Femulate: One Person's Journey to Womanhood

By Monica M

On a vacation to London in 2005, I finally plucked up courage to go and have a professional makeover. My desire to be Monica (I had the name by then; how I decided on this name has, however, been lost in the mists of time) had increased steadily since the turn of the century. As my testosterone started to run out, I more and more wanted to spend time as the woman I knew I should have been.

I chose two salons for my photoshoot: The Boudoir and Pandora de Pledge. Pandora is no longer with us unfortunately.

By this time, I had a small female wardrobe, but I still had not really tried makeup, I did not have a wig and I had never been out!

To the right is the first picture ever of me dressed.

I was the only customer at The Boudoir that day there and a very nice chap spent about an hour putting on the makeup and explaining it all to me. Even as he was doing it, I thought there is no way I am going to remember all this and sure enough, I was correct.

He chose a number of other outfits for me and photographed me in various poses. Looking back now, I definitely look more of a “guy in a dress” than a woman. However, it was another step on way. Success is built in small steps.

The following are some of the other photos from that day.

My next stop, a few days later, was the famous Pandora de Pledge.

One of her assistants did the makeover. He had me sit facing away from the mirror and then when he had finished the makeup and put the wig on me, he turned me around to see myself in the mirror. I nearly cried. It was the first time I really did see the woman in me.

However, there was one embarrassing incident. They had in a second client while I was there. I was so nervous in those days that I was really angry, though I did not say anything. What if that person was somebody who knew me! I did not think about the fact that it was probably equally embarrassing for him!