There’s a scenic road here in New England that I take frequent walks on. It has views of the White Mountains, bucolic fields and stone walls. It’s a popular route and I often meet up or pass others. Most of the ladies’ wear sports bras and I often thought how nice it would be to have my A cup girls held high and tight just like those ladies.
The other day, I was in a thrift shop and came across and beautiful XL Nike sports bra for a bargain price. I couldn’t wait for my morning walk, a pair of black nylon women’s running shorts with small pink logo, a pair of cotton peds with pink trim, light control panty, my brand-new sports bra, and a breast cancer logo baseball cap. I was blurring gender lines just a little bit.
My sports bra felt wonderful going on. I was amazed how everything felt so snug. I felt like all was right in the world. Off I went and enjoyed a beautiful walk.
When I got home, I was a bit sweaty and decided to change and shower. That’s when things got funny. How do I get this thing off? I tries pulling it over my head, but it wouldn’t stretch and the materiel is super strong. I tried to get an arm through, but no luck. Down on my knees bent this way, bent that way, pull here. Oh, now it’s stuck. I can’t move my arm. Ouch, I just punched myself in the face! It’s stuck –what do I do? Call the fire department! Scissors? Ask my wife for help? It took another exhausating 15 minutes, but finally I was free!
Curious if this was my own incompetence in the feminine arts or was this a common problem. I Googled “can’t get off my sports bra” and low and behold, I find a plethora of narratives, videos, memes and jokes about sports bras after a workout. It seems if you want a sports bra that works well, it tends to be one that comes off with great difficulty.
Another rite of passage that I feel honored to have experienced. Guess I’ll watch some more videos and read some tips and tricks, but I am will not give up my sports bra until the fire department has to pry it off my twisted and bent body!
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| Wearing Retrofete |
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| Femulator and friend |
Have you tried Googling how to put on and remove a sports bra?
ReplyDeleteIt shows the easy way, not the extremely difficult way I used to use
Lucy
A sports bra is about as sexy as yesterdays scrambled eggs, Yuck, Never catch me in one. Why femulate something as goofy as a sports bra?
ReplyDeleteAngel Amore
Juliette Noir is the femulator. She's been absent online lately :(
ReplyDeleteMiss her - I hope that she is well.
DeletePaula, hilarious story. Funny anecdote, when my wife takes off her sports bra she said it is like wrestling with an octopus! So, your experience is shared by many!
ReplyDeletePaula, I'd been using pull-over bras for a long time, around the house, mostly. So I decided to try a sports bra. To say the sports bra was tighter would be putting it mildly! I tugged and tugged and got it on and positioned it correctly. I didn't take myself on a long walk, so I hadn't built up some perspiration moisture. But in the evening the damned thing wouldn't budge!! My solution was to really stretch out one of the shoulder straps and squeeze my hand down the side of the bra. Tight!! It took a while. But I was able to finally work it up to my shoulder, and then pulled it off! I gave some thought about how important the sports bra was to me and what I'd be missing without it. I forget which donation bag my sports bra got into!
ReplyDeleteThere are zip sports bras. Before I was on hormones I wore a pocketed one with shells. It fit well and gave me a nice look
ReplyDelete... and you can find some with hook-and-bar closures. Or adapt a pull-over style by cutting down the back and sewing on a zip, or Velcro, or hook-and-bar bra hardware (you can salvage these from old regular bras, for instance).
DeleteLol. Haven't tried one yet but you've gotten me curious...😉
ReplyDelete