Wedding Gown Femulations

By Paula Gaikowski, Femulate Contributing Editor

It was a typical busy weekend filled with family errands and activities. My wife and I were off in separate directions to meet later at a friend’s house in Putnam, Connecticut. On my honey-do list was to drop off clothes at the Salvation Army.

I was on my way to Putnam before I realized that the clothes were still in the back. I found a Savers thrift shop on the way to Putnam and stopped in with the clothes to drop them off. Most of my girl clothes come from thrift shops and I couldn’t resist a quick look around.

I was almost on my way out the door and there it was: a tea-length wedding dress. It drew me closer… a size 18, “Yes!” and it was beautiful. The fitting rooms stood a few feet away. What the heck! Into the dressing room I went. I unzipped it and then stepped into the dress, gradually pulled it up and pushed my arms through the sleeves. As I reached around and tugged the zipper up, I felt the dress begin to close in around me and as if it held a little magic or maybe that magic was inside me, I became for just a second a bride. I stood there spellbound looking in the mirror. Another two or three minutes of wedding bliss and I retreated into my prison uniform (cargo shorts and ducks unlimited t-shirt).

Back in the car, I sat and thought for just a second and noticed my eyes had teared up a bit. Wedding dresses are powerful and emotional garments. They carry with them dreams and hopes of a lifetime. It was a powerful experience for me. I would be a bit off and distant the rest of the evening.

If you have ever worn a wedding dress, you may have had similar feelings. As transgender women, many of us miss out on this experience.

I was elated to see an event recently held in Denver. WhXYte Wedding, an all-transgender model bridal fashion show celebrating and benefiting transgender women. The organizer, Hana from Hana’s Designs, has been a friend of the transgender community for decades. Back in the 90’s, her salon became the place to go for transgender women in Denver.

As those more mature amongst us remember pre-internet, it was businesses like those where a transgender person could find support and network with others in the community. When Hana became ill with cancer, the outpouring of support from the transgender community was remarkable. She never forgot.

A recurring theme she often heard from many transgender women was the desire to be a beautiful bride. This motivated her to produce WhXYte Wedding which permitted some transgender women to live out their visions of being a bride at an fashionable, enjoyable and elegant event.

The event included a wedding ceremony celebrating a transgender woman and her wife renewing their vows, a gourmet menu, TED speaker Paula Stone Williams, dancing and a silent action. This event was a fundraiser to assist Denver area organizations that deal with the problems faced by transgender people.

What was awesome about the event is that the brides came from all walks of life: a Navel Commander, State Legislator, Scientist, Doctor and Firefighter. It is wonderful that now we as a transgender community have finally come out of our safe havens and can celebrate an elegant and fashionable event like this with dignity, pride and most importantly, hope.

Wearing Venus

Femulating man and wife