His, Hers & Ours Dept.
Not To Do List Dept.
I am a womanless beauty pageant snob. Here is a list of things that cause me to discount a contestant in a womanless beauty pageant.
👠Facial hair
👠Leg hair
👠Arm hair especially underarm hair (yuck!)
👠Male haircut (rather than wearing a wig or styling male hair in a feminine manner)
👠Cheap Halloween wig
👠Male footwear
👠Bare feet
👠Flip-flops
👠Fondling his fake breasts or worse, fondling another contestant’s fake breasts
👠Balloons as fake breasts that are clearly visible as balloons
👠Acting like a buffoon
 |
| Wearing Boston Proper |
 |
| Rachel out and about ordering a drink |
Love the banner photo!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! If you are going to present as Female - do it! Anything less is more than a joke, it's an insult.
ReplyDeleteThe first Halloween I decided to go to work as Julie, my SO suggested that I don't look "too good".I did compromise - went for more of a Peg Bundy look than my usual Business Casual. She felt better about it, and that's a major part of the battle.
So true - my first Halloween appearance at work (impeccable office girl drag) probably revealed my secret identity to all my co-workers. If that didn't do it, my second Halloween at work office girl drag appearance swayed any doubters.
DeleteStanding with elbows out is another no-no.. and of course feet should be close together. My GG friend used to tell me to wear flats with short skirts - or heels with long skirts.
ReplyDeleteThere's a gazillion of these 'rules'..
G
A lot of the 'civilian Womanless Wedding participants are not only civilians, but probably shanghaied by a significant female other. They are not really comfortable with the idea, but cant say no to the lady in their life, 'cause things could 'get chilly' (and nobody wants that).
ReplyDeleteI suspect a lot of these WW-participants simply CANT go one step further forward toward 'womanhood' lest their own anxiety levels and their mental conflicts with their own 'toxic masculinity' would shoot through the roof, as well as they be 'talked about' by his 'bros', hence the beards, ect... Others who cant 'take the final leap toward womanhood'-- I suspect they are quite nervous about really liking 'her' new gender identity...
The next step at ego defense is all the 'slapstick humor'. The first insecure male to initiate the slapstick and groping, ect... and the group has to join in to 'save face'.
Velma
I agree. I always said I wish I had the opportunity to participate in a high school womanless pageant, but given the opportunity and knowing myself back then, I doubt that I would have femulated impeccably.
DeleteI'd cut them some slack on the wig. They may not want to spend $100+ on what they plan to be a one off (though, for some, they may find they want to revisit it..), both to save money and, for those who may HAVE a decent wig, it shows they are a bit too into this to be a civilian?
ReplyDeleteBut disposable razors are cheap. If we can see it, shave it.
There's a big difference between a cheap wig and a cheap HALLOWE'EN wig, and often the difference isn't in the price. My first wig was inexpensive and only slightly more than one of those Hallowe'en wigs. Just to feel the hair brush across my neck and shoulders made it worth the cost. Can one of those Hallowe'en wigs perform like that? NO.
DeleteI agree, most of these persons get roped into this. Sometimes against their will? maybe not, as one year way back in 1974 the vocational school I went to the auto mechanics class and the cosmetology class teamed up to do a "talent" show" and naturally I was chosen to be the ugly duckling! Well me and the girl I was teamed up with decided otherwise! and I turned out rather passable, unfortunately that picture was lost to history years ago...As for the buffoon part, that was my undoing by not acting like a jerk like the rest of the guys basically outed me! So unfortunately sometimes when in Rome, do as the Romans do? To those of us who know better being a drama queen/diva is not the way to go.
ReplyDeleteI think Womanless Beauty Pageant contestants have three problems:-
ReplyDeleteWhat can they lay their hands on?
How much can they afford to spend on a one off event?
How far can they go into female mode without raising suspicions about themselves?
Lucy
The third problem is probably the deal breaker for many girls like us.
DeleteYou can tell those boys who have their mothers, sisters or girlfriends helping out! My viewing experience tells me that when the moms are involved their "girls" turn out pretty well. Note the attention to detail. Now, I've seen some series of entries over a period of years that lead me to believe that maybe some mom wishes she had a girl -- and some of those "girls" are more than happy to oblige!
ReplyDeleteWhere were those contests when I was a kid?? If we had them I know my mother would have sewn a special dress for me and paid attention to every detail -- nice wig included. Well, a lady can dream, can't she?
I am sure if my mother had the opportunity, her "daughter" would have been the belle of the ball.
Delete