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| A Working Woman |
The package was very attractive. It was like it came from Don Corleone – they made me an offer I could not refuse!
I accepted the offer and the paperwork was signed, sealed and delivered this week. So as of May 31, I am free as a bird.
I am old enough to retire, but my financial advisor suggested that I wait until next year (to increase my monthly Social Security pay-out) and find some freelance or part-time work until then.
My mind is spinning with ideas about what to do; I am kicking around a lot of thoughts.
I can always continue to write. I know how to do that successfully and lucratively, but maybe it is time for a change... time to begin my next life.
Is there much of a demand for a trans fashion consultant? That is, someone who would accompany and advise novice and/or closeted femulators to help make wig purchases, get makeovers, buy outfits, etc.
Would a woman's clothing store hire me as a saleswoman? The managers of the local Dress Barn know me well and like my fashion sense, so maybe they would be willing to hire me.
I would appreciate any comments or suggestions you may have.
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| Wearing Venus. |
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| French femulator, circa 1962. |
I thoroughly enjoy the freedom and flexibility of self employment (although I do miss paid holidays and pension contributions) I suspect that the route to an enjoyable and reasonably successful career (rather than simply trying to make money) is to find something you love doing, and then find a way of getting people to pay you to do it.
ReplyDeleteIn your case maybe combine a couple of your enthusiasms into something like writing about amateur radio?
I still freelance in the Amateur Radio field, so I will be able to do even more.
DeleteI know for an absolute fact that a clothing store would hire you even as a temp in a heartbeat. You know you want to do it and this also means getting and getting pretty for going to work. Just do it!
ReplyDeleteI plan to stop by the local Dress Barn and feel them out about it.
DeleteSo I went to Dress Barn during my lunch hour, spoke with the manager who knows me in both girl and boy mode, and she said she would definitely hire me!
DeleteW00T!
DeleteGo for it!
DeleteWell, how about offering your services as a store shopping 'assistant/advisor/helper/facilitator' - or whatever you might like to be called? Transwomen would book an appointment, through a store, with you by the hour. You navigate them around the various feminine areas and offer advice on what to purchase. Your advice would be 100% client favourable and you would use your years of dressing to make the client as female-looking as possible in accordance with their desires. This will be a tough call in many circumstances but I would think that for the majority of your charges you would be able to make a big difference in their presentation to the world as women. The complete service would include makeovers from beauticians who have 'qualified' and trained in the specific speciality of M-F makeup. Then there would be add-ons such as wig selection and care, nails, jewellery, shoes..... Your service might be tied to a specific store or perhaps to a selection of stores in a large mall when you would work one day a week for several outlets instead of several days a week for just the one. The aim would be to get more of us 'out there' and to a better standard of presentation. The advantage for the store would be sales to customers they perhaps might not otherwise attract and by offering the hand of friendship and security the probability of repeat business. You of course would be out as a woman with a purpose and get known and accepted amongst the store/mall employees. Plus - you never know where it may take you. It is just a start. Salary would have to be discussed - but I stress that you ONLY offer the best advice and never go for sales that do not suit the client. TRUST!
ReplyDeleteAnother idea that could work in conjunction with the above would be Trans-Training for store employees - what the whole T-thing is all about and how to help and receive T-customers.
Regards, Catherine.
Yes, a trans fashion consultant. Or providing trans training (Trans 1010) for civilian businesses and organizations.
DeleteI have a TG friend who did exactly that. She got a job at Talbotts at the local mall. She met with the store manager and the District manager. She also had a small business on the side helping TG clients with shopping for clothing. It is a great idea and a wonderful way to express your female side while helping others.
ReplyDeleteIt is great to know that it IS possible. Thank you for the heads-up.
DeleteNon-profit work can be very rewarding. Volunteer (they always need help) and that can lead to part/full paid work. That worked for me. As a volunteer you can work as Stana - no transition required if it turns into a paid job. All dressed up and somewhere to go.
ReplyDeleteI hope your third act is a much fun as mine. Good luck.
I have considered volunteering. There are lots of museums in my area looking for volunteers --- just have to find one that is OK with a trans volunteer.
DeleteNot only is it rewarding mentally but also tax wise. I write off 2500 miles a year for my volunteer work at the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective. At 14 cents per mile that is $350 in deductions!
DeleteDeductions are certainly an incentive!
DeleteCongratulations on the new opportunity, Stana! You have so much experience doing outreach to youth and others in the trans community, I am certain you'll find -- or create -- a terrific role for yourself. Catherine's suggestion sounds like a good one too if you want to go the retail consultant route. Excited to hear what happens!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Peter. I am very excited about my future whatever it may be!
DeleteCongratulations! Free as a bird is good! And a wonderful trans opportunity. There are some wonderful ideas above. Make the best of it!
ReplyDeleteJust make sure you can continue your company's insurance on a basis other than expensive - and time-limited - COBRA (presuming they offer insurance at all.) At some companies, if you don't take retirement at separation, you can't get back into the plan when you finally do retire. With all the insurance issues going on in DC, that might be something leading to eventual un-insurability. And that's not a good thing.
Mandy
Thanks for the congrats! As part of my separation deal, my company will pay for COBRA 100% for one year after my last day at work.
DeleteYou look great in that dress Stana.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Connie. That dress is one of my favorites!
DeleteYou are going to be so missed in your long time professional home. You will be treasured wherever you go.
ReplyDeleteHave you considered blowing the dust off your old JD papers and seeing what sort of legal counsel might be sought after by birds of a similar feather?
So happy to see anyone paddle ashore within reach of a happy retirement. Ours is a fortunate generation in this regard (relative to youngsters). Happy landings to you.
Cheers - Petra
Thank you, Petra! I am so rusty JD-wise that I doubt if I'd pass the bar!
DeleteYou know even if you're not admitted to the bar, you might offer some pro bono help with trans people doing name changes by assisting with the paperwork. Several trans attorneys here in Atlanta are doing that.
DeleteAlas, you'll never get to transition to full time at work. You laid the groundwork so well too!
ReplyDeleteBeth (gg) has created a career out of trans makeovers and photo shoots. Check her out:
https://makeoverswithelizabethtaylor.fullslate.com/
I don't know what demand is like where you are though.
Best of luck in WHATEVER you do!
Thank-you, Meg!
DeleteBeing in CT and a novice, I would use your services. Penny East Haven
ReplyDeleteGood to know I already have a customer! Thank-you, Penny!
DeleteAnother venture to consider would go like this:
ReplyDeleteWe’ve all been through the same. Guilty dressing in secret from an early age, not knowing what was happening, that we were different and couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Were we gay (no,) would we rather be female - yes but it wasn’t possible? How we envied the girls so much and their freedom to be SO feminine and girly with their girl friends. How much they always laughed and had a closeness that was so enviable. That is what attracted me I think - the desire to be FEMININE - rather than to be a girl and female. Even now I am so amazed at the way I have to think and behave differently when dressed. It is a cerebral state of being brought about by the clothes I wear and the situations that I uncontrollably and by chance find myself in. Happiness would be to go into the real world as a woman, with a woman amongst other women, thinking girly, acting womanly and feeling FEMININE - without fear or shame.
It’s a huge ask and to be honest I need some help, as I believe we all do. So where would we receive such help and is it possible? I don’t know is in the USA but here in the UK are many establishments that dress you up for the day, take a few photographs which are Photo-shopped to death in order to make you look better. Some offer the chance of a trip out into the real world but all at a cost that makes the experience little more than an irregular treat and only increases the frustration levels when you realise that this is what you would love to do on a regular basis but can’t afford it.
A set-up or organisation would be along the following lines:
You, Stana, are the CEO or ‘Madam’ in charge of the organisation! You manage a group of ‘directors’ all of whom are female by birth, love to be feminine and can quite understand and appreciate that a man would like to be the same as they are. They are managed into groups of about three with an expertise in fashion and style, cosmetics, hair, grooming/beautician etc. As a group they would ‘adopt’ a T-girl and have the challenge or responsibility, depending on how you look at it, to make her as convincing as possible, bring out the woman within and with the aim to teach them to acquire the confidence to eventually step out that door into the real world. Real girls learn to be girls from their mothers, older sisters and friends. We can do the same from older mature females with years of experience in the art of the feminine. I’m sure there would be a waiting list for such help at least a mile long! The trick would be to build a pool of ‘directors’ sufficiently interested and motivated to help those of us from across the gender divide and teach us to feel our way into the gender we would prefer. You, Stana, haven’t reached your present level overnight and have many tales to tell of the rocky journey along the way I’m sure. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to help those who come along behind to make the journey less long and more enjoyable?
The ‘directors’ financial reward would need to be discussed but they wouldn’t be doing it for the money as much as being fascinated by such a situation and enjoying seeing a man release the ‘woman within’. The T-girl would be expected to cover all costs and make whatever financial reward as is negotiated. Eventually the aim would be to create a group of T-girls whose lives have been enhanced by the release of their feminine side who now enjoy a social life that involves shopping, theatre, galleries, concerts and the like. The ‘directors’ would become advisors and always on-hand with help and advice. They would also be allowed to join in any outings when the T-girls would share the cost. Eventually the concept would grow into an organisation that helps, advises and facilitates those like us who need to be feminine. A regular ‘convention’ could occur whereby a hotel is taken over for a weekend when T-girls and directors get together for a girl gathering - somewhat along the lines of Provincetown but on a smaller more intimate scale.
Dreamy thoughts that could come true?
Regards, Catherine.
Thank you for the suggestions, Catherine.
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