).