I wore the Julia Jordan gunmetal fit-and-flare dress, Dress Barn off-black pin-dot tights and Nine West metallic platform pumps. Instead of accessorizing with silver jewelry as I originally planned, my wife suggested I wear something colorful for the holidays, so I wore a red necklace and red earrings.
As I began to fill my old tired-looking black handbag, my daughter gave me an early Christmas present: a red Kate Spade handbag! I was so surprised and happy with her generous gift that I almost started to cry, but I held back my tears so as not to ruin my makeup.
I left the house and drove to the banquet hall hosting the luncheon. Usually I wear my heels when I drive, but the platform pumps are about a half-inch higher than my usual footwear and that half-inch or so made it difficult to manipulate the three pedals under the dashboard, so I wore flats to drive and switched to heels when I arrived at the banquet hall.
I entered the hall and when I checked my coat, the three women staffing the front of the hall said they loved my outfit. One said she wanted to buy shoes like mine.
I found a seat at a table with my former co-workers and it was just like last year's Christmas luncheon when I wrote, "It was as if I showed up in boy mode." Folks greeted and chatted with me like old times. The fact that I was presenting as a woman made no difference.
Reflecting on what I wrote last year "...as if I showed up in boy mode," I realize now that it did not matter if I showed up in boy mode or girl mode. Rather it mattered that I showed up in Stan mode. In a dress or slacks, I am the same person that my former co-workers knew for 20 years and I think most of them were glad to know me just as I was glad to know them.
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| Wearing Unique Vintage (Source: Unique Vintage) |
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| Joe Regalbuto femulates in a 1990 episode of television's The Love Boat. |
Stana, you look fabulous in the dress (even if the picture is fuzzy) and I want to buy those shoes too. Your family's support and surprise gift of the red bag almost makes me cry, as I don't have anything like that in my life. I'm very happy that you had a wonderful time at the luncheon.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tina. Last night, I was rushed preparing the photo for the blog and did a lousy job, so I redid it this morning and hope is an improvement.
DeleteYou look great!
ReplyDeleteI need to bring Heather to work more frequently than once a year...
Thank you, Heather.
DeleteDear Stana,
ReplyDeleteYou look lovely. I’m so happy for you. Your wife and daughter were so sweet and loving with your wife’s suggestion and your daughter’s gift. I imagine you loved being one of the girls with them. And what a joy to be so femininely adorned and totally accepted by your former workmates. They like and accept you as a woman, and I’m sure they love seeing their “new girlfriend”. We Femulators are so fortunate to have this special transgender gift. It is SO LOVELY and WONDERFUL that we can (at least occasionally) be girls! When I go out as Sheila, I absolutely love being accepted by cis-gender women and accepting men.
Love,
Sheila.
Thank you, Sheila.
DeleteReally nicely put together Stana.
ReplyDeleteJoan
Thank you, Joan.
DeleteYou're fabulous, Stana. Your experience just goes to show people hate what they don't know, but when they actually know one of "those people" things usually change. You've been "training" your former co-workers for years and now they know YOU.
ReplyDeleteI don't "pass" as anything but a man in a dress, but it's important to me that I express all the parts that make me who I am. For years I've been shopping at a Macy's and have gone from some man buying women's clothes -- and occasionally returning them because they don't fit -- to where I am today. One woman has been a sales associate in the Womens Department for all those years. Eventually she started directing me to certain clothing lines that are "cut more generously" in the arms and trunk, recognizing that men's bodies are different than those of their usual customers. As I became more "out" with my clothing, wearing sportswear that was "stealth" and buying pretty dresses I got more personalized help, but the dressing room was off limits.
I've become even more comfortable and confident in my women's clothes and even though I'm still that "man in a dress" I present myself as a woman shopping for clothes. I don't ask about the dressing room, I just make my selections and head in to try them on.
I recently found a pair of dresses in the "Last Act" rack that were real steals. "My" sales associate commented, "I'll bet this looked great on you, with its' nice length". We chatted for a while about my choices and parted with our usual. "See you soon". So here's a person who was wary of me some years back who knows "all" of me now, and sees there was never anything to be concerned about. I persisted, gradually exposed her to Mikki, and now she's comfortable, much like you did with your co-workers, Stana. I plan to visit her next week in that dress with the "nice length".
So happy for you, Stana. And you look FABULOUS! Your wife and daughter are so supportive, it makes such a difference. My wife knows but hasn't wanted to be involved, but she said she will (probably) join me and my 2 friends on a Christmas Night Out soon!
ReplyDeleteAlso, there's a clip from this Love Boat episode on You Tube! Just a clip, but it's better than nothing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbsTRPpJ1Wg