A Gucci Christmas!

By Lisa Phelps

A real Gucci dress on me, really?

Let me start at the beginning of the story. Several years ago I decided I wanted to create my own prom. After all, I missed out getting dressed up properly for my high school prom, if you don’t count the midnight blue satin suit with ruffled shirt that was in vogue in the 1970’s. (You must admit from the accompanying photo of a similar suit, that it gives off good feminine vibes, even without the ruffled shirt.

I won’t bore you with my prom story here, but suffice it to say that to attend my prom I needed “the dress” and I found a gorgeous one at Macy’s on sale for something like $69. 

After I bought the dress, I noticed that the designer was Adrianna Papell. I happily included that information in a description of the night to my daughter and her reaction was “I have no idea who the designer you mentioned is… I don’t like the idea of spending too much… it’s all about branding and buying into an idea.” 

Essentially, she was letting me know that while the dress was beautiful, she could care less who designed it. I must admit that I am not a designer hound either – I was more impressed that I got a great deal on the dress! I thought it looked gorgeous (and it would have been over the top stunning if only the model had been better...)

After that experience, I have tried not to pay much attention to labels except to check to see if a dress will fit me. The other day, however, I was in TJ Maxx browsing the racks for anything that would be fun to try on or buy or both. This particular store had a good selection of both inexpensive and more expensive clothes and I greedily snapped up a half dozen dresses and tops to take with me to the fitting room. 

A burgundy satin gown really caught my attention. It looked absolutely regal and visually striking while still up on the hangar jammed in with other less worthy examples. What would it look like on me, I wondered? The hangar tag said it was a size 10. Since I sometimes can squeeze into a size 10, I added it to the items I wanted to try on.

After not quite being able to zip it up, however, I had to admit to myself that the dress just didn’t fit. I sadly slipped out of the dress to look at the label again to check the size. The label definitely said 10, so the problem was the girth around the chest area, not the dress. (Oh, the joys of AMAB!) That is when I saw that it was a Gucci. 

A Gucci dress at TJ Maxx? Really? TJ Maxx is a discounter/reseller; it didn’t make sense that they would be carrying a dress like that. Then I noticed the price tag. TJ Maxx was selling it for the highly discounted price of only $1,400 (One Thousand Four Hundred Dollars!). OMG. This dress was originally $2,700. 

I decided right then and there that I was going to try it on again and take a photo of myself in it. When would I get a chance to try on a dress like that again? When would someone let me even do that without pressuring me to buy it? So I did and the photo didn’t end up looking half bad.

You can see that I had to put one arm behind me. That ploy was required to hold together the two ends of the ribboned belt that went just under the bosom. Even with that maneuver, I think you will agree that the dress still looked amazing, even on this old dress form. Quality really does show well.

If that dress had been $140 instead of $1400, I probably would have bought it even though I have never spent that much on a dress (a footnote to readers struck by my apparent willingness to spend a lot of money on a dress – I am in my 60’s now. When I was younger and had a growing family, I never spent more than about $10 on any of my womenswear items). My seamstress could have let it out enough for me to wear it. 

Truthfully, I would have been crazy to buy the dress even at 1/10th the cost because it would simply have gone into the closet with the other lonely members of my formal dress collection. I have a half dozen amazing dresses in that wonderful assembly of style (including the one I wore to my “prom”), but I am lucky if I have just one event every couple of years calling for a dress like that. 

I take comfort from my wife’s own, similar collection of formalwear. Although too-often ignored, each dress nevertheless shines like a beacon of ultimate femininity from the corner of my closet calling me to go out and dance!

I should add that I was just in New York with my wife and we passed the Gucci store on Fifth Avenue. As we went by, my best friend brought me full circle when she said, “I am not impressed by Gucci. It is for insecure people who are trying to place their value as human beings on their stuff. The money can be spent on much better things that help human kind.” 

Like daughter, like mother! They are both right on some level of course, but come on, ladies, don’t the times sometimes demand a little style?

Regardless of the inclinations of the ladies in my life, I’ll hang on to my life lesson from this experience: you may not be able to fit the girl in the Gucci, but the Gucci still belongs on the girl. Yeah, baby – Gucci Gucci Goo!

Wearing Yumi Kim

Alyss Hart is a Femulate reader from the Gold Coast, Australia, posing earlier this year at a crossdressing studio, Arpi's House of Transformation.