Cyrsti’s blog post yesterday on bathroom etiquette inspired me to rerun the following updated post today.
Under such a policy, I feel completely safe using the ladies’ rooms in Connecticut. I don’t give it a second thought.
Actually, I use the ladies’ room wherever I find myself ― New York, Ohio, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, West Virginia ― in locales that do not have Connecticut’s diverse restroom policy. There is no way I am going to enter the men’s room in those states dressed to the nines in a skirt and heels! So I take a deep breath, gird my loins and use the ladies’ room.
The average civilian does not examine every person they encounter to try to determine if they are trans or not. Unless the transperson presents in a way that alerts a civilian that something is amiss (or not a Miss), the transperson will blend into the background of the civilian’s daily routine.
The same thing occurs when a civilian uses a restroom. They assume that all the ladies in the ladies’ room are cisgender females. In fact, a non-cisgender female in the ladies’ room is so foreign to civilians that it takes some doing to make them think otherwise. So if they see a tall woman in the ladies' room, they are likely to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Some girls recommend getting in and out of the ladies’ room as fast as possible, but in my opinion, a woman using the ladies’ room in a hurried and perhaps furtive manner may raise a few eyebrows. When I use the ladies’ room, I always put my best high-heeled foot forward. I walk into the ladies’ room as if I belong, do my business, wash my hands, primp in the mirror and exit when I am done. All the while, I try not to bring attention to myself by acting inappropriately.
For what it’s worth, all my visits to the ladies’s rooms have never raised an eyebrow – no one has ever complained that there is a lady with a willy using the facilities. On the contrary, my appearance in the ladies’ room occasionally attracts attention in a positive way when another women compliments me on my appearance or asks me where I bought my shoes or whatever and I find myself engaging in a conversation with a lady in the ladies’ room. How affirming is that?
Actually, I dread using the ladies’ room for its intended purpose. Usually, the stalls are too tight for an Amazonian like me and it is difficult to get half undressed in that confined space, which is essentially what you have to do in order to do what you have to do; raise your dress or lower your slacks, lower your pantyhose, lower your panties and if you are wearing a girdle, you have to deal with that, too.
After you do your business and wipe yourself, you have to get dressed in that confined space. That’s why I closely check myself out in the mirror after exiting the stall to make sure everything is where it is supposed to be.
And while you are in the stall, don’t put your bag on the floor ― yuck! Hang it on the hook that is usually mounted on the inside of the stall door.
And most importantly, remember to sit to pee!
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| Wearing Gracia |
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| Niharika Nerurkar, femulating in India |
I use the solitary WC when possible but the times I use the communal I quite often get an encouraging word or smile from some kind soul.
ReplyDeleteMy first visit to the Ladies Room was also my first outing with 2 girl friends (cis gals). We were at a casino having a wonderful time, and were about to move on to the next stop when Sarah said she needed to use the Ladies Room, Being women, Linda agreed and I stood there for a brief moment considering my options. I had NEVER entered a public Ladies Room before, and was imagining all the worst reactions. Sarah saw the look in my eye, grabbed me by the arm and started toward that Hallowed Sanctorum. We were walking in before I knew what was going on. No one died, no one called the police, no one screamed "It's A Man!" So now, when the urge hits, I waltz right in full of confidence that THIS is where I belong.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the mention as well as the well thought out informative post!
ReplyDeleteMy first visit to a ladies room was my first night out with the Baltimore TG/CD group. Granted, we outnumbered the women in the bar that night! But the deed was done. All of us conducted ourselves like women. That was my model for future visits to "the room". Like Stana writes and I've said about trying on women's clothes in stores -- go for it like you belong there -- like you own the place, so to speak. Be quick and efficient, don't dwaddle.
ReplyDeleteSince going out over the past years has been sparse, my occasions to visit "the room" have been few and far between. The last time worth mentioning was when a friend and I went to see The Trocaderos last winter. We waited in line after the show and I went in when my turn came up. I've written many times about how I don't pass, but I do my very best to look and act femme. Right off, I was complimented. One woman wanted to know where I got my dress (Venus) and another was very impressed with my hairdo (and my not wearing a wig) and we chatted about how my stylist was a "Bawlamer Big Hair" girl, and we laughed about it. After I finished "my business" I felt comfortable enough to renew my lipstick and head out. But not before a woman asked me about where I bought my large shoes. She was asking "for a friend". Her husband/partner, maybe??
Absolutely right my dear. Part of being an ambassador for the sisterhood is to carry one's self with dignity. I never slink around. I'm always very up-front about what I'm doing and for whom I am shopping, even if I'm in boy-mode while doing so.
DeleteThe same is good advice for the male version of me:
Q: how to wear a hat? (A skill most men have lost)
A: With confidence
Sitting when you pee is part of being female, all your clothes are designed and made for people who have to sit
ReplyDeleteSitting comes as second nature to me when dressed
Standing is not easy when wearing a full skirt and slip
Lucy
You have that right about standing, Lucy -- unless you happen to have three hands! Ha!
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