Sunday is Velmas’ day of freedom. The weather was unusually cold here in Podunk, so I dressed in blue, wide-leg, low-rise gurl jeans, pantyhose, black ankle boots with 3-inch heels (total height 6’ 3”!), somewhat oversized and comfy white and pink banded stripe cable-knit turtleneck sweater (insulated by a silk tee undershirt) along with a short length, brassy blonde wig.
Usually I take care of fueling and oil check whilst en homme. I forgotten about the need for fuel until my truck did the ding thing and the fuel pump light showed.
This was the first time I have ever fueled en femme and then thought about the logistics of leaving purse and keys securely in car while handling Visa and affinity card in a secure theft-resistant manner because gurl jeans have lousy, shallow, almost useless pockets.I pulled into my regular Speedway station, pulled the hood release and proceeded to check the oil. The hood is slightly mis-aligned, so I have to give it a slight tug. And along comes Sir Lancelot to the rescue from the adjacent fueling bay.
Lancelot must have noticed the 42DD's.
“Hey, Lady, you need some help?”
I avoided eye contact and gave him a broad, somewhat toothy from the side smile, while merely mouthing, “Thank you,” through my ruby red lips.
My next moves should demonstrate to Lancelot that I am no virgin to the mechanisms under the hood. With used oil towel in my left hand and oversized, gaudy gold and pearl ring on my left ring finger, I draw the oil dip stick from the rear of the engine compartment with the right hand and deftly wipe the stick, re-dip and pull the stick to check the oil level.
I note the oil is a quart low, but decide that since the engine is a 6-quart system and the trip is short, the top off of the oil will safely wait. And besides, I need to finish ASAP to end this errand and avoid Sir.....
“Hey, Lady, you need some oil? A quart of oil? I got a quart of oil!”
(It has to be the double D’s.)
I offer a big side smile and a slow but sure head shake ‘No’ with absolutely no eye contact and quickly slam the hood with a firm, hard, man-sized slam.
The tank is full – it’s time to bug out.
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| Wearing Yumi Kim |
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| Antti Vare femulating on a 2018 episode of Finnish television’s A New Day. See the video here. |
I think you did quite well filling your car and attracting male attention. How did that feel to you?
ReplyDeleteIt happens! It is an intrinsic risk of femulating in public. I have been asked out before. It is going to be all about how you Graciously handle the overture. I strongly advise against any hint of humiliating your admirer.
DeleteSouthern women have an innate ability to simply 'stare through' any unwanted suitors as if they simply were not there, to avoid any eye contact. I suggest you practice same.
More specifically, Lancelot had parked his vehicle three fueling positions away from my truck, and he never approached me, so he simply assumed I was a tall female...
If he had looked into my truck, he would have seen another woman sitting in the front passenger seat.....My passenger was paying absolutely no attention to the goings on outside the vehicle. I did mention to her if she had heard the goings on outside, that a GUY offered to help me check my motor. 'She smiled'. She knows how good I look, even at age 66.
That woman is my WIFE.
WTF?
More on this later......
Velma
Well, are there any Finns out there who can tell us what's the context of this program? Crossdressing and terrorism in the same episode! But Anti Vare is looking pretty good, except for a couple "scenic views". This reminds me to go with a variation of my fun line, "On a clear day you can see all the way to Talinn".
ReplyDelete...there's a difference between chivalry and being hit on... and you were the latter.... should have been reaffirming though...
ReplyDeleteI refer you to the first reply. Lancelot, was a perfect gentleman, and respected boundaries. Thanks, Velma
DeleteOh, he can be a gentleman... that just means he knows when the answer is "No" and does not push himself further.
DeleteInteresting show - what I can follow of it. I especially enjoyed the music as Tessa entered the restaurant, The musak was playing "Dude Looks like A Lady"
ReplyDeleteI recommend you see the previous chapter (633) and the later one (635).
ReplyDelete