My wife and I seldom discuss my transgender. I never bring up the subject because whenever I attempted to do so in the past, my wife said she knew enough and did not want to discuss it further.
Today, she mentioned that she was tired of people giving Chaz Bono a hard time. She said he was born that way; no one would choose the hard way of life of a transgender voluntarily, so leave him be.
Then she said, "Just like you were born that way."
I guess that means she gets it.
How wonderful she now understands! I hope her tolerance will also expand...
ReplyDeletedeborah
When my wife understood, she said that she had to ask herself if she was happy with me as a human being and came to the conclusion that gender was not the primary function of her love for me. I am happy for you, this is a big step forward.
ReplyDeleteIt can take a long time, and a lot of love for our wifes to accept that they have married more than the man of thier dreams. I am glad that your wife is coming round, I am encouraged and hope that my wife too will begin to accept and understand. It must be a long and difficult journey for them and we need to be gentle.
ReplyDeleteSpousal surprises are nice. Too bad they seem rare.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful! I'm so happy for you!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a good thing for your wife to say.
ReplyDeleteMy best to both of you.
It was a lovely thing for your wife to say to you. At times, we need to remember that our choices don't just effect us, but those we love and respect more than anything or anyone in the world. It must be so hard for a woman to come to terms with the fact that her man yearns to defy convention and dare to express his femininity and we always need to bear that in mind. It's not just about us girls.
ReplyDeleteI have to go along with CallMeMeg, approval of any kind seems rare. I'm glad for you!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's the Lady Gaga effect": "born this way"?
ReplyDeletedeborah
As a wife of a cross dresser I often feel that I have a third party in the relationship. I have to deal with the other woman. During intimate moments this can cause some serious homophobic moments for me. I hope that your other have doesn't have Lesbian tendancies because maybe one day she might want a real woman and leave!
ReplyDeleteYour wife's enlightened comment shows that indeed, "she gets it." Even more important, she is telling you that her respect and love for you transcend your personal foible of crossdressing, which for many wives is not a foible but a major hurdle to overcome.
ReplyDeleteThere is a wonderful, candid, blunt exposition of the tensions, challenges and more-or-less successful resolution in a relationship between a wife and a crossdressing husband who actually proceeds to full transition, in the book "She's Not There, A Life in Two Genders" by Jennifer Finney Boylan. Writing her personal memoir with wit and insight, Boylan discloses that it is not easy, especially for the wife, and even an enlightened wife with the best intentions. But Jennifer Boylan and her wife, now as live-in girlfriends, are still together with their two children.