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Three people noticed I was wearing a new wig, but no one
noticed that I was wearing new glasses with burgundy
colored frames!
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∞ ∞ ∞
Most of the live blog posts were short and I want to expand on what I wrote on Friday, so here goes!
∞ ∞ ∞
In the 10:05 AM Post, I mentioned attending a “gemba.” When it was my turn to speak, I said “I had nothing” because I had no news regarding my part of the project under discussion.
The moderator of the gemba, our Director of Engineering, asked me, “Are you sure there’s nothing you want to add?”
Knowing him as long as I have, I am sure he was teasing me about my “costume.”
Anyway, after a long pause, I said, “No”, but after I thought about it, I wish I had said, “I guess you all figured out by now that I am transgender.”
That would have been a gemba they would be talking about for years to come!
∞ ∞ ∞
When I went to show myself to my boss, I found her in her boss’s office (my boss and her boss are women and both know I am transgender, but now that I think about it, I bet that they don’t know that the other one knows because I came out to them separately).
Anyway, they were both wild about my “costume” and my boss’s boss blurted out, “You look better than (my boss)!”
I did not notice my boss’s reaction, but I think my boss’s boss might regret what she said.
The truth is that although my boss is pretty and is about 10 years younger, I think I can modestly say that I compare favorably to her as a woman.
∞ ∞ ∞
Friday as a woman was more like two days as a woman: a day as a woman at work and a day as a woman outside of work.
Outside work, I felt like an invisible woman passing unnoticed among the civilians. When I interfaced with civilians like the sales associates at Dress Barn and Macy's, they treated me like a female customer. I sometimes suspect and detect that such treatment is due to the $ in the word cu$tomer, but on Friday I think the treatment was genuine. At least it appeared genuine to me and that is what counts.
At work, everyone knows me as a guy the rest of the work year who does a good job looking like a woman one day of the year. Five co-workers know what's really up, but I don't know what the other 70 people think.
Comments like "you look too good" or "you do it too well" infer that they suspect something is going on beyond a Halloween costume. And those are just the folks like our CEO on Friday, who are vocal to my face about it. Others probably have similar opinions, but keep their thoughts to themselves or amongst themselves.
Whatever their thoughts, they all seem fine with me. I have an excellent relationship with everyone in my office and that probably has made it easier for them to accept me or put up with me during my one day per year fling as a woman.
So why do I do it?
Of course, I love doing it, but there is a small ray of hope that someday I will be able to go to work (and go everywhere else) as a woman all the time. My Halloween fling is a test for me and my co-workers for when that wonderful day finally arrives and I think we all passed.
Outside work, I felt like an invisible woman passing unnoticed among the civilians. When I interfaced with civilians like the sales associates at Dress Barn and Macy's, they treated me like a female customer. I sometimes suspect and detect that such treatment is due to the $ in the word cu$tomer, but on Friday I think the treatment was genuine. At least it appeared genuine to me and that is what counts.
At work, everyone knows me as a guy the rest of the work year who does a good job looking like a woman one day of the year. Five co-workers know what's really up, but I don't know what the other 70 people think.
Comments like "you look too good" or "you do it too well" infer that they suspect something is going on beyond a Halloween costume. And those are just the folks like our CEO on Friday, who are vocal to my face about it. Others probably have similar opinions, but keep their thoughts to themselves or amongst themselves.
Whatever their thoughts, they all seem fine with me. I have an excellent relationship with everyone in my office and that probably has made it easier for them to accept me or put up with me during my one day per year fling as a woman.
So why do I do it?
Of course, I love doing it, but there is a small ray of hope that someday I will be able to go to work (and go everywhere else) as a woman all the time. My Halloween fling is a test for me and my co-workers for when that wonderful day finally arrives and I think we all passed.
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| Actor Alex Newell on the red carpet at the RuPaul's Drag Race party, February 2014. |
When you wrote that you wanted tell everyone you are a Transwoman, I understand that feeling. It crosses my mind often. I know why you kept silent. But I bet if you did say something, there would be little to no negative reaction. Most people would say, I thought so, now what is next on the meeting agenda. Its our internal issues that keep us quiet. Society is moving on.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct... "most people would say, I thought so." They have their own stuff to deal with and mine may be interesting for a moment, but then they move on.
DeleteIt's like Brigadoon, except you wake up once a year instead of once a century.
ReplyDelete