About 8 or 9 years ago, I started to come out on a trip to the San Francisco Bay Area. No one there knew anything about me and I felt it was safe to go out as my authentic self for the first time.
Although I had very far to go with my feminine presentation at the time, I felt freer than I ever had been before and I wanted more of it. On my next trip to the Bay Area, I decided to spend several days totally en femme and knew that I had to continue on this path when I got back home.
Over the next few years, I started building up a female wardrobe that now eclipses that for my male presentation. Additionally, I started to take voice lessons so that I could project a more feminine voice while out in public. I also had laser treatments on my face so that I could minimize the presence of beard stubble that would ruin the overall visual effects of my feminine presentation.
During this period, I started going to meetups as my authentic self and was accepted (or tolerated) in my presentation. Over time, people began to accept me for who I am and not how I looked like. Recently, I had a short term job at which I worked en femme every day where the only way some people could tell that I was not a cisgender female was the name on my e-mails.
I do not know how far I will proceed down this path as there have been some major drawbacks. I have had a relationship break up because the woman saw my feminine self as competition for her. Yet, in certain ways, it is a small price to pay to be able to go out in the world as my authentic self.
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Audrius Janonis femulating Iruna Puzaraite on Lithuanian television's Muzikinė kaukė. You can view the femulation on YouTube. |
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