What the Tuck

By Paula Gaikowski

The one thing great about Femulate is that it has built a community where we all feel understood, safe and valued – a place where we can discuss things that our relevant to our needs and lifestyle without judgement and prejudice. Just like ladies elsewhere, however, we do have certain matters that can only be addressed amongst us Femulators. (Throughout this article I’ve used euphemisms in order to be sensitive and to add a bit of humor to an awkward discussion.)

The topic at hand would be the storage and handling of surplus equipment that being, how can I phrase this …ahem Peter, Paul and Mary? …the family jewels? All of which when not stored properly can very much ruin the look of an otherwise very feminine outfit.

Today, I would like to discuss the business of tucking and creating a feminine silhouette when putting our best foot forward. There are three basic methods or schools of thought on how to go about this.

Many prescribe to the taping technique which involves pushing things up into the inguinal canal, wrapping up Frank like a hot dog and securing it all in place with tape. The result, if successful, allows bathroom breaks and an authenticity that will fool your gynecologist.

I’ve watched a bunch of YouTubes on this method and was intrigued to give it a go. Things never seem to go as planned and the hot dog never seems to fit in the bun. Tape always grabs on all the wrong spots pulling and stretching areas that should not be pulled and stretched. You’ll find tons written on this method, but it seems to be a holy grail that I, nor any of my sisters have found. Gosh! There is even one lady who uses crazy glue, Owww!

Less time-consuming and much less painful is the gaff. You find these at any of the stores that cater to our community. There are all different types and they range in price from a few dollars up to hundreds. At the low end, there are the cloth gaffs made to pull back and hide all that is not feminine. They are very simple, but I find them to be uncomfortable and unnecessary. Midway you’ll find control garments that add a camel toe for those who want to add a touch of realism. The top end at hundreds of dollars are the silicon second skins that make me just a bit uncomfortable for some reason.

Finally, a technique perfected at Femulate Laboratories in New England and used by Stana and many sisters globally and will guarantee a look sure to pass the Crocodile Dundee Test. The control panty, whether it be light control or firm, works well for me to put things in perspective. A little push, a little shove, up and over, there you go SRS on a low budget. I typically finish off my silhouette with a Spanx-like garment with all the needed hip pads to add those curves as seen in the accompanying photo.

I’d like to finish up with just one note that’s bit personal. So just between us girls, if you lean forward over our cups of tea, I’ll whisper. Sometimes when getting out of the shower, I wonder how things might look down there if the universe hadn’t taken a wrong turn. A quick and easy system made to produce the look of XX is to take a light-weight sock and place it midway over Mary and her two sisters and pull back until they are out of sight. The sock then goes cheek to cheek where it keeps things in the feminine perspective. For me, it’s powerful and validating to see things just this way and for a few minutes, I can walk around the room and be free.

Wearing Boston Proper

RuPaul femulating in the 1995 film The Brady Bunch Movie.
Click here to view a clip..