In my book, if a guy flirts with you, then you are doing something right and are probably passing. It does not matter whether the flirter knows that you are cisgender or transgender, in the eyes of the flirter, you are good enough to eat and that’s all that counts.
Over the years, I have encountered a lot of flirters. They probably think that I am a penis-teaser because I never flirt back in response. After all I am married and faithful to my spouse. I am not looking for a romantic relationship outside my marriage, so, although I appreciate the occasional flirt (affirming my femininity), don’t thread on me because this girl is spoken for.
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| Wearing Rue La La |
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| Femulating on the catwalk in the 1963 Austrian film Unsere Tollen Nichten (Our Amazing Nieces). You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube. |
This is not something I experience much of, maybe because I am "of a certain age", maybe because I continue to wear my wedding ring. What has surprised me is when a goy does hit on me, how hard it can be to get them to understand the meaning of "no".
ReplyDeleteDitto here. There is a reason I wear a (woman's) wedding ring and an engagement ring as well (no real gems though). It hasn't stopped everyone but I have a feeling that it might have and at least it is a simple non-verbal tool I can put in front of their nose to send a message. I will admit though that I have had a few creepy encounters including one on the New York subway (too long a story for here).
ReplyDeleteMy most recent shopping trip brought about 2 (TWO!) unsolicited comments from (older) gentlemen about how pretty I looked. Not interested, but OH how I floated about for the rest of the day! (Mmmmmmmmm!)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! I enjoy flirting with guys even though I am happily married. I think it has more to do with an affirmation that you are being viewed and appreciated as a female. Of course I learned early on there are a lot of creeps out there who want to do more than flirt, so knowing just how far to go is important!
ReplyDeleteI do my best to look nice, but I'm in the category of that Femulate cartoon showing a Femulator trying on a dress. The saleslady says, "It says 'I'm crossdressing, but not passing'". That's me. We used to have our Meetup gatherings at a restaurant/bar in Falls Church, VA. After we ate and had our time together, the bar quickly had quite a number of men in it. There were several of our ladies who encouraged them, some who were awkardly flattered and some of us who weren't interested. One of our "Keep Away!" signals were wearing a wedding ring. That worked, but only for a while.
ReplyDeleteIt turns out the bar we were in had a reputation of catering to "Tranny Chasers" Things worked out for the members (many turned out to be crossdressing gays) who wanted sex. Our flattered ladies mostly became uncomfortable with the attention. At that point the chasers started being aggressive with some of us who wanted nothing to do with them. I got a small group of ladies together and we headed for our cars.
I attend the Transgender Day of Remembrance services. As soon as I was getting hit on my memory of my late friend, Taci Renta popped into my head and my "fight or flight' instinct kicked in and I got out of there -- but not alone. The person who set up those gatherings enjoyed having sex, and the rest of us threatened to leave the group. Leadership changed and now our meetings are held in hotel public spaces, not dark bars and we usher tranny chasers out. We're a vulnerable group, like it or not. We need to be on alert more than regular ladies!
I've never been lucky enough to be flirted with. But if I a man showed interest, I'm sure I'd want to take it to the next step. When I'm en femme, I want to fully experience being a woman. If I'm a woman what could be more natural than being with a man. How can you truly experience what it is like to be a woman without being attracted to men? Isn’t part of the female experience loving and being loved by men? If you haven’t had sex with a man, aren’t you just playing half the role?
ReplyDeleteNo. Lesbians exist.
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