"The second was a transwoman en femme. I assume she was post-op, but you never know. She gave no indication that she read my blog, so she didn’t know me from Adam (or Eve). She just happened by our booth and engaged me in a long discussion about what our group had to offer."
Of course, I made note of her name and call sign as displayed on the convention badge she was wearing. The badge had a female first name.
Curious, I later checked her out on the Internet. The FCC database had her license under a male first name. Most of the other references on the Internet referred to her using her male first name, while a few references used her female first name.
(Sounds like someone I know!)
If I had known that when I talked with her, I might have broached the subject of gender. Maybe I will encounter her at a future ham radio event and bring up the subject then especially if I am also en femme.
A contestant at a 2009 Relay for Life womanless beauty pageant.
Stana, While I know what I'm about to write doesn't quite describe your experience- I just don't know why it is, but on the very few occasions when I have met another trans person, for whatever reason, I never seem to bring up "the elephant in the room" wearing a dress.
ReplyDeleteAt least you have her name Stana! Most of my acquaintances are just like we were "passing" in the night...no pun intended! I never see them again (:
In general, I avoid the elephant, but in this case, we have so much in common that I would like to break the ice and learn more about her.
DeleteStana, It looks like this transwoman would be a candidate to be a regular Femulate follower.
ReplyDeleteStana and Cyrsti, I think that those of us connected in some fashion to the T community are sensitive and mindful of privacy and intrusion issues to a very high degree...especially in those circumstances where one of us is straddling the line with the civilian population. We will always afford others the respect and dignity that we would want to be afforded even if we are anxious to communicate on a T to T basis.
For example, the other night I stopped by Triangles. There was another T girl there and I sat at the bar right near her. I had seen her there on one other occasion. For about an hour she kept to herself talking with others at the bar while I did the same in just engaging in chat with the bartender and a few others.
As the bar flow evolved we did end up talking to each other but while there was a friendly camaraderie there was also a lot of respect about not getting into personal or private details. As she left for the evening I complimenter her on her dress and shoes. She blushed and thanked me for the compliment. That was a rather girl to girl moment.
Pat
Like I commented to Cyrsti above, in general, I avoid the elephant, but in this case, we have so much in common that I would like to break the ice and learn more about her.
DeleteHaving never been in such an intimate situation such as a bar (I don't drink), or the business environment of a trade show fully en-femme, I haven't had to converse with other T-girls about other than "general pleasantries." I'm really not sure how comfortable I'd be talking spontaneously with another T-sister. But I think that under the right circumstances (both of us fully en-femme), I'd be OK with it. One of these days, it may happen, so I'll get a chance to see how well I deal with it!
ReplyDeleteAs for seeing sisters while in more-or-less androgynous mode, it's happened twice. One (presumed) T-girl was staff at a railroad museum in Maine. Neither she nor I spoke about anything "other than business" - i.e. museum generalities. I plan to post more about this chance meeting in the next couple days, on my blog (mandysherman@blogspot.com). So no more here...
It happened one other time, about 6 years ago at a railroadiana antiquities show. I was rifling through an artist's framed artwork. When I looked up, an androgynous-looking person was standing next to me, with a gorgeous set of long, fire-engine-red fingernails. Whether she targeted me and parked herself there to discuss something, or not, will never be known. She never spoke, never looked up at me...
Unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately), I simultaneously noticed that my wife was coming up the aisle toward "us" and didn't think it would be particularly appropriate for me to be engaged in any kind of discussion with a stranger about her fingernails. So my wife and I moved on to the next display, and a minute or so later, when I looked back over at the artwork display, she was gone. She had completely disappeared, and we didn't see her the rest of our visit. Go figure...
Isn't life fun?
Mandy
Coincidentally, I have three transwomen friends who are involved with railroads. Two work in rail museums (one in Connecticut, the other in Illinois) and the third is a railroad engineer in Massachusetts all the live long day.
DeleteWhen I was boarding the ferry from Fire Island to Long Island, there was a woman who was getting off the boat who definitely was a member of the tribe.
ReplyDeleteIt is a small world after all.