After I filled my shopping cart at my favorite grocery store, I headed for the cashiers and got in the shortest line. While I unloaded my cart, I noted that my cashier was new. (I have been shopping at this store for over a year and recognize most of the personnel who work there, so I usually recognize any personnel who are new.)
Initially, I thought the cashier was a 20-something male. He was a large person, over 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. He had a short unisex hairdo and wore an oversized top that hid any gender clues that might have caused me to think he was female.
After I finished unloading my shopping cart, I was able to pay more attention to the cashier. I noted then that he was wearing more bling than you typically see on a cashier, male or female: large glittery silver earrings and a matching silver necklace. Then I noticed that his eyebrows were plucked and shaped into thin arches. And finally I saw his name tag which read "Chrissy."
Now I was sure that my cashier was not a male. But due to my initial impression that she was male, I thought she could be a transwoman. When she finally spoke, I was convinced she was trans. Her voice was feminine, but still had masculine traits that gave away her birth gender.
I could be wrong, but having gone around the transgender block a few times, my trans radar is pretty good and I am sure she is a transwoman. Of course, I said nothing to her about my thoughts, but I hope to see her again next Saturday.
Street style during New York Fashion Week, February 2015.
Central Mississippi Medical Center’s womanless beauty pageant contestant.
I do not get out and about as often as you do but it was the idea of a having a spare with that helped my wife get comfortable with me being dressed around the house. When I help with the vacuuming, cleaning and especially the cooking the odds are that I am in femme mode to one extent or another.
ReplyDeleteSeveral months ago my wife and I had a similar experience in a Lowe's store. The cashier was husky with neck lenght dyed blond hair. The cashier was wearing pink, feminine colors under the Lowe's vest along with sneakers with pink laces. The cashier also had fingernails painted in an interesting assortment of colors. While my wife and I were both somewhat confident that the cashier was "T" we were not conclusive. There were an assortment of tattoos that seemed to contridict the concept of being a transwoman. We have not seen that cashier on subsequent visits to that Lowe's store.
Pat
It's funny. My previous run in with a transfemale was in the same store last year... a young transgirl shopping with her mother.
DeleteDear Stana,
ReplyDeleteI think you handled the encounter with the "suspected" transwoman well by not saying anything that indicated you thought she was trans. When I'm out (in girl or boy mode) and see a stranger who I'm pretty sure is a transwoman, I say nothing. I think that's the best policy for these reasons:
-- she might be a genetic woman
-- if she is trans, she might think she "passes" as a genetic woman, and be annoyed at being recognized as trans.
So, I think the best policy when any of us encounter a stranger who appears to be a transwoman is to NOT indicate that we "know", but just treat them as pleasantly as possible. If something about their appearance is particularly pretty and feminine, you could just compliment them (without saying anything that implies you know their "secret").
Love,
Sheila.
I learned long ago to keep my mouth shut no matter how much I want to say something!
DeleteI have had similar situations and just keep a friendly conversation going, acknowledging the person as a whole and not acting like they are someone out of the norm. If chemistry or situation dictates a compliment always warms the heart. If you can, make their day, smile.
ReplyDeleteI was very pleasant with the cashier, but then again, I am always pleasant with cashiers because I know they have to deal with some unpleasant people regularly.
Delete