Dressed Fashionably

The weather during my vacation was fantastic: no rain, lots of sun and temperatures in the low to mid-70s during the day, cooling off in the evening for perfect sleeping conditions. The weather man predicted more of the same for my Monday outing en femme.

Do I dress for fall or do I dress for summer?

I had put together an outfit for each season, but since I have three months ahead of me to dress for fall, I decided to go with the summer outfit: white shorts (JCPenney), multi-colored top (DressBarn), pink scarf (Avon), black bag (JCPenney) and white wedges (Payless), which are the most comfortable women's shoe I have ever owned. My jewelry consisted of black and silver earrings (Napier), black watch (Avon) and Pandora knock-off charm bracelet (Avon).

The outfit was basically the same one I wore on Thursday of Hamvention week. The difference was that back in May, the only people who saw me in that outfit were the folks I encountered in my hotel and at a gas station somewhere in Ohio. Monday, I would be seen by a lot more people at the mall and at the casino. And so it went.

Since I am breaking in a new hairdo, after I did my makeup and got dressed I spent a lot of time working with my hair trying to get it just so. After a lot of combing and spraying, I was happy with my new do, so I grabbed my purse and hit the road.

Twenty minutes later, I parked my car at the Macy's entrance of West Farms Mall. I received immediate affirmation as I entered Macy's as two female sales reps smiled and greeted me.

An aside: it is so pleasant to walk through the mall, make eye contact and exchange smiles (and sometimes greetings) with other women shopping or working in the mall.

My shopping goal was to buy a blazer. I knew it would be a difficult goal to achieve because I have long arms (my sleeve's not too short – my arms are too long!) I searched through Macy's and JCPenney and found blazers that fit my torso, but none that fit my arms (not even close). So I failed to achieve my goal.

While I was at it, I tried on some skirts in Macy's and JCPenney. I fell in love with a red flirty skirt in Macy's that was a perfect fit, but its $70 price tag kept my wallet at bay.

As I was looking through the racks at JCPenney, a middle-aged African-American woman (probably younger than me) approached me and asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

I had no idea what she was going to ask ("What time is it?" "Where did you buy your shoes?" "Are you a tranny?"). I girded my loins, smiled and agreed to answer her question.

"You're dressed fashionably, so I'd like your opinion about a pair of slacks I was thinking about buying."

Wow! I certainly did not see that coming!

We discussed the merits of the slacks. I did not like what she had picked out and suggested something with a bolder pattern. She admitted that she really did not like what she had picked out and liked my suggestion better.

I pointed out a skirt with a pattern similar to what I had in mind and her eyes lit up as she said, "I saw slacks with that pattern. Now I just have to find them again! Thank-you for your help."

"Good luck," I said.

Then I took a deep breath.

“Oh, my God!” I screamed to myself.

 

Actor Aaron Paul (center) femulating as Breaking Bad’s Jane.

 

 

 

Wearing Robert Rodriguez.