“If we can focus on the positive side of being transgender and see the unique gifts that we have, then maybe we can help swing the general public's view of us as being a bunch of perverts to being truly gifted people. We can only win over the general population one person at a time. It is an arduous process and each of us must put in some time in the trenches to help change things. This is my attempt!
“So, what do you see as the gift(s) of being transgender? What unique perspective and irreplaceable view of life do we have? Just saying in the words of the Joni Mitchell song, ‘I look at life from both sides now’ is a bit vague and non-specific. We need more details to convince people.
“Would love to hear your views!”
Leave your responses as Comments (below) or e-mail Monica: monica.mulholland at gmail.com
Wearing BHLDN.
Actor Eddie Redmayne in the upcoming film The Danish Girl.
Like Monica I also see my transgender ism as an asset and not a curse. As hard as it is to be me, it has such reward in understanding people better. Especially the beautiful differences between masculinity and femininity regardless of the sex of the individual expressing them. And feel that it is our duty to be ourself with the world knowing we will change it one person at a time!
ReplyDeleteYes, Hollybnh, the more we put ourselves out there in all our radiance the more people we will change....but it takes time. Thank for connecting.
DeleteMonica
It's a curse in the sense that often our lifestyle often doesn't blend into the lifestyle of the rest of the world. If we truly lived our lives like we wanted to, many of us would be crossdressing to work for a few days, then showing up on a thursday in complete boy mode. I can't say I blame them, imagine the confusion of them keeping up with how they address you.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, I love the perspective I have. I can empathize somewhat with the female gender. Heck, sometimes I think my wife is DAM lucky she's married to me. Very few men understand her the way I do.
Yes, tg_captioner, it can be a curse and it can be a gift.....like all other things in life, it is a matter of perspective and attitude. Yes, I am sure my wife is mostly happy with me also.....but I try not take it for granted....I try to be conscious of her needs too....and be aware that it is a team and sometimes I have to take one for the team.
DeleteMonica
I have always seen my transgenderism as a blessing, though I am aware that every blessing always comes with challenges. The biggest blessing is how it has helped my relationship with my wife, whom I love dearly – a couple of examples: she knows that I do listen when she talks to me; she likes to take me shopping because I have an eye for fashion and colour coordination, and will tell her whenever I don’t think an outfit is not a good idea… I could actually write a fairly long list. It will probably be best if I email Monica directly.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anna, that is my conclusion....every silver lining has a cloud....a supportive wife is our greatest treasure....I am so grateful for mine.
DeleteMonica
Although it took me an incredibly long time to see the positives, I have come to realize that most of the objection I had to my being transgender stemmed from my desire to be normal for other people. Its only when I stopped worrying what others might think that I started to consider that being this way need not be a curse.
ReplyDeleteThere are inherent challenges to being transgender that cannot be erased but you can at least control how you feel about yourself and that in itself is a great victory.
Thanks Joanna....reasonable people try and adapt themselves to the world: unreasonable people try to adapt the world to themselves; hence, all advancement comes about from the efforts of unreasonable people! Long may we be unreasonable.
DeleteMonica
At this point of my life, the only 'curse' I see with being Trans is why I didn't transition earlier in my life and the pain and suffering I inflicted on myself and others closest to me. I agree with the rest we have the rarest of human abilities to see both sides of the 'gender coin'...it's too bad society is just now coming out of it's closet to accept us. It's their curse more than ours but it leads us down really ugly paths such as suicide, unemployment and discrimination.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your input, and those who have emailed me...I will try and answer them individually in the next day or so.
ReplyDeleteI think for the most part I saw it as a curse for most of my life (I am now 61). Back in the day with no internet of information available on the subject I was left to my own guilt and fears. I could not look at a girl the way I thought most boys did. I wanted to do girly things, wear makeup, play dressup but could not because I was a boy, boys played with boys toys. When I started to crossdress it even got worse because now I had really gone into the perverted world and guilt was extreme. I had to dress but the guilt was almost unbearable. No one to talk to, several times I thought I could not take it anymore. Never told anybody, nobody knew my secret all those years. I know my mom knew because I wore her clothes, but she never said anything. So then little by little I read about transexuals and who they were. Started making sense about my feelings. Then I found out about DES and the tragedy that ensued. I remember my mom telling me she took special vitamins after she miscarried after my older sibling was born. After reading about that I fully accepted myself and realized why I am the way I am. It was like a ton of weight came off my shoulders.
ReplyDeleteBut all along I was a friend of the female and hated when boys teased and made fun of girls because deep down I knew I was one. So it really was a blessing that I was able to empathize and understand the female body and mind better than any male can. I have fully accepted myself, love my femininity and am out to family and selected friends. Life is soooo much better. If you asked me then if I ever thought of this as a gift, I would say you are crazy, now I would not trade it for anything. Shopping anyone?
Thanks Elle, the internet has been a sanity and a life saver (literally) to so many of us...I cannot think of a group who has been benefited so much by the power of connection and information.
DeleteMonica