The Bug

Wearing Fashion Bug

Some of my favorite moments are when I am clothes shopping. And one of my favorite place to shop was the dearly departed Fashion Bug. 

My wife loved Fashion Bug and I usually tagged along in husband mode when she shopped. Feigning boredom, I would peruse the racks and if I found anything to my liking, I would ask my wife to add it to her pile and I would try it on when we got home. Nice thing about Fashion Bug was that their sizes were consistent, so if I found something in my size, I was sure that it would fit when I tried it on at home.

Eventually, I stopped feigning boredom and perused the racks as if I belonged and had my own pile to take to the cashier. 

I never shopped en femme in Fashion Bug with my wife so as not to embarrass her, but going by my shopping history, the sales reps may have known better. One time, shopping with my wife, she found something to buy and at the check-out, the sale rep asked my wife if she would like to sign-up to be a model for an in-store fashion show. As an incentive, you got to keep one of the outfits you modeled.

I encouraged my wife, but she didn’t want to do it. With a straight face, I asked if I could sign-up instead and with a straight face, the sales rep said I could. I was joking and told the sales rep so, but later I regretted it and should have signed up.

As time passed by, I became bolder and started trying on my finds in out-of-town stores in boy mode and usually, the sales reps were agreeable. But one time, while shopping in an out-of-town Fashion Bug, I asked the sales rep if I could try on a dress I found. 

She became flustered, hesitated, and then asked me if I wanted to try it on in the ladies’ dressing room – as if I had a choice – Fashion Bug only had ladies’ dressing rooms. I affirmed that I wanted to try it on, so the sales rep relented, checked the dressing rooms to make sure no other women were using them and when she was sure it was all clear, she let me in. 

On subsequent visits to that store in boy mode, the sales rep was very accommodating and always asked me if I needed a dressing room. I assumed that my earlier purchase proved to her that I was a paying customer and not a weirdo.

When I finally visited that store en femme, the sales rep was clueless. I spent about a half hour browsing through the store. I really wasn’t looking for anything in particular, but I did find some clip-on earrings that I liked and purchased.

At check-out, I used my Fashion Bug credit card and the sales rep asked for additional identification. I figured that when I handed her my driver’s license the jig would be up.

I handed her my driver’s license. She looked at it, then asked, “Is this your husband?”

“No, that's me,” I replied.

She finally realized reality and burst out, “Oh my, God, you look fantastic!”

“Thank-you,” I said.

As she was checking me out, she added, “You know, we have other male customers who dress as women and I spot them right away, but I never would have guessed you were a guy! You not only look like a woman – you move like a woman, you talk like a woman, you act like a woman – you’re all-woman!”

With that, my high heels never touched the ground as I walked on air out of the store and drove home. 

I miss Fashion Bug!

Wearing Venus

Male modeling the Denis Gagnon Fall Collection