When life gives you lemons, Shop!

I receive emails everyday tempting me to buy a new dress, a new pair of heels or a new something else. I consider perusing the offerings, but resist because I don’t know when I will have the opportunity to go out dressed to the nines again.

As it is, I have a  backlog of new outfits to wear out and did not need to add to that backlog. So I promised myself that I would not buy anything for milady until the pandemic blows over.

Then I received an email from JustFab advertising a 60% off everything sale. I was a good girl and deleted the email without visiting their website.

But after two weeks without leaving the premises, my bushel basket of lemons was overflowing. I needed a break from the inaction, so when the 60% sale arrived in my inbox again, I took the plunge and visited the JustFab.

The first thing I encountered was the outfit you see on the right: a pink tweed cropped jacket and matching tweed high-waisted shorts.

“I wish I had the legs to pull off that outfit,” I thought to myself.

Then I reconsidered, “Maybe I do have the legs to pull off that outfit!”

So I added the outfit to my virtual shopping cart, paid the virtual cashier and sipped a glass of lemonade waiting for the man to deliver to milady.

Wearing New York & Company

Sailor femulating aboard the S.S. Caronia, circa 1955

It’s time to admit it

“Let’s stop beating around the bush. We don’t just have the worst President in the history of the United States. We have no President. We have a psychotic evil blob at the wheel who goes around insulting and taunting everyone as his own ship sinks and people drown.”

On Sunday, “Donald Trump bragged that perhaps only a hundred thousand Americans will die because of the actions he’s taken, instead of a couple million Americans. Wait, what action? He’s done nothing. All of the shutdowns and lockdowns have been done at the state or local level. Governors are scavenging for their own medical supplies. States are forced to compete with each other for resources because there’s no coordination at the federal level.

“Actually, this is worse than if there were no President of the United States. Imagine if the office were simply vacant. In such case any competent officials in the federal government would be doing the best they could with this crisis, of their own accord. Instead they all have to answer to the psychotic blob, who refuses to do the job but who insists on incoherently and vindictively interjecting himself into the decision making process anyway.”

The above text comes from the Palmer Report by Bill Palmer and matches my sentiments exactly.

I live in the epicenter of the Trump Virus and people are scared to death, while that narcissistic woman-hating transphobe sits in the White House giving himself a “10” for the job he has done handling this disaster. If he had been on the case from the get-go instead of claiming that the virus was a “hoax” week after week, we would not be in the predicament we find ourselves in today.

Damn you, Donald, and damn everyone who defends you.

The Woodman

Stana Goes to the Movies

On Monday, Woody Allen’s memoir Apropos of Nothing was published. Being a big fan of The Woodman’s films, I ordered the Kindle edition of the book and read its 400 pages in three days.

Let me say up front that I never paid much attention to the allegations of sexual assault against Allen. I considered the source (Mia Farrow) and did not put much stock in her claims. After reading Allen’s memoir, I am convinced that Farrow is a liar and that Allen is innocent, just as the authorities determined.

That out of the way, I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I had many laugh-out-loud moments reading it. And it moved me to pull out my collection of Woody Allen DVDs to revisit his films.

Connecting Woody Allen films to the main topic of this blog, I can recall three crossdressing moments in his films.

In Celebrity, 6-foot-tall actress Famke Janssen is mistaken for a crossdresser.

One of the seven stories in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid To Ask, involves the misadventures of a crossdresser played by Lou Jacobi (photo above).

In Broadway Danny Rose, Milton Berle femulates Glinda “the Good Witch” from The Wizard of Oz riding a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. (Broadway Danny Rose is one of my favorite films. It is a laugh riot and features Nick Apollo Forte, who lived in my old neighborhood.)

Besides Broadway Danny Rose, my other favorite Allen films are Annie Hall, Love and Death, Hannah and Her Sisters, Manhattan, Midnight in Paris, Radio Days and Zelig. My mother hated his films – I could never understand why, but each to her own.

Wearing Boston Proper

Bill Switzer and Daniel Clark femulate on television's Eerie Indiana: The Other Dimension in 1998 (view it here).

Peacock

Stana Goes to the Movies

Peacock is a 2010 film starring Cillian Murphy, Ellen Page, and Susan Sarandon. I knew nothing about this film going in except that Murphy crossdressed in it; after his great crossdressing performance in Breakfast on Pluto, I thought I would give Peacock a peek.

It was a very interesting film and held my attention from beginning to end. It really was not a film about being trans, although there are trans elements in the film that many of us can identify with.

I am not a psychologist, nor do I play one on television, so I am not sure what to call the mental condition that Murphy played in the film. I guess he had a multiple personality disorder (distinct male and a female personalities) and his deceased abusive mother was the cause.

Murphy's femulation was very good. As a female, he/she passed and none of the other characters in the film figured him/her out. In reality, I think that someone might have put two and two together, but that did not occur in this story.

One thing that bothered me about Murphy's femulation is that he/she wore male underwear (a T-shirt and briefs) under his/her female clothing. In my humble opinion, someone with his/her disorder would wear female underwear when he/she was in female mode, but that is just my opinion.

The underwear issue did not ruin the film for me and I recommend Peacock to all.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Cillian Murphy femulating in the 2005 film Breakfast on Pluto.

No Questions Asked

Stana Goes to the Movies

Regular readers are familiar with the daily Femulator spot at the bottom of each blog post. In that spot, I feature images of femulators that I have found hither and yon.

Often, the source of those images are theatrical films and television shows. It seems to be a bottomless source for guys dressing up as gals.

Years ago, while I was searching for femulator images, I came across the photo above from a 1951 film titled No Questions Asked. The photo showed an actor in 1950’s high glam fashion and he looked so good that I thought “he” might have been an actress playing a man impersonating a woman. But, in fact, the high glam gal was actor William Reynolds.

I was so impressed with his femulation that I sought out more information about the film, as well as more images of his femulation in that film. Turned out that there was not much on the Internet beyond the film’s entry in IMDb.

I even sought out the film itself, but I could not find a copy on VHS or DVD. Evidently, TCM had the film and had shown it a couple of times, but of course, I missed it whenever it was shown. So I kept it in mind while I continued searching for other femulations.

Some time later, I learned that the film had been released on DVD, so I ordered a copy and after the mailman dropped it off, I dropped everything to watch the film.

Here is the plot summary from IMDb:

“Steve Keiver, young lawyer working for an insurance company, hears his boss remark that he'd pay a large sum ‘no questions asked’ for return of stolen property to avoid paying a much larger claim. On his own initiative, Steve arranges such a deal, earning a nice commission. But he catches the eye of gangsters who think he’s the ideal middleman for future similar deals...many of them. As Steve is drawn in deeper, the police take an interest in him, and he’s ripe for a doublecross.”

IMDb does not mention the femulation, so I will fill in that part of the plot:. The gangsters hire two guys, who dress as gals and go to the “Ladies’ Lounge” of a Broadway theater to rob the female patrons of their jewelry.

The blond femulator, actor William Phipps, enters the Ladie’s Lounge of the Broadway theater as if he owns it. (You go, girl!)

The brunette femulator, actor William Reynolds, follows brandishing a handgun and a dainty purse. Don’t you just love the outfits the boys put together for their caper?

Blondie relieves the ladies of their jewelry. The ladies were completely fooled by the boys’ femulations and during questioning by the police, one victim remarked that the lady robbers were very pretty.

Sans jewelry, the ladies are forced into the back room of the lounge.

With the ladies safely stashed away in the back room, the femulators prepare to exit the premises.

The femulators sashay out of the theater to their getaway car.

Inside the car, the femulators switch from girl mode to boy mode. How they managed to accomplish this in the cramped back seat of the getaway car is not revealed.

Using descriptions given by the ladies in the lounge, the police produced composite drawings of the perps.

The blonde and brunette femulators in boy mode.

The hero of the film identified the boys as female impersonators from the burlesque. The blonde femulator corrected our hero and said they were “artists” from vaudeville.

By the way, I found it interesting how the “good girl” in the film, played by Jean Hagen (left), resembled William Reynolds en femme. They could be sisters!

Anyway, in addition to the excellent femulations, I enjoyed the film in its entirety. It is great film noir.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

William Phipps’ test shot en femme for the 1951 film No Questions Asked

Maintaining Appearances

It snowed and rained here Monday, so since I was stuck indoors, I painted the kitchen.

Tuesday, I woke up exhausted from going up and down a step ladder all day Monday. (I knew I should have worn flats.)

Too tired to do anything strenuous, I decided to maintain the blog web page. Maintenance was long overdo and I deleted a bunch of old and dead links and updated a few links that had new URLs.

If any of you have a website or blog that has a link to Femulate.org and it is NOT in my list of “T-People & Friends Links,” please let me know (stana-stana at sbcglobal.net) and I will add your website or blog to my list to return the favor.

Wearing Wholesale7

Steve Martin femulates in the 1982 film Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid

Synecdoche, New York

Thora Burch in Ghost World

Stana Goes to the Movies

I am a big film fan (maybe too big). I have over 1300 films on DVD and probably 300 or more films on videotapes that I have not upgraded to DVD yet.

Synecdoche, New York is one film I have on DVD. I added it to my collection because it looked like an unusual film and it starred one of my favorite actors, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

The film was weird and I was disappointed. I assumed I would never watch the DVD again. That is, until I received an e-mail from Gwen today.

Gwen wrote, “I saw this film yesterday and it was really weird in many ways. The strangest being that at the end of the film, the main character, a man, takes on the persona of a woman, called Ellen. She’s a cleaning lady, so he cleans. And his role is taken by a woman. No male to female cross dressing involved. But there's a definite gender bluring going on, that you don't often see in mainstream films.”

I totally missed it. My guess is that the film was so weird that I tuned out mentally by the time the transgender scene(s) occurred. So, I guess I will be watching Synecdoche, New York again real soon now.

A film I can watch again and again is Ghost World, which I happened to catch on the dish last night. It is another unusual film (based on a comic book) and stars another of my favorite actors, Steve Buscemi. It also includes a great performance by Thora Birch, who plays the female lead in the film.

There is nothing transgender in the film, but it is definitely worth watching if you have never seen it.

Wearing Venus

Bernardo Letro

A few words about the film School for Seduction

Stana Goes to the Movies

School for Seduction is an entertaining film and I enjoyed it despite the British accent language barrier.

Here is the storyline from IMDB: “When gorgeous Italian temptress Sophia Rosselini's School for Seduction arrives in Newcastle, four friends – each hoping to release their inner sex goddess-sign up for an education in the ‘seductive arts.’ Taking their cue from sultry Sophia, the newly confident women unleash themselves upon their unsuspecting partners with lustful abandon.”

A crossdresser is also one of the students attending the School for Seduction.

The film can probably be classified as a chick flick comedy, but it’s treatment of the crossdressing subplot was not the target of comedy. The cisgender females treated the crossdresser as one of the girls, not a man in a dress, which was refreshing. (See the film’s trailer on YouTube.)

And in addition to the crossdressing subplot, femulators might pick up a few tips on how to better present as a woman. I know I did.

Wearing Bebe

Actor Ben Porter femulating in the 2004 British film School for Seduction

I Just Want to Play Cross!

Matt Baume crossplaying Captain America

“Crossplay… is cosplay in which the person dresses up as a character of a different gender. Crossplay's origins lie in the anime convention circuit, though, like cosplay, it has not remained exclusive to the genre.” (Source: Wikipedia)

When I was a kid, crossplay and cosplay did not exist and anime was foreign to me. Halloween was the closest thing to cosplay/crossplay that we had. As a fan of comic books and science fiction, monster, and adventure films, I put together Halloween costumes that reflected those interests.

One year I was the Frankenstein monster, another time I was the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Alfred E. Neuman made an appearance one year and I was a pirate twice on Halloween. My mother often helped me assemble my costumes and when I dressed as a pirate, she insisted that I wear gold hoop earrings as part of the costume. So on October 31, 1960, I had my first experience with clip-ons!

As a kid, I never Halloweened as the opposite gender. In my heart, I certainly wanted to femulate on October 31 and I am sure that my mother would have made me into a very authentic female, but I did not have the guts to do it.

My best friend did it one year and I was very jealous. He even suggested that we both go out as girls the following Halloween, but I still could not muster the courage. (By the way, I am sure that my best friend was trans. He may have suspected I was too and his Halloween invitation was an attempt to reach out to me. I so regret not accepting his invitation – it would have been wonderful having a supportive sister while growing up.)

Five years later, I did have the courage and made my first of many Halloween appearances en femme, but that’s another story.

Getting back to crossplay – if crossplay existed when I was in my teens and twenties, I think I would have participated and I’d probably attempt femulating Wonder Woman or Vampirella. Since I was able to pull off an authentic Playboy bunny, I think my Wonder Woman or Vampirella femulations would be good, too.

Wikipedia also has this to say about crossplay, “Male to Female crossplay is typically divided quite definitively into these two groups: those engaging in genderplay, and those attempting to pass as female. The stark contrast between these two groups is due largely to the social context surrounding the subject of male crossdressing. For most males, dressing in women's clothing is not something to be taken lightly, and so most crossplayers choose either to take the approach of ironic humor (intentionally not passing), or that of the masquerade (attempting to pass).”

Crossplay and cosplay is a young person’s game and I am way past being a young person, but I can look on and appreciate the efforts the male-to-female crossplayers and cosplayers and think about what might have been.

Wearing Nino Balcutti

Zach Scuderi crossplaying Dark Elementalist Lux

Misfit

Alli Cummings was different than the others.

Other 12-year-olds were giddy about getting their first training bras, but not Alli, who was completely satisfied wearing an undershirt.

Other pre-teens were experimenting with makeup and hairdos trying to look as pretty as possible, but not Alli, who had absolutely no interest in such feminine matters.

Instead of becoming a lady, Alli was becoming a misfit and Alli's parents were worried.

Alli's mom did not have time to deal with Alli. She worked all day and expected her better half to take care of any child-rearing issues.

One evening after dinner, Alli's mom demanded, "You have to do something about Alli!"

Alli's dad deferred, "Yes, dear. I know. I'll have a talk with Alli soon."

The next day, when Alli's dad heard Alli come home from school, he called out from the kitchen, "Alli, I want to speak with you."

"OK, Dad," Alli called back.

Alli shuffled to kitchen worried that something was wrong.

In the kitchen. Alli's dad was wearing his gauzy periwinkle apron and had his shoulder-length hair pulled back in a ponytail so as not to get in the way as he prepared dinner. When he saw Alli, his face brightened and he broke out in a big smile. "Hello, Sweetie."

"Hi, Daddy."

Alli was relieved by the big smile; maybe Alli was not in trouble after all.

"Sit down. We need to talk."

Now Alli was not so sure about being in trouble or not, and sat down on a chair at the kitchen table.

Alli's dad wiped his hands with a towel, then walked over to the table with his high heels clicking loudly on the tile floor. As he sat, he smoothed the skirt of his housedress under him, then crossed his legs at the ankles.

"So, Alli, what are your future plans?"

"What do you mean, Daddy."

"Well, what do you want to be when you grow up? A man or a wo-man?"

Alli was upset by the question. No one wanted to be a man and Alli was surprised that his dad would suggest that Alli would choose such a lowly status in life.

"I want to be a wo-man, of course," Alli replied.

"I'm glad to hear that," Alli's dad responded, "But actions speak louder than words and your actions tell me that you want to be a man, not a wo-man."

"Why do you say that, Daddy?"

"All the boys your age are getting into girly things, but you are still acting like a boy. I was talking with Mrs. Reardon the other day and he was bragging to me about how your best friend Timmi was becoming such a young wo-man. His dad said that Timmi has been wearing a training bra and corset for months and wears skirts and dresses now. And he had his first appointment at the beauty salon just last week."

"I know," Alli replied, "Timmi is so girly now just like Ralphi and Franni."

"Don't you want to be girly, too?"

"I do, but I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"Ralphi said that when a girly boy turns 14, he has to have an operation and they cut off his privates."

"No, no. no. There is no operation. When you turn 14, you will go to the doctor and she shows you how to tuck your privates up between your legs. Then she will fit you with a femulator to keep your privates in place."

"But how will I pee if my privates are tucked up between my legs?"

"You'll have to sit on the toilet to pee and when you are done, you will have to wipe yourself dry with bathroom tissue.... just like a real woman. There's nothing to it!"

"So that's all... there's no operation?"

"No operation at all, Sweetie."

"That's great news, Daddy!"

"Any other questions, Alli? I have to finish getting dinner ready before Mother comes home from work."

"Just one question, Daddy."

"What is it, Alli?"

"How soon can I start becoming a wo-man?"

Alli's dad was so happy to hear Alli's question that he wiped a tear from his eye as he answered, "We can start right after dinner. Mother bought you a training bra and a corset months ago in the hope that you were ready to go girly. I'll show you how to put on the bra and I will help you with your corset. Then I'll show you how to use makeup and if we have time, we can paint your nails and put your hair up in curlers. How does that sound?"

"I can't wait to go girly, Daddy."

"I can't wait for you to go girly, too, Alli.”

Wearing Nine West

Mona femulates Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's