Sandy responded to Monday’s post, Can I picture Helen Mirren wearing it?
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I do not understand how (seemingly) most of our sisters go through their journey trying to look like they are 22, when so many clues give them away.
I mean, I get it. Most of us go through a phase of sorts that feels like we are teens, trying on looks, textures, attitudes. But I think we all have to give a nod to reality – that we tend to and probably should, skew toward the age-appropriate.
Truly, I wonder who these sisters believe they are appealing to and I have come to the conclusion that their choices are determined by wanting to look like someone that they themselves would be attracted to, as well as what clothing they have access to purchasing. Maybe they only feel comfortable buying the discards at the local goodwill or someplace else that affords cheap prices and anonymity while shopping.
Either way, I think it casts a pall over crossdressing/gendering in general because the public can look at those sisters and cast them as pervy and then we, who might try to dress pretty/classy/age-appropriate, get painted the same way. That’s unfortunate.
What’s more is that I think women’s fashion has evolved beyond the age of our grandmother’s hausfrau dresses and other unsexy outfits. These days, most ciswomen still want to be considered kinda hip, if not young and pretty, and there are many styles out there now to accommodate (including hairstyles). I think it’s sad that there are many sisters out there who don’t know the difference and don’t get with the program.
I also understand “to each, their own,” but from a girl who prefers the looks that I think honor ciswomen, by trying to emulate them more: girl next door, soccer mom, business woman.
I do find some of the fetish looks make my hobby feel a little dirty and seedy (if that makes any sense).
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| Wearing St. John |
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| Dressing my age – NOT! |
I live in an active adult here in Las Vegas and you’d be surprised at the number of seasoned cis women, some 70+ yo, dress more like 20-somethings when they go out. As a trans women try to dress my age, but try to look as stylish as possible but sometimes it’s just very hard.
ReplyDelete"Truly, I wonder who these sisters believe they are appealing to and I have come to the conclusion that their choices are determined by wanting to look like someone that they themselves would be attracted to..." I used to say that, myself - until I got chastised for promoting gynephilia. I wasn't promoting anything, though; just my observation.
ReplyDeleteI do think what you say is true for some, just as others are fetishistic in their dress. I know some who wear nothing but business suits and appear to be conservative in every way, but they still dress to appeal to themselves in a more-sexual way than a ciswoman might. Of course, in Seattle, it's rare to see a ciswoman in a business suit these days. :-)
Love your schoolgirl pic!
ReplyDeleteThank you - It was my 2002 Halloween costume.
DeleteOMG I love this I love little girl dresses so fun
ReplyDeleteThank you - It was my 2002 Halloween costume.
DeleteThe Youtubers flashing themselves and wearing fetish clothes to the mall may be doing a diservice to those who truly femulate. “Oh look mom a tranny” comes across as negative where “oh look mom that lady looks like helen mirren” is very positive. Actually a compliment for all the hard work to get dressed and go out and about.
ReplyDeleteSure there are those who dress like whores but to them the sexualization is the key driver.
Brenda
I heard it explained once that cisgender women had the opportunity to go through all the phases of fashion maturity - dressing cutsie, teen-ish, 20-something, etc. Those of us who came to public dressing later missed out on all that development and some try to capture it all within a year or so. They experiment with fashion styles that technically are "too young" for them, but ones that they never had the chance to try when they WERE that age. Whether or not you venture out in these styles is determined by how much you want to stand out or blend in.
ReplyDeleteYes, precisely the way I see it, Julie. This last Christmas season I went out in a white lace Jessica McClintock dress with white tights and black patent maryjanes. I was never a little girl, so I never got to go to a family celebration of Christmas or Easter dressed in such a pretty outfit. I felt like going out in that outfit filled a hole in my life. Similarly, my cross dressing social group’s annual holiday party helps me reconcile so many holiday and wedding celebrations I have attended in drab, all the while dreaming of being attired in something elegant and utterly feminine.
DeleteI think Julie is on to something. I've made a point to be around drag queens and CD/TG people off and on since my late teens -- that's slightly over 60 years. I've seen more than my share of ladies dressing considerably under their age, whatever that is. And the logic they use has been exactly what Julie points out. They didn't get to experience girl's puberty and they were going to dress the way girls that age, and into their 20s and so on, got to dress. No matter that they stuck out like the venerable "sore thumb".
DeleteI don't take this "young" dressing personally or act judgmental toward them, nor do I hang out with them. I'm a "fit in with the crowd" kind of girl and with my buffalo-sized frame, I don't need to have attention focused my way, as I already stick out without their help.
But sometimes, depending on the situation and location, dressing too young can work. Hallowe'en, of course, gives us free reign to go over the top. And if you're with a group of friends in a gay-friendly club. You will get "snake eyes" from some folks, for sure, but you'll still get by (keep in mind there are no people on earth as judgmental as drag queens). Most of the ladies I've known "accelerated" their young dressing and got through it and finally became more of a lady who could blend in. Very few people can pull it off over the years like Grayson Perry!
Our local Meetup groups have ladies who "fit in" and the others are rare and soon choose to blend in with us. But we're non-judgmental and are there to support each other. Sometimes that support includes dropping a few hints. The important thing is that all of us ladies get to express ourselves and evolve. Being judgmental just drives them away.
Now for my confession.
One Hallowe'en I went over the top with a much too young, short, tight and revealing dress with spaghetti straps. Yikes! A look in the mirror on the way out made me think about reconsidering, but I was on a mission. I went to the former unofficial "gay headquarters" in Baltimore, The Hippo -- we really miss this wonderful place -- where I actually participated in the costume contest! My costume also included a sign I displayed to the crowd -- "It's Hallowe'en, do you know where your grandfather is?" I got a great hoot from the crowd, but so many of the other costumes were amazing and I got my "15 minutes of fame", but no cee-gar. Ha! So my dressing too young in public was in a safe environment and lasted exactly one night. I still have that dress in my archives and shudder whenever I see it.
The schoolgirl outfit is adorable. And I like the longer skirt length. Nothing wrong with having a little fun with outfits like that at home.
ReplyDeleteIn public, I agree dressing age appropriate is best. I do agree that CDs definitely go through a phase of dressing younger initially that they didn't get a chance to earlier in life. And over time their style may change as they pass through those style phases.
The schoolgirl outfit was my 2002 Halloween costume.
DeleteI think, Stana, since you are talking about appearance, you might say dress your APPARENT age. Some age like a fine wine, and look younger than they are. They are 70, look 55, and so dress 55. Some ... may have lived a hard life, emotional toil, health issues, or substance abuse, are 35 and look 50... might be better off dressing 50.
ReplyDeleteA roupa adequada é aquela que faz te sentir bem não importa a idade.
ReplyDeleteAppropriate clothing is one that makes you feel good no matter your age.
The phrase "Mutton Dressed As Lamb" applies to us just as much as it applies to Non Tg women
ReplyDeleteLucy