Woman of Manners

Today, I carry on answering the questions and responding to the suggestions readers sent me after my call for topics that readers would like me to write about or expand upon.

Leann wrote, "One of the challenges of going out en femme and blending in as best we can, is to adopt feminine mannerisms. If you are aiming to use your fine examples of going out and about, maybe a word about re-socializing your self to the feminine might be useful."

I have feminine mannerisms in boy mode, which got me trouble with non-feminine males in my youth and beyond. My feminine mannerisms were not something I put on. My mother raised me, while my father was absent much of the time I was growing up (Dad worked two jobs and as much overtime as possible to make ends meet). Lacking a male model, I took after my mother in a lot of ways, so when I began femulating, my feminine mannerisms fit perfectly.

My most prominent feminine mannerisms were the way I walked, talked, and gestured.

I walked like a girl, which explains why I had no trouble walking in high heels from the get-go. After my mother's frequent comments that I walked like a girl ("I walk the way you taught me, Mom"), I had to learn how to walk like a boy, but I never forgot how to walk like a girl.

I also talked like a girl. I am very soft-spoken. I use words and phrases in ways that are typically female. And when I talk, I gesture with my hands in a very feminine manner often touching the other person I am conversing with. (That last one really freaks me out when I am in boy mode and touch somebody. I do it unconsciously and after I do it, I worry about a negative reaction from the other person, but so far I have been lucky and no one has called me on it.)

So I had all those things going for me as a budding femulator. On the other hand...

Although I walked like a woman, I did not move like a woman. I had to learn how to lower my center of gravity and to glide rather than stomp and to swing my arms gently rather than having stiff arms when I walked.   

Although I talked like a woman, I did not sound like a woman and I had to work on my voice as I explained on Monday.

My hand gestures were right on, but I had to learn other mannerisms, for example, to sit like a woman, to smooth my skirt under my tush when I sat down, to keep my knees together while sitting, to tilt my head slightly, etc.

Practice makes perfect and some of the mannerisms I had to learn are natural to me now, whereas some others I have to consciously think about.