Modi Operandi

Happy New Year

Actor Alan Cumming in British television's The Runaway (2011).

Happy New Bra!

Elle e-mailed be about checking off another item from her bucket list.

One of my bucket items, and yours as well, was getting a bra-fitting. I did it!

Actually, I was not totally committed to the idea until my daughter said, "Just do it."

Totally drab in a T-shirt and my Gloria Vanderbuilt jeans Glorias (running shoes), I asked the nice lady in Nordstrom if I could get one. She could not have been nicer and said, "Of course."

She grabbed a tape measure and we went to the men's dressing room and like any other woman, she measured me and said she would return with some samples.

When she returned with a 42C, I was amazed always thinking I was a 48B. I had brought along some inserts, but the ones she brought were much better. She put me at ease and we had a nice girly conversation about women's breasts, about bras in depth and about how 90% are wearing the wrong size. We also talked about all her trans customers.

I left with a nice little number and the inserts. A fine bra it is that fits like a glove. A good bra will cost more than the usual, but the fit is amazing.

All in all, we are our own worst enemy when it comes to fearing this. Women are, like you have said, fascinated by us.

Wearing Ann Taylor.

Womanless beauty pageant contestant.

High Heel Hacks

I love wearing high heels, so I really appreciate these five genius high heel hacks from WhoWhatWear:

☞ How to figure out if shoes will be uncomfortable before you buy them. 

☞ Why you should not drive a car while wearing heels.

☞ Seven tricks to help you walk more gracefully.

☞ A simple trick that lets you wear even your highest heels painlessly.

☞ How investing in a really good pair of designer heels will ensure you're more comfortable. 

You will find the high heel hacks here.

Wearing Alice + Olivia.

Actor Darren Trumeter on television's The Whitest Kids U'Know (2007-2014).

Sheila's Favorite Photos (of Sheila!)

These are three of my favorite photos. The pink satin chiffon pose was taken at Southern Comfort Conference (SCC) in Atlanta in September 2013. The blue cocktail dress and faux white fur stole was taken at a T-girls house party in the Washington, DC area in November 2012. The houndstooth business suit pose was at my Orlando area social and support group meeting circa 2007.

In response to my open invitation to send your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo, I received a lot of photos and stories that I am posting in the the order I received them. My invitation still stands, so don't be shy, send me your photos! And by the way, there are currently 17 girls' photos in the queue.

Wearing La Redoute.

Billy Bigwood, professional femulator.

Nadya's Favorite Photos (of Nadya!)

I like the first one not because it’s a great picture, but because of the story behind it and the person who took it – an old college friend (in fact, the best man at my wedding), who knew about Nadya, but had never met her in person before.

We got to know each other in college more than 30 years ago and had stayed friends through multiple countries and cities. So when my marriage was breaking up eight years ago, he and his wife (also an old college friend) were among the first people I turned up – and among the first people I told about Nadya. (And that’s a whole other story.)

He lives in Chicago and I don’t get out there much, so when I found out I had a business trip planned there, I contacted him and asked if I could extend my stay a couple of nights at their house. And also that Nadya was planning a night out before that and whether he wanted to join her to explore the Windy City’s nightlife. He didn’t hesitate.

Fast forward to that Friday night and a frantic rush to get ready after a day of meetings. I wasn’t nervous; I just wanted to make a good first impression. I need not have worried. When I greeted him at the hotel bar, I got a big hug, a “you clean up very nicely” and we launched into a long catch up on life, love, family and work.

It wasn’t until about an hour and a half later, at dinner, that we actually got around to talking about Nadya – and mostly about how she seemed to be much more fun and outgoing that the other me.

We listened to jazz at the Green Mill and then show tunes at the Redhead Piano Bar (where he took that picture of me). Before we called it a night, we agreed to a change of plans: Nadya would accompany him to the Bears game on Sunday and hang out at the house that weekend. And so she did.

This time I was more nervous, not about introducing Nadya to his wife, who knew about her, but to their just-turned-adult children. Coming down the stairs (in a practical outfit of jeans, blouse and boots – no skyscraper heels that day!), I wasn’t sure what to expect: Smiles? Giggles?  Hugs?  Questions? But, of course, they were incredibly blasé as most 18-year-olds are about things in their parents’ life.

As were his friends in the season ticket space at Soldier Field, more intent on how badly the Bears were playing than on the strange, tall woman in their presence. And after the game, the three of us headed down to the South Side to soak in more jazz, a walk around the University of Chicago campus and dinner. A completely normal day with old friends, but a new kind of normality for Nadya. A very comfortable, comforting one. And one I could get used to.

That was in late September.  I’d like to think that’s part of the reason why I look so at ease in the other picture taken at the Way Out Club in London last week on another business trip. That’s really my favorite picture so far – I don’t think I’ve ever looked that relaxed and comfortable as I do there with makeup and hair coming together (finally!) just so and even managing a warm smile. 

Sometimes the best thing to make a photo work is being comfortable in your own skin.

In response to my open invitation to send your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo, I received a lot of photos and stories that I am posting in the the order I received them. My invitation still stands, so don't be shy, send me your photos! And by the way, there are currently 18 girls' photos in the queue.

Wearing Nicole Miller.

Femulating in Amsterdam in 1982.

To all my readers…

Doctor’s Orders

By Paula Gaikowski

The delight I experienced from spending several days en femme while in the UK was followed by a crash in emotions when reality set in after a few days back. The need for a girlcation day was evident, however getting out and about is always a bit tricky for me.

I decided to schedule an appointment with my therapist Dr. D and visit as my true self. So it was fun preparing for the appointment. Shopping at a new found Savers thrift store I found near work I scored big, with a tags still on pair of Gloria Vanderbilt black slacks, coordinated with a violet Vera Wang sweater.

The challenge for me was getting out of the house. Without going into details, I had to dress and leave my makeup and wig off and put the finishing touches on in a parking lot. I have to say I hated this. It made me feel like I was doing something sneaky and wrong. I love dressing and primping at home or in the hotel room where I can enjoy the experience. Here I was looking over my shoulder the whole time, so my makeup came out lousy and I just didn’t feel right.

The high point to getting dressed is always my nails. I have always used Kiss Press on Nails they come highly recommended and tested by the consumer engineers at Femulate World headquarters in bucolic central Connecticut. They are the best, no doubt.

There has been a dearth of these nails lately, probably in my humble opinion to the fact that more and more men are realizing that it’s much more fun to be a girl than chugging Busch Light and watching wrestling. So in frustration the other day, I opted for a set of IMpress Broadway Nails. Bad move girlfriends!

So there I was in the Mass Pike Park and Ride with a bad makeup job and my coiffure less than perfect. I open the package and the nails spring forth like feathers from a pillow fight. They wouldn’t stay on my fingers and kept falling into the most inaccessible crevasses they could find. Finally I got them to stick somewhat, but never had all ten on for very long. I then had to spend the better part of Saturday morning scouring the car like a CSI forensic technician looking for errant nails that would have been difficult to explain to my wife.

So all was not lost and I was able to finally get my girl on and enjoy the day. My first stop was a Savers location on the way into Boston. I didn’t find anything good here, but had a great time trying on a beautiful wedding gown (sigh).

Getting into Boston early, I parked and went over to Boston Medical Center café and enjoyed a cup of coffee. It always is exhilarating to walk through a busy campus like this and be seen as just another woman. I walked the two blocks over to my appointment and waited in a bright and cheery atrium.

There was an older gentlemen waiting for an appointment with his urologist. Broad shoulders and a weathered faced that foretold a lifetime spent working hard outdoors. A man not easily intimidated, here he was out of his out of his element. Nervously he engaged me in conversation,

“I drove all the way in from the Cape!” He let it hang there waiting for a response.

Knowing I had to reply, I offered “Hmmm, that’s quite a ride.”

That was all he needed and he was off and running,

“My wife and I use to live in Roslindale, raised four kids, all girls. We retired out to the Cape six years ago. I’m in for the flow test, every six months. I still drive in here to see, Dr Koldkuts. He’s one of the best in the country.”

I smiled back, “It’s great that you have such a good doctor. It’s hard to find good Doctors these days. Some of the best in the world are here.”

He had offered up a short bio and by now I’m sure he was curious about me. So he brashly asked, “So what are you here for? You waiting for your husband?”

For a brief moment the little red devil sat on my shoulder and I toyed with this response:

“Hell No! I’m here to see Dr. Koldkuts. Six months ago, I came in here a longshoreman with a kidney infection and he gave some new kind of drug. Now look at me; I’m working in the dress department at Nordstrom’s!”

But I didn’t, ladies, and truth be told I have too much respect for a man like that to rib him in such a manner. I thought about coming out, telling him I was transgender, but decided to play the part of the waiting wife.

“Yes, my husband’s here for the same test you are. How long does this take?”

Our conversation continued for almost 10 minutes. Using my feminine instincts I asked him about his daughters. I listen attentively as he proudly told me about his family and grandchildren.

It was a seemingly ordinary conversation that was to me extraordinary because I had taken my rightful spot in the universe as a woman.

It was good to see Dr. D and we talked about a lot of heavy stuff, but the one thing he made clear was that it just was plain unhealthy to keep Paula locked away and that I needed to make it a priority to get my girl time.

Who am I to argue with the Doctor!

 

 

 

Wearing New York & Company.

 

 

 

Yet another photo of actor Ben Porter in the 2004 film School of Seduction.

Wearing Jeggings Though Male

My New Jeggings Worn to Work

I wore my new jeggings to work on Friday ― the pair with the wider legs rather than the pair with legs that are as tight and narrow as leggings.

In Friday's post, I wrote that the jeggings with the wider legs were "similar to your typical menswear stretch jeans." I retract that statement.

While standing, its legs hang loosely and do not cling to your skin, but on closer inspection, they are definitely narrower than boys' jeans legs.

Bending my knee or sitting down, the narrowness of the jeggings' legs is more apparent. They cling to my skin just like leggings and when I get up from a sitting position, the legs are still clinging; it looks like I am wearing "high waters" and I have to shake my legs or pull down at the hems to correct the problem.

The fake front pockets have not been much of an issue. I put my wallet in one back pocket and my comb and hanky in the other back pocket. And I attached my car keys to a belt loop using a D-clip, so I don't need to carry a purse.

The zipper is shorter than on boys' jeans, so in order to release my plumbing for urinary purposes, I have to pull down the jeggings slightly. However, since I sit like a lady for urinary purposes, this is not an issue.

By the way, I forgot to mention that all the slacks I ordered from DressBarn were from their "tall" variety in size 16W. Since I am 5 feet 14, I wanted to get the longest in-seam and the talls I ordered were perfect in that regard.

In addition to work, I wore them while I went shopping after work. No one said a word about my jeggings. I doubt if anyone even noticed and they "passed" as boys' jeans.

However, I know I am wearing them and like the fact that I am wearing women's clothing. I also like their look and feel. And the narrow legs make me look thinner.

Wearing RAGA.

Actor Adam Campbell in the 2006 film Date Movie.

…and Mary

 

 

Mary wearing Ann Taylor.

 

 

 

Muxes of Juchitán, Mexico.

Colleen’s Favorite Photo (of Colleen!)

The story behind the photo is that I took an opportunity to visit a makeup artist/photographer for a makeover and photoshoot several years ago.  I had never been seen by anyone else while dressed until the day of the makeover/photoshoot. 

First Amanda did a fabulous job of making me look like a woman.  I didn't recognize myself.

Second, she opened her closet to me an allowed me to select from an extensive wardrobe that  she had collected over the years. 

Once I was dressed in the borrowed clothes we started the photoshoot.  It was exciting, but also very tiring.  It's hard to continue to smile when your feet are hurting from the shoes you are wearing and some of the foundation garments you are wearing start to chafe your skin.  However, those trifles were more than made up for by the quantity and quality of the photos that Amanda took.

After we tried several different costumes it was time to go home.  I dressed in an outfit of mine and after having several photos taken, I made a huge decision: I decided to wear that outfit home.  I had to travel approximately 85 miles back to my home and I did the whole trip dressed up as a woman.  It was exhilarating and dangerous ― dangerous because I kept checking myself out in the rear-view mirror during the trip.  I loved it.

I've had Amanda do my makeup a few times, but that first time was the start of my new life of being who I am more than I had ever done before.

I hope you like the photo.

In response to my open invitation to send your favorite photo along with the story behind it and the reason it is your favorite photo, I received a lot of photos and stories that I am posting in the the order I received them. My invitation still stands, so don't be shy, send me your photos! And by the way, there are currently 17 girls' photos in the queue.

 

 

 

Wearing Bebe.

 

 

 

Professional femulator extraordinaire Laverne Cummings, circa 1965.

Pockets

In my "Self-Gifting" post, I wrote that “I want to introduce more womenswear into my boy wardrobe, so I bought four pairs of pants from DressBarn --- two pairs of dress slacks that I can wear to work and two pairs of denim jeggings that I may be able wear to work. I am not sure about the jeggings; they may be too feminine for boy wear, but I don't have any jeans for girl mode, so now I do.”

A few day ago, the mailman delivered the slacks and I immediately inspected my order.

The two pairs of dress slacks fit perfectly and are suitable for either girl or boy mode. The only issue I have with the dress slacks is that the front pockets are shallow.

The two pairs of jeggings also fit perfectly, but in different ways. The legs on the one pair were very narrow and very tight just like a pair of leggings. There was no question that they were womenswear. The other pair had wider legs similar to your typical menswear stretch jeans.

The only issue was that both pairs of jeggings had false front pockets; it looked like they had front pockets, but in fact, there were no front pockets.

In boy mode, I populate my pockets with a wallet, loose change, car keys, a comb, a handkerchief and if there is no shirt, vest or jacket pocket available, an iPhone. So I think I will need a purse when I wear the jeggings and maybe even the dress slacks.

Wearing Bebe.

Actor and comedian John Cleese in British television's Monty Python's Flying Circus.