We make choices everyday.
(Boxers, briefs, or panties? Yogurt or bagel? Bra or bra-less? Regular or decaf?)
Some choices are more important than others and some have long-term ramifications.
(Should I be a doctor, a lawyer or a fire chief? Should I marry her, him or it?)
Sometimes our choices backfire. Sometimes our choices are just plain wrong and we suffer the consequences, but we are still free to choose whatever we want.
So why can't we choose our gender?
Despite all the scientific evidence to the contrary, the anti-transgender crowd claims that transgender folks choose to be transgender just like the anti-gay crowd claims that gay folks choose to be gay. And according to those crowds, making those choices is wrong.
I am naturally feminine. My feminine speech and mannerisms are a bad fit in boy mode, but in girl mode, they are a perfect fit.
I could man up and never wear a dress again, but I chose not to do male drag. So, yes, I made a choice to live authentically and not fit in with the boys.
But what if I was not transgender?
What if I was a guy with no gender issues, who carefully weighed all the options and decided that living my life as a woman was preferable to living my life as a man. And as a result, I chose to live my life as a woman.
What's wrong with that?
I say, "Absolutely nothing."
It is just another choice. Admittedly, it is an big choice with a lot of long-term ramifications, but humans make important choices everyday. That's why God gave us intelligence and free will ― so that we can make choices ― like choosing our gender.
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| Wearing Brahmin. |
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| FF femulates Shirley Bassey on Portugal's version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar. |
It would seem a bazaar choice, to voluntarily give up higher pay, better job prospects, better access to services, increased social status, greater political representation, and more comfortable shoes!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately our Gender isn't something we can choose any more than we can choose the colour of our eyes. We could choose (as many have before us) not to admit that we are trans, to hide, and continue to do male drag, but that would not alter the simple fact of what we are.
Our gender is attributed or defined for us at birth by medics and accepted by our parents on the basis of our observed physical characteristics. For the vast majority, that's the unquestioned end of the story. However, for some (ie, us), the factor that identifies our gender is lodged out of sight between the ears. Some of us can tolerate the constant sense of being not well in our skin and some can't. Dealing with it is the tricky bit. Although I'm well built, 6ft+ tall and 100% hetero, not a day goes by that I don't wish I was female. It's been an ever-present thorn in my side throughout my life.
ReplyDeleteYes, for most the Gender they have assigned at birth will match their Gender identity, it is when our gender identity does not match the assigned Gender that the problems start, this is not something we have a choice about. I suppose that the bit we can choose is our Gender expression, although in my own case there came a point when it was no longer tenable to have my Gender Identity and Gender Expression coincide.
DeleteDear Stana,
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely nothing wrong with being transgender, a crossdresser, gay, a feminine male, or a masculine female.
Whether one chooses to be any of the above or not, it doesn't matter. It's all OK. I think all those "variations" from the "norm" are beautiful. I am very happy that I am a crossdresser. I have no desire to give up that wonderful (and fun) expression.
Love,
Sheila.
(currently, my mobile browser is precluding me from using my "TampaSheila" profile; thus, my "Anonymous" posting)
I would have life far less problematic if my gender had matched my sex. Being hetro. doesn't help either. Keep finding Stana's blog a great source of inspiration and entertainment.
ReplyDelete