I compartmentalize my life in order to maintain my secret and in general, I have done a good job. Femulate readers who are determined to find me out can and have figured out who I am. And that is not a concern.
However, there are friends and relatives who do not know about Stana and I want to keep it that way for now.
One area where I have come close to outing myself is with e-mails. I have two e-mail accounts - one for him and one for her and on occasion, I used her e-mail account to compose his e-mail and vice versa.
After that happened a few times, I figured out a way to avoid the problem. I simply added a "signature" to her account, so whenever I compose an e-mail en femme, the signature is automatically inserted at the end of the e-mail. If I am composing an e-mail for him and see that the e-mail already has a signature, I know I am using the wrong e-mail account and switch accounts before proceeding. (My signature consists of a jpeg of myself en femme, so I can't miss it!)
Since I added the signature, I have avoided outing myself via e-mail.
Just a thought… imagine if Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman was transgender, too!
Wearing Robert Rodriguez.
British sailor femulates as Miss Everton in the 1950s.
Excellent idea! I have had the same problem, and will add the signatures today!
ReplyDeleteSo far, so good. I have been lucky to avoid outing myself, as I have dual accounts. I admire you for your non surgical, non hrt path. Somehow that seems right for me as well. Once acceptance happens, whats to change. I was born this way to BE this way. No inward changes are going to change my outlook on being who I am. The surgeries might help those who have to pass, but all I want to do is blend and be me. The only change is my makeup and wig for the obvious. Living the dream!!!
ReplyDeleteFeel the same and support this way of thinking more then I support the general need to change physically as I see that as being more conforming then to be life threatening except I. Those cases where there is no question the body doesn't match the mind. All others are just conforming to a two gender world, when gender isn't binary it's fluid.
DeleteI think that part of the feeling of joy and exuberance that I get from my dressing relates to the concept of having a secret identity. I find being able to shed my guy guise for my secret identity femme presentation to be empowering.
ReplyDeletePat
I haven't done this.... yet.... :-)
ReplyDeleteI'd love to be able to pass without strong measures, but I do wan't actual breasts too.
For whatever reason I think trans folk are more accepted in the UK? Or maybe like San Francisco, London is more accepting?
Maybe I feel that way thanks to some of the 'Glam' and other musicians and artists I've admired? David Bowie, Adam Ant, Benny Hill, Boy George, Freddy Mercury?
The first place we need to look for acceptance is in our selves. The rest will follow, I live in a rural town and find that my everyday tasked enfem are met with politeness and curiousity my quest is to present, not necessarily pass. Because presenting promotes though, passing goes unrecognized.
DeleteHolly,
DeleteThanks for chipping away at two inaccurate premises. First is the concept of blending rather than passing. While passing may be the holy grail I find that blending as a T or CD person will serve to promote acceptance and communal growth. If you pass it is like the stone in the water did not even create a ripple.
The second premise is that rural or traditional or conservative venues are less tolerant of Ts and CDs than urban or liberal or progressive venues. You can find plenty of good people wherever you look, people of character, people of tolerance. You can find creeps, criminals, haters and bigots in urban and progressive areas.
Your ability to handle your daily tasks while dressed is a wonderful message to hear. Keep on keeping on.
Pat
There are such great perspectives in this thread!
DeleteAround the area where I work I see people that present very well, and I see those that dress as a women but aren't doing much as far as above the shoulder goes. At most they put on a little make-up. But there hair is usually natural and short, more like a guy would wear it.
I have a lot of respect and admiration for the latter (not that I don't for the former too mind you!) for they are not trying to blend in which to me seems very scary. That seems to be such a brave thing to me. They must be completely comfortable and secure to be able to do that.
I want that confidence too one day. It would be a great day to be able to go out in an androgynous, or mildly female-leaning look and be comfortable that way.
That's a great ideal for email issues!. I'd outed myself answering my front door. Practicing putting on my face got distracted by a text messages and forgot ... getting comfortable with it. FedEx deliver guy dropping off a package needing a signature, I answered the door. I noticed a strange look from him and after closing the door with package...saw what he was looking at in the mirror!
ReplyDelete