I assure you that is not the case. I am and always was a feminine being (according to society’s standards). It is not an act.
I am not a flamboyant feminine male. I don't walk around with a limp wrist while carrying a purse in boy mode. But I am feminine enough that some people have noticed and thought I was gay.
As a result, I attracted gay men and turned off women who I wanted to date in my youth. Which was very frustrating because I was unaware of my effeminacy. I was just acting naturally – being myself, but that “self ” was feminine. Only after I saw myself in that video did I realize how feminine I really was.
Thank Goddess I discovered crossdressing. It was a good fit and perfect outlet for this feminine being. And once I got over the guilt, presenting as a woman were some of the happiest times in my life.
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| Wearing ModCloth |
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| Blogger Marian, who dots her I’s and crosses her T’s online |
I usually "turn Julie on and off" depending on how I am presenting. But the other day I was sitting (in boy mode) in the car with a friend who is a girl (so as not to confuse her with a "girlfriend"). We have spent many a Girls Day Out in the past, and we were discussing our next upcoming outing. I soon realized that the more we talked about plans and wardrobe, my mannerisms, posture and gestures were becoming more Julie. That was a first for me. I have never been seen as an effeminate man - not that there's anything wrong with that - but it made me wonder how many other times this had happened.
ReplyDeleteStana
ReplyDeleteI think we are similar
My feminine side is not an act it is me
A lot of my masculine side was an act to please my parents
I was expected to fit masculine stereotypes
Lucy
I think this is true for men and women alike. I am more masculine when I’m doing activities that require strength and stamina such as landscaping and carpentry and more feminine when I’m doing housework or tending to the sick and helpless in my work as a nurse. Wearing dresses and all the wonderful pretty things that go with them is a great way to externalize those feelings. Women don’t have a monopoly on femininity any more than men have one on masculinity.
ReplyDeleteOn or off?
ReplyDeleteRather than a 'on-off' switch, I liken it to assigning yourself a burden of SELF CENSORSHIP, where one is constant on guard of betraying his/her personal core behavior. You can only do so much of this, before this extra mental exertion eventually causes mental health issues. You simply cannot be who you are not.
As much as men are castigated by women for prejudicial attitudes toward women, the women also have a little work to to... Check out these links...
Meanwhile, over at rhondasescape.com this discussion is further extended, with her list of top 5 myths. Myth #5 is particularly disturbing as well as being part of a corrupt fundamentalist theology of 'man the protector', so much so that the women inside this theology thought tRump would be a better 'protector'!
Meanwhile, over at 'Scary Mommy' (I confess that I LOVE the online 'confessional'-- now measuring into the millions). The range of discussion ranges from 'I married a mamas boy'
https://www.scarymommy.com/confessional-mamas-boys/
as well as this little charmer...
https://www.scarymommy.com/baby-names-lists/boy-names-that-mean-strong-brave-and-powerful/
And furthermore,
there is the phenomenon of the 'highly sensitive person' where our emotional and sensory levels are much more acute and for that behavior, we are considered more feminine. This person is more likely to experience bouts of anxiety as well as that 'self censorship' thing I mentioned earlier.
I recently experienced relief from this lifelong problem of anxiety when I was prescribed a BETA BLOCKER (atenolol) to relieve a symptom of having a mild case of COVID-19 (heart arrhythmia) . This drug is not generally prescribed for anxiety, but it sure did the trick, to the degree I have never experienced in my 67 years...
https://hsperson.com/
https://www.alternet.org/2014/12/are-you-highly-sensitive-person-what-you-need-know-about-science-personality-type/
Velma
I have a feminine appearance with my hair past my shoulders, hips, and chest mounds (bra cup size DD). I used to be taunted for my feminine appearance, but that changed at 14 years of age when my voice deepened from soprano to bass.
ReplyDeleteNobody teases me with my appearance and my carrying a shoulder bag with my bass voice.
When I wake up in the morning I see a woman in the mirror wearing a nightgown while singing in the oktavist range.
Hi Stana,
ReplyDeleteTo see ourselves as others see us, eh?
I have to admit to a little jealousy. You certaily pulled that one off with style. 8-)
Penny
This is an interesting conversation because I also recently experienced, I think, someone realizing I have what are assigned as feminine traits while I was in boy mode. I was getting an MRI and while my clothing was feminine, I didn't have on any makeup, etc. Not sure why and I could be reading too much into this but the nurse, whether because my legs are shaved or because she saw my feminine traits, such as keeping my legs closed while wearing a dressing gown, but a pink-colored bandage over the spot where they inserted the dye IV. Maybe they had no other colors (although I would they did) but I was ecstatic that she non-verbally affirmed who I am but giving me a pink bandage. And I don't act a certain way either when in boy mode...I am who I am, and so happy when people see that and are accepting.
ReplyDelete