| Each day, I get a little closer to going to work as a woman on a regular basis, that is, a more regular basis than once a year. Recently, the company reorganized my department. My boss moved on to another position in the company and I had a new boss, a woman who has been a co-worker for over 17 years. She and I have always had an excellent working relationship. Also, she has witnessed most of my Halloween appearances at work en femme. (She is the person who remarked that when I am en femme, I resemble a woman who was a former employee here.) We had a sit-down meeting this week to discuss my projects, both old and new. |  |
It was our first one-on-one sit-down meeting since she became my boss, so I decided that it was a good time to tell her about what was really behind my Halloween appearances at work en femme. After discussing my projects, I told her I was a transgender woman.
She admitted that she was not surprised.
She also said that she was perfectly fine with me presenting as a woman at work.
And so it goes!
Wearing Louis Vuitton.
Actors Ben Savage and Rider Strong femulate
in a 1997 episode of television’s Boy Meets World.
That is so wonderful!!!! We all wish we had that privilege... Now for the big question, how often is "more regular?"
ReplyDeleteMandy
Hi Mandy... once I start, I am all in, so "more regular" means each and every work day.
DeleteThat will be fabulous...hope it all comes together for you! (And it seems like it will, at some point.)
DeleteMandy
Stana, that is awesome, and something I hope you can do. The relaxed way you presented this shows your confidence and her willingness of you to be you. It posses the question though. Once, and if, you begin presenting in your female expression, will this have to be the rule and not the exception? Will your female employee presence have to be a full time thing? Of course for me the ideal would be to dress my mood, and I know for me being present as in male or female guise is part of my life, but can be confusing to those who aren't up with gender variations of expression in one personality. Regardless, this is another door being opened by a fantastic ambasidoress to the gender fluid community!
ReplyDeleteHi Holly!
DeleteMy boss and her boss are OK with dressing as the mood strikes me, but once I start, I am all in, so I would present as a woman each and every work day.
I think that is just wonderful! Couldn't it get complicated on the home front though? I know your family is accepting. But working full time as a woman can practically make it a full time thing at home as well. I hope all goes smoothly and you have everyone's support so that you can be the happy Stana you deserve to be. Agin good luck on this great new aspect of your life.
DeleteAll you need now is a half-baked excuse. Call it "femulating Fridays" or something of that nature.
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT!
Deleteor "Transgender Tuesdays" or "Trans-Thursdays" or just dress every day of the week!
DeleteFabulous news! While everyone else is dressing down, you'll be dressing for success! I am truly happy for you and can't wait for the day I can have that possible option.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lori
DeleteStana:
ReplyDeleteI know we're not voting on this, but I vote "go for it." If you spouse is approving, seize the day. If your company, at the corporate level, is truly supportive of "T"/gender rights, seize the day. If you are sure that the next boss can't undo your successes, seize the day. You are a wonderful trailblazer for the rest of us and you have our undying admiration for all the barriers you've helped push past.
Obviously this ultimately is your decision, but don't miss an opportunity to SEIZE THE DAY!
Wishing you all the best. Thanking you for all the inspiration.
Kind regards,
Rhonda
Hi Rhonda - Thank you for the encouragement. If the wife says "go," I will definitely seize the day!
DeleteStana is this something that you want to seriously consider and if so, might it open a door you do not want to close in living full time? I know that every time you push an envelope we never go back but go forewards and how would your wife react to this change if you were to do it?......Joanna
ReplyDeleteMy wife is an "out of sight, out of mind" sort of person, so if I don't dress around her (which I never do), she is OK with it, so I hope that will go for work, too.
DeleteStana, I'm not really wishing to meddle, but you have just crossed a major MAJOR hurdle in going full time! OMG!!! Huzzah!
DeleteWhat are you going to do? Can this work with your wife? Oh I do so much hope it can!
You have to do this! (No pressure - LOL!)
If you do it, will you go back and forth between male and female, or will you begin to more regularly dress as a woman? Do you have a desire to dress as a woman full time?
ReplyDeleteHi Nadine - I would be full-time now if I was not committed to being the guy that my wife married. So I would present as a woman only when my wife and family are not involved, which is pretty much what I do already except for work.
DeleteA while back when I was getting a makeover at a M*A*C store in Denver. The makeup artist said something during a discussing about transgender people, She was referring to her transitioning clients, It's wonderful to watch a person change and grow, and finally see them "as nature intended."
ReplyDeleteThat phrase stuck with me "as nature intended" and it reminds me of you, your true nature.
Yes, Paula, I wear my true nature on my sleeve, so that is why my boss was not surprised when I told her I was trans.
DeleteYou've got the green light. How will your family and neibours react to you coming and ging en femme?
ReplyDeleteThe dressing up Friday (every) seems a good way forward. What an opperchancity!
The best of luck, luv Caro.
Hi Carolyn - When I go out en femme, I dress at home, so my family is used to seeing me come and go en femme. And I live in the woods, so neighbors are not a problem.
DeleteYou do have a great number of femme clothes for work. You will be the best dressed woman in the office!
ReplyDeleteHugs
Diane
LOL Diane! I figure I will not have to repeat an outfit for about a month!
DeleteI first went to work as a woman just a year after I came out in 1998. Since then, I have gone to work as a woman every day I work. And I love it. Love you, Stana
ReplyDeleteIt sounds wonderful, Kathryn. I can't wait to join the club.
DeleteWOW! So many things to consider - but the opportunity that has been placed on your doorstep is a wonderful thing. I'm sure a lot has to do with the fact that you present so well, your confidence and, overall, your work product because that really has to be the ultimate consideration for an employer. I wish you well in your journey - although I'm retired I'm considering applying for a part-time job - and it will be interesting to read about your observations and experience if you do decide to do it! Remember ... "with great power, comes great responsibility" :-)
ReplyDeleteGood Luck
Jeanine
Thank you, Jeanine. If anything, I am very responsible and conscientious.
DeleteStana, I have been with my partner during a surgery and are just "catching up" on your posts.
DeleteI'm sending a huge WOW and congratulations on your relationship with your new boss and the opportunity it presents to live your life as you see fit!
Cyrsti
Thank you, Cyrsti!
Delete
ReplyDeleteDear Stana, this has been on the books for quite some time. I suspect you have a long "what if.. " list and now you can tick off the "what if I could go to work full time as Stana?". As with the not surprised response from your bosses, your colleagues will not be surprised either. You have "primed" them over the years with Stana, the only wonder you will get from them will be why haven't you done this earlier!
I know you will not jump at this without intensive thought, you are a mature woman not a naïve inexperienced girl. I see you are committed eventually in going to work full time, this means a drastic increase in Stana exposure to the world! A part from having to get up x hours earlier five days a week to get ready, what about the time not directly in the office? Going out for lunch, shopping before or after work or regular contact with someone who will not expect Stana, what are the chance meetings with family and friends not in the know?
We know you will master it, but such confrontations can also have repercussions back to home and 'out of sight/mind' will not necessary hold. I'm not trying to put the dampers on this, far from it, but it is a big step and as Joanna remarked no going back.
You are starting a new chapter in your book, we will be following ever word...
lots of love
Abigale
Thank you, Abigail. Getting up even earlier than I do now (5:30 AM) will be no fun, but I think that doing my makeup everyday will become so routine that it will not take as long to do as it does now. For example, by the end of Fantasia Fair, my face was up and running in less than 20 minutes. Meeting up with friends and relatives is not much of a concern. The in-laws already know and my side of the family is mostly dead or live so far out of town that it is unlikely I will run into them. Most of my friends are scattered afar, too, (or are trans). Plus, I look so different en femme that people usually don't put two and two together. Mixing it up with civilians is a non-issue --- been there, done that countless times. So what is holding me back? Am I afraid to deal with my immediate family or am I afraid of success?
ReplyDeleteA good question Stana. I think it is family, with getting up in the middle of the night there will be a slim chance of seeing someone before leaving, coming home is another matter. I think it will be stressful trying to get into the house without being seen. Maybe an outhouse, if you have one, for changing could be a solution. Whatever scenario you choose, Murphy's Law says you will some time in the future turn a corner and run straight into your wife! You must prepare for this eventuality, maybe this is nagging you.
DeleteWith being successful, maybe this is in some way the same.
You have had the goal to go to work as Stana for so long that it is natural that you are hesitant in committing yourself. But what I think is possibly troubling you is the day after, your next goal being 100% Stana not just at work. And there we are again, back in the family.
You are near your ultimate goal my dear, plan carefully.
My wife has seen Stana loads of times, so that is not bothering me. I just worry how accepting she will be of the idea of me going to work en femme every day. By the way, I live in the woods, so not much chance of anyone else seeing me coming and going. Thank you again for your thoughts, Abigail.
DeleteYou're beautiful, Stana.
ReplyDelete