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| A Mirror Selfie |
Thank-you for all your comments and e-mails in response to my request for your input on why I should or should not come out as trans at work.
Almost everyone supported my desire to come out and almost everyone said that I should only do it with my wife's support.
There was some disagreement on what I should do after I come out:
- Live as a woman 24/7
- Work as a woman, home as a man
- Work as a woman or a man depending on my mood
I am mulling everything over trying to decide what to do.
One Big Event
Since I did not spend $1000+ attending Fantasia Fair last month, my pocketbook permits me to attend One Big Event this Saturday with bells on.
One Big Event is a benefit for the Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective and is billed as "Connecticut's Premier LGBTQ Gala." I have attended in the past and have enjoyed the event each time.
One Big Event is a black tie affair, but I will be wearing a new cocktail dress instead.
Your Favorite Photo
I received two inquiries over the weekend asking if I am still looking to post your favorite photos and the stories behind them, as I did earlier this year.
Yes, I am.
No one has sent me anything recently, so that is why I have not posted anything. That being said, my open invitation to post your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo still stands, so don't be shy, send me your fave foto.
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| Wearing Brahmin. |
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| Linus Rosenauer, male model |
Oh my Stana! I don't know how I missed this question. My two cents is you have to come out all the way-half would slowly kill you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you though!
The one thing I did not comment on which is the most important was the support from your wife. Keeping family intact can sometimes take some sacrifice but is necessary. So many lose family and us lucky ones need to be reminded of that. Time helps spouses understand as it was never directed at them, but trans people HAVE to come to grips with our true selves or we are on a path of self destruction. Give your wife an extra hug, flowers, and be grateful she is working with you, I know I sure am.
ReplyDelete--Almost everyone supported my desire to come out and almost everyone said that I should only do it with my wife's support.---
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that most people thought of your wife. You've said a bit about her over the years you've written this blog - and I'm glad that your readers think she should be consulted....
--There was some disagreement on what I should do after I come out:--
As would be expected....
--Live as a woman 24/7-- Could your wife accept this?
--Work as a woman, home as a man-- I have a feeling that your wife might accept this.
--Work as a woman or a man depending on my mood-- This may be the hardest of all.
--I am mulling everything over trying to decide what to do.--
Listen to your gut. You seem to be doing this - and I have confidence that you'll find an answer that best suits your needs....
M
This is really not a decision to be taken lightly. Or by asking well (?) wishers.
ReplyDeleteHere's what a coach told me:
If a situation appears sub-optimal, question deeply what is working and what is not. Write these down and labels them pro's and con's. (Try for at least 100 of each). Which of the pro's are sustainable, which of the con's can be fixed at reasonable cost? Adjust your list by striking out the pro's which are unsustainable, and striking out the cons which can easily be fixed. What does this new list look like? Give weight to each pro and con (ie importance 1-10) Add these up. Are there more or less pro's than con's?
Or else just flip a coin. Heads for yes, tails for no. When the coin lands are you happy with the 'answer' or not?
And finally, what's wrong with ambiguity? We don't need to live in a binary world.
Paulette