When I started going out en femme, I avoided eye contact by wearing dark sunglasses... indoors!
I recall wearing dark sunglasses while shopping in a strip mall with another more experienced T-girlfriend. When we left the store, my girlfriend told me to ditch the sunglasses because everyone in the store was looking at me. Next store sans sunglasses, my girlfriend reported that I blended in better and she did not notice anyone looking at me.
So I stopped wearing sunglasses indoors, but I made a great effort to avoid eye contact.
The problem is that it is difficult to avoid making eye contact. Even if you make a concerted effort to avoid eye contact, you will find yourself inadvertently catching someone's eye. When this occurs, you may avert your eyes, but that is a mistake because the other person is going to notice your eye aversion and may wonder what's going on. They may take a closer look at you and try to figure out why you averted your eyes and while they are taking a closer look, they may discover clues that give away the fact that you are femulating.
That happened to me a number of times. I inadvertently made eye contact, quickly averted my eyes and then noticed the other person checking me out from head to toe.
I learned my lesson. Instead of avoiding eye contact, I now make eye contact. And I do it with a smile. Most times, the other person will return the smile and even say, "Hello."
They assume that I am just another woman out and about because my mannerisms are not giving them any clues that will make them suspicious. Sure, my Amazonian appearance may give them clues, but at least I am not giving myself away with my mannerisms.
Next time you are out en femme, make eye contact and see how it works for you.
It's all part of being confident, act naturaly as any other woman would and all people will see is another woman, OK sure a tall one but there are more and more of us out there
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this hugely important aspect of our femulation into the world around us. I honestly believe that it's not just a common politeness to make eye contact while smiling, it's a natural defense/safety mechanism/instinct. We do this unconsciously to tell friend or foe. Like you, I learned a while ago that "connecting" on an unconscious level is the first step in presenting. Once that "Look/Smile/Hello" has been established, it almost doesn't matter if it is noticed that there is something askew with your gender, you will have been perceived as a non threat. Besides, there always more possibility in and much more wonderful to, pass out smiles then it is turn or hide in fear.
ReplyDeleteI have learned to give a big smile and a small hello when I make eye contact (as well). The smiles and hellos in return are great.
ReplyDeleteJoan
Excellent!!! You are so right and you are depriving yourself of chances to experience people who are curious and want to know you a little.
ReplyDeleteIt also makes you come off sometimes as a "Bi**h.
Great post!
I agree, Stana! The best way I avoid being "made" is to not avoid eye contact.
ReplyDeleteThis is all down to confidence. If you act natural then there won't be much to pick up on. I started to pass a lot more when I stopped caring what other people thought and just "carried on as normal" :)
ReplyDelete