Shopping Semi-Femulated

Looking through my wardrobe this past weekend, I was not enamored with the choices I had to wear when I go to work as a woman on Halloween Eve. I have new dresses that I have not worn yet, but they are all too dressy for the office. I also have dresses that are appropriate for the office, but I already wore them to the office.

Going to work as a woman is a very big event on my calendar. I wanted something new, so I began shopping online for an office-appropriate dress.

I scoured the DressBarn website and found four dresses that I liked that were office-appropriate.

Since time was of the essence, I did not order online. Instead, I planned to go to DressBarn Monday morning in boy mode with print-outs of the dresses I found online, snatch the dresses from the racks, try them on and purchase the best of the bunch to wear on Friday.

Trying on womenswear in boy mode is an inexact science especially for a woman like me who relies on foundation garments for her girlish figure. So I wore a panty girdle and waist cincher to work on Monday.

The only problem was that the waist cincher made my C-cups outstanding. Wearing a bra would only make matters worse, so I dug into my closet and found the most voluminous top I own and slipped it on. The top did the trick. Although I could feel my girls jiggling as I walked, what was jiggling was hidden well by the top.

After arriving at work, I told my boss I was taking an early lunch and around 10:30 AM, I drove to the nearby Dress Barn store where I am known as a good customer in boy and girl mode. The store was empty except for two sales associates, who know me well. After friendly greetings, I showed one of the sales associates the print-outs of the dresses I found online.

She informed me that she did not have my top two picks, but she thought the other two were available. So I followed her around the store as she found the two dresses. She also suggested a third dress that I overlooked on the website; it had potential, so I took the three dresses to the dressing room and tried them on.

For starters, all three fit me perfectly. Since they were all figure-hugging, wearing my panty girdle and waist cincher paid off because without them, they would not have been such a perfect fit.

Of the two dresses I found online, I absolutely hated the way one looked on me, while the other one was just OK. On the other hand, I fell in love with the dress that the sales associate suggested (photo above). I even have a pair of high heels that I have never worn because I did not have an outfit to go with them, but now I do. So I purchased the dress.

By the way, two weeks ago, I bought a gorgeous dress I found online. But when it arrived, it was not so gorgeous on me, so I returned it to DressBarn for a refund.

Which just goes to show you that the best way to shop for clothes is in person, preferably as a woman person or at least, shaped as a woman person.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Katie in an Alice in Wonderland Halloween costume, circa 2005.