No More Excuses

By Stephanie Julianna

Stana's recent post about buying girls clothes while in drab and telling a story that she was cast in Charley's Aunt has to be one of the most common ploys many of us used to shop. I used these stories to also create my own dressing events when there were none on the horizon. Stana's reminded me of one such event. It was 1983 and I was 34 years old. I actually used two story lines to make this happen.

The first, I had been using for years to buy all kinds of gowns that I loved to wear. For me, the feel of a satin or taffeta gown is simply a divine experience. To this day, I still adore the total feel of these ultra feminine fabrics.

I traveled the state for a grocery chain and frequently passed a bridal and formal dress store in Stratford, Connecticut. I had learned over the years that many formal wear stores had a “Marked Down” rack with many gowns selling for as little as $10. I would introduce myself, telling the sales associate that I was a drama teacher and was always looking for dresses to beef up my school's theater wardrobe. I believed it was an acceptable story for me to shop uninhibited and the story gave the store personnel a great plausible way to thin out this stock. I cannot imagine that they actually believed me, but it gave everyone involved an acceptable way to buy and sell women's clothes to a man, just like Stana's Charley's Aunt story. Over time, I had a half a dozen pretty gowns for the price of one. They were always “Final Sale” items. One was not the size 10-12 it was supposed to be and I could not close the zipper, but overall, it was a great way to get a great deal on new gowns.

The second story was my way to do a professional photoshoot while dressed. I don't think that Glamor Shots had started to pop up yet in malls yet and I really was tired of only having Polaroid pictures of me with the bad lighting and such.

In my travels, I spotted a professional portrait studio in Manchester, Connecticut. I built up my courage and entered the door to find a long staircase that brought me to the studio above a storefront below. I was happy to find that the photographer/owner of the  shop was a lovely lady in her sixties and we hit it off almost immediately when I told her my story. I do wish I could have simply told her the truth, but I think I came close and I think she knew anyway.

The story I told her was that I had dressed as a girl for Halloween (true) and was approached by someone who cast girls for female impersonator shows (false). This imaginary agent told me that I had potential and if I was interested in making some good money, I should call him. He said I would need a portfolio with a head shot that he could present to different clubs. So here I was hoping that she could help me.

She found this fascinating and in short order, we made a date and within a week, I was dressing in her studio and doing my makeup preparing for my photoshoot. It was a great experience and I think we both had a lot of fun. I imagine she smelled the hint of a very thin story. She complimented my makeup skills, which I honestly covered with the fact that I was a cosmetics buyer for a grocery and pharmacy chain with my boss having sent me to cosmetology classes so that I knew what I was doing when I purchased stock (true).

A rifled through my picture vault and found a few surviving pictures from this photo session. It was a great experience, but I do wish I had the courage that I have now to just tell her that I simply loved to dress like a woman. I would thank her for her acceptance and professionalism.

I do believe that over the years, the one thing I truly hate about my situation is that I felt I had to tell so many stories and lies to simply have a few moments to feel like a whole person. It is sad that we have had to tell so many lies in attempts to be true to ourselves.

Wearing Venus

Stephanie Julianna’s photoshoot