It was 55 years ago, but I recall the day as clearly as if it were yesterday.
I was home alone. Dad was at work. Mom and my sister were out shopping or some such. I went into my parent's bedroom and searched through my Mom's dresser drawers looking for her nylon stockings.
I found the stockings, removed a pair from the drawer and tried them on. I knew how to roll them and then unroll them up my legs because I had seen women do it in movies and on television.
I straightened the seams and then I opened my Mom's closet to look at my legs in the full-length mirror mounted on the inside of the closet door. My hairless legs look very nice in a pair of stockings, but I thought they might look better with a pair of shoes.
I searched through the shoe boxes on the closet floor, found a pair of four-inch high heel pumps and slipped them on my stockinged feet. I looked in the mirror again and was mesmerized by what I saw... not a 12-year-old boy's legs in drag, but an actual pair of shapely woman's legs.
That was the beginning. Soon I was trying on bras, girdles, slips, blouses, skirts, dresses, hats, gloves, earrings, necklaces, bracelets and I even began experimenting with cosmetics whenever I was home alone.
Although I can clearly remember that first crossdressing experience, I have no recollection of what moved me to do it.
At the time, I was not aware that crossdressing was something that people did, so I was not emulating other crossdressers.
I was aware of female impersonators on stage, film and television, that is, men dressing as women for disguise or for entertainment. But back then, I had no plans of being a female impersonator when I grew up, so I should start practicing as soon as possible.
At age 12, I did not think I was a female, so I should dress accordingly.
I have no idea why I tried on that pair of nylons, but I'm glad I did.
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| Wearing Venus. |
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| Vincent Beier, male womenswear model |
Oh dear sister, we share so many experiences...
ReplyDeleteIt was a sunny Saturday morning and the house was empty, my parents were probably off to work, I was on my own until after lunch. I distinctly remember going with premeditated purpose into my sister’s room to try on a dress, stockings and boots just like the girls in my class. I had never done this before. I can vaguely remember a need to do this, a powerful draw to do this, it seemed instinctive. I was 9 years old an innocent child, this wasn’t a fetish or sexual turn on.
I remember putting on the panties and stockings, then the dress falling down over my head and then the boots. So this is what it feels like, I remember thinking. I saw myself in the full length mirror and became utterly astounded. I looked like a girl, this was wonderful. Now I could be just like them.
Now please listen closely, it was then at this very point in time, a moment I will never forget that I remember for the first time speaking these words as I stood in front of that mirror, I whispered them slowly “I wish I was a girl” and then “I want to be a girl”. Yes I thought to myself, “I want to be girl”, imagine that I thought in wonder and surprise, Then the struggle began.
"a need to do this, a powerful draw to do this, it seemed instinctive" - You put into words exactly how it felt for me, too!
DeleteStana- my story too but I was 3yr's old . I found the Full Slip & Seamed Stockings in the clothes wash.
ReplyDeleteI was hooked.
Hugs
Diane
Just between us girls...
ReplyDelete"At age 12, I did not think I was a female, so I should dress accordingly."
Extra word there?
I think you mean 'male'?
DeleteA golden rule before hitting the SEND button anytime is to read and re-read SLOWLY and DELIBERATELY what you have written to make sure it makes sense to others - it will always make sense to YOU!
No - I meant female.
Delete