Toe Update

I went to the podiatrist today for a follow-up appointment regarding my toe problem.

After I described the positive effects of the steroid shot he gave me two weeks ago, he said he was not going to give me another shot. Instead, he prescribed Voltaren, an ointment to rub on my toe to alleviate any pain.

He said see how it goes after four weeks and get back to him then if I am still hurting. He expects that my toe problem will be gone by then.

He added that in the meantime, I should avoid climbing ladders and kneeling. That's OK by me.

Suits Me Fine

My best female friend at work really put herself together nicely yesterday.

She wore a (new to me) brown suit (jacket and pencil skirt that skimmed the top of her knees), a pretty dark red satin V-neck blouse, and a pair of suede high heel pumps covered with patches in different shades of brown.

I could not contain myself and told her she looked "great." Then I added, "When you dress like that, I want to dress like that." (In truth, I want to dress like that no matter how she dresses, but she is an inspiration to me.)

She was very flattered.

I also remarked, "I love your shoes."

Having discussed the good, the bad, and the ugly of women's shoes in the past, she mentioned that her shoes were very comfortable.

I replied that's icing on the cake (or something like that).

My friend is on the employee activities committee, so I asked her if the committee had any plans for Halloween this year.

She said they had no plans so far.

I told her that I wanted to come dressed en femme on Halloween and I planned to do so whether the company celebrated the holiday or not.

She encouraged me to do so and added that she did not think anyone would give me a problem.

I replied that nothing would bother me and that I would find out who my friends were.

Then she suggested that I submit a suggestion to the activities committee to celebrate Halloween.

The first thing I did when I returned to my desk was to write that suggestion and e-mail it to her to share with the committee.

Whether there is a Halloween celebration or not, I have now made up my mind that I will attend work en femme on October 31.

And, by the way, she preferred the business woman costume idea over the airline stewardess costume idea.

"A woman is not complete without aching feet."

"A woman is not complete without aching feet" is a line from the film To Die Like A Man and is spoken by one of the transgender characters as she slips on a pair of high heel pumps.

(So, now I know I am not alone regarding aching high heeled feet!)

To Die Like A Man is a 2009 film from Portugal that is now available in the US on DVD with English subtitles.

It is a very dark film and it will not make your day.

Here is the foreboding storyline from IMDB: A transvestite tries to erase any past history of herself as a male. She dies tragically before this is accomplished and her male identity is engraved on her headstone.

Here is Wikipedia's take on the film: It tells the story of a homosexual drag-queen at the end of his [sic] career. The cast includes several Portuguese real-life drag-queens, with no previous, or little, acting experience. The story has been allegedly inspired by the real story of Joaquim Centúrio de Almeida (artistic name: Ruth Bryden), a Portuguese drag-queen, and has motivated a lawsuit on account of plagiarism of a biographical book on the life of Almeida by the late author Carlos Castro, who was murdered in 2011.

I started watching the film as hurricane/tropical storm Irene crashed around my head on Sunday. Maybe the storm outside was too distracting or maybe the film was too bleak for this girl, but whatever the reason, I did not watch it all. Instead, I skimmed through the DVD watching scenes that I thought might be interesting; some were, some were not.

I have to watch the film from beginning to end in order to give it a fair shake. For now, I just wanted to let you all know about its existence.

Lucky

Irene Dunn

I was lucky with regards to hurricane Irene, which was downgraded to "tropical storm" status by the time it got here.

We had 3-3/4-inches of rain and wind speeds as high as 43 MPH. Lots of small branches fell in my yard, as well as one huge branch that I had to ax in half before I could haul it into the woods.

My guyed 55-foot antenna tower survived the onslaught and miracles of miracles, we never lost power, which is saying something considering the record number of outages in this neck of the woods due to Irene.

Out At Last

My toe is on the mend and in ten more days, I hope it is well enough so I can wear woman's shoes and go out en femme.

As I mentioned in the past, I am an "Avon lady" and next month, Avon is touring the USA with its "Come Home for the Holidays 2011" show to acquaint us Avon representatives with new products to sell during the holidays.

Besides a preview of new products, each attendee receives a $50 gift bag and has ban opportunity to have fun and network with sister representatives and managers.

The venue for my Avon district's show is the Mohegan Sun casino, which has some great restaurants where I can lunch with the girls, as well as slot machines where I might win some or lose some.

I have networked with other Avon ladies on only one other occasion: at an Avon rep Christmas party in 2006 (you can read all about it here). Except for the fact that I was way overdressed for that event, it went very well; the other Avon ladies in attendance treated me as one of them and I had a wonderful time.

So I expect to have another wonderful time en femme real soon now.

Comments

"My name is Stana."

I received an e-mail yesterday afternoon from a reader who posted a comment earlier in the day, but wondered if she had done something wrong because her comment had not appeared on the blog.

I work Monday through Friday, 7 AM to 4 PM (more or less), and my workplace filters Internet content (in a willy-nilly fashion). As a result, I cannot access the comment moderation function to approve/disapprove comments posted during the work day.

Only after I get home and get on my home computer, can I moderate your comments. So, if your weekday comments do not appear right after you post them, now you know why.

Speaking of comments, after reading your comments regarding my Halloween costume plans, I am reconsidering. I still plan to go to work en femme, but now I am considering office wear again dressing as a "highly successful business woman in the power skirt suit, heels, etc.," as Jaye Anne suggested.

That costume choice would be easy as I already have all the fixings to put that costume together. On the other hand, a stewardess cap and wings can quickly convert office wear into flight attendant wear, so I have not ruled out "coffee, tea, or me" yet.

No matter what I wear, anyone at work who wondered about my gender after seeing my previous two "office girl" costumes will have no doubt where my gender is after October 31. And so be it; it could break ground for a transition at work.

Meanwhile, I battened down the hatches last night and await the arrival of Hurricane Irene.

We are in the cross-hairs of the predicted path of the storm and when it hits us on Sunday, we may lose power. If that occurs, Femulate will be on hiatus until power returns (although my computer is battery-powered, my Wi-Fi is not).

And so it goes.

Monday Back-to-Work Drag

This year, Halloween falls on a Monday.

There may or may not be anything "official" going on at work Halloween-wise, but I plan to go to work en femme.

I've done it twice before when my workplace had official Halloween function. (You can read about that here and here.)

In the past, I often considered dressing en femme for Halloween when there was no official Halloween functions, but I chickened out each time. This year, I am not going to chicken out. I just have to decide what to wear.

I've done "office girl drag" twice, so I want to wear something different instead.

I still have all the parts of my last Halloween costume, a roaring '20's flapper, so that's a possibility. Or I can go for something completely different.

I always fancied wearing an airline stewardess uniform, but all the stewardess costumes I have found for sale are slutty and not authentic. I thought about building my own stewardess uniform. The only difficult items to obtain are the stewardess hat and wings. Reproduction hats are available, but I have not been able to locate reproduction wings.

Other costume possibilities that have come to mind are:

• Jersey Shore girl
• Call girl
• Goth girl
• Beauty queen

If you all have any other suggestions, please leave a Comment below.

Like Father, Like Son/Daughter

What I Thought

I found this quote by feminist Susan Brownmiller, “Women are all female impersonators to some degree. “

That quote is dangerous because it got me thinking. After thinking, I wondered if it mean what I think it means…

That females have to consciously act femme in order to fit into the gender role that society specifies. And so it goes that males have to consciously act butch in order to fit into the "male" gender role.

Admittedly, over time, females and males become so acclimated to acting femme or butch that they do so automatically without a conscious effort. Nevertheless, if they chose not to consciously act femme or butch, would they end up somewhere in-between femme and butch? And is that in-between state actually their natural gender?

Meanwhile, some people are naturally inclined to be feminine and some masculine.

Everything is hunky dory if a female-bodied person is naturally feminine and a male-bodied person is naturally masculine.

The "problem" occurs when a female-bodied person is naturally masculine or when a male-bodied person is naturally feminine (like me). To meet society’s specifications for female-bodied and male-bodied persons, the problem people must become male or female impersonators to one degree or another.

If they reject society's specifications and embrace their natural gender, they will likely have a difficult time in society. To fix their gender incongruity, they may live their lives as female-bodied men or male-bodied women or they may change their bodies to match their natural gender.

Anyway, that's what I thought.

It’s Not Her Bag

All for Naught... Maybe

Last week, I found three dresses for sale online that I liked, but I could not decide which looked best on me even after Photoshopping my head onto each garment. So I asked you all for your opinion (thank you again for your comments) and I got my answer.

With my answer in hand, I was ready to order. So, I warmed up my credit card, got online, and got on the website selling the dresses only to discover that the dresses were no longer for sale!

I had found the dresses on ideeli, which sells a variety of items including designer apparel at close-out prices. The catch is that their sales occur over a limited amount of time and the sale for the dresses I wanted had already ended by the time I was ready to order!

On weekends, ideeli often reruns items that did not sell in previous sales. So there is a chance that the dresses I want will show up there and if they do, I will pounce on the ones I want.

You Picked The Best Dress

Thank you for all your comments regarding which dress looks best.

Dress #2 is the clear winner with about twice the votes that dresses #1 and #3 each received; dresses #1 and #3 are in a virtual tie.

After reading all your comments, I am considering the purchase of either dress #2 or #3 or both.

The Best Dress

Click on the image to enlarge it.

I like three dresses for sale online, but I cannot decide which one to buy. Since I cannot try them on before purchasing, I used Photoshop to try them on virtually, but I still cannot make up my mind. So girls, I'd love your opinion on this matter; which dress looks best on me? (Please leave a comment below or e-mail me your choice.)

And here is the description of each dress to help you decide:

1. Charcoal Tulip Hem Front Ribbed Dress --- Sweater dress, long sleeves with banded rib cuffs, oversized rib turtleneck, ribbed panel along center front bodice, curved front tulip style hem with ribbing, pullover style, sleeve length 25", shoulder to hem 40.5"

2. Stripe A-Line Ribbed Dress --- A-line ribbed sweater dress, scoop neckline and three-quarter sleeves, striped detail on bell cuffs and lower bodice, flared skirting with pleats, pullover style, sleeve length 20", shoulder to hem 43"

3. Ponte Sequins Trim Dress --- Ponte knit dress, half sleeves and round neck, sequined trim around neckline, hidden back zipper closure, sleeve length 11", shoulder to hem 37"

menswomenswear

Have you noticed this trend: feminine male models (above left) and masculine female models (above right) modeling womenswear alongside the typical feminine female models.

To whom are fashion designers trying to sell? Of course, they are trying to sell womenswear to women, but are they also trying to sell womenswear to men?

Are they using feminine male models to convince pretty boys that it is ok to wear womenswear? And are they using masculine female models to convince manly boys that it is ok to wear womanswear, too?

Is this just wishful thinking on my part?

Well, according to this article, the Mademe clothing brand has taken "a big leap with new womenswear for men."

Visit their online store and you will find that it "is genderless, with no department captioned for women or men."

Is this the beginning of the end of gendered clothing sales? Someday, you may walk into Macy's and discover that the "women's" and "men's" departments have been merged into an "adult" department where racks of trousers hang next to racks of dresses for both her and his shopping pleasure. 

By the way, it comes as no surprise that feminine male model, Andrej Pejic, is the face of Mademe's line of men's womenswear (or "menswomenswear").

Mad Femulation: Mission: Ridiculous

I am relieved today. My mystery toe problem is no longer a mystery and hopefully will be returning to normal soon and my daughter received a clean bill of health regarding a potential problem we were concerned about. So I am celebrating my good news with another femulation from Mad magazine.

Since actress Barbara Bain just joined my Famous Females of Height List, it is apropos that today's Mad Femulation is from the magazine's parody of the television show she starred in, Mission: Impossible. Titled "Mission: Ridiculous," it comes from the April 1968 issue (#118) of Mad (artist: Mort Drucker, writer: Dick De Bartolo).

Just to clarify the references in this clipping, "Synonym" refers to "Cinnamon," the TV show's lead female character, who was portrayed by Barbara Bain and "Billy" refers to "Willy," who was played by Peter Lupus.

Back in Heels Soon

X-rays showed no fractures in my ailing toe, so my doctor referred me to a podiatrist.

I saw the podiatrist this morning and his diagnosis was that I had a neuroma, a swollen nerve between my third and fourth toes. He said we caught it early enough so that one or two shots of cortisone should fix the problem.

He gave me a shot and I go back in two weeks to see if I need another.

My toe already feels better and I am looking forward to wearing high heels real soon now.

My Overnight Dream

The memory of a dream I had overnight is fading fast.

I was dressed en femme for an event that some of my co-workers were attending. I encountered a male friend from work and he was not comfortable with my presentation. He remarked to someone about how nice I looked, but he could not look at me and seemed very uncomfortable.

Then I woke up.

(FYI, I seldom remember my dreams. The few that I do remember are usually femulation-related.)

Life as We Know It

Katherine Heigl in Life as We Know It

I watched Life as We Know It on HBO over the weekend. It starred Katherine Heigl and she looked fabulous in the film. What she wore and how she wore it made this little femulator wish she was in Miss Heigl's high heel shoes.

The film was amusing, but is not a great comedy (like His Girl Friday, which I watched last night). I will never watch Life as We Know again except maybe to catch another glimpse of Miss Heigl.

Warning: Life as We Know is a chick flick. I like chick flicks, but I know some people do not, so you have been forewarned.

Warning: Life as We Know contains a reference to "tranny hookers." If you are offended by such references, you have been forewarned.

I See Tall People

Barbara Bain

Trying to get back in the groove again, Jackson, after a 10-day vacation. So I will start off with a bevy of beauties that are new additions to the Famous Females of Height List.

5'8" – Cindy Ambuehl – actress – television, Seinfeld ("The Burning"); JAG

5'9" – Mo Collins – actress – television, Parks & Recreation, film, The 40 Year Old Virgin, in which Collins plays a butch, but attractive young lady who is making a change from her previously lesbian sexual orientation. She explains to Andy (played by Steve Carell) that he has feminine features, and if he would just "tuck his sack back" it would make the transition back into heterosexuality, an easy one.

5'9" – Barbara Bain – actress – television, Mission: Impossible; Space 1999

5'9" – Allison Smith – actress – television, The West Wing

5'11" – Keli Goff – political commentator, The Huffington Post - source: Elaine Armen

6'5" – Heather Green – celebrity – source: Lotsa Green

6'7" – Asley Adair – celebrity – source: Lotsa Green

United We Succeed, Divided We Fail

Author Jennifer Finney Boylan wrote an op-ed in The New York Times Thursday that IMHO is must-reading for girls like us.

Here is the link; thank you, Alicia, for sending it to me.

By the way, make sure to read the comments, too.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Yesterday, I went to the doctor. She thinks I broke my toe back in April and it did not heal correctly.

Today, I went to the out-patient lab of the local hospital to get X-rays of my toe. I also had bloodwork done, in case something else more dastardly is causing my toe problem.

If the doctor's prognosis is correct, I will go to a podiatrist, who may have to break my toe to fix it right.

Ouch!

Vacation

I am on vacation this week, so I have fallen behind updating this blog and answering my e-mails.

I promise to catch up as soon as I return to the planet Earth.

Dear Stana: Differentiate "femulate" and "crossdress"

Dear Stana,

I'm very curious at the the distinction between "femulate" and "crossdress" or any other permutation of gender dysphoria.

Miss Gina

Hi Gina,

When I started my blog back in February 2007, I needed a name for it and created the word "femulate" out of thin air. I defined "femulate" as "to imitate, copy, or try to be like a female."

"Femulate" fine tunes the term "crossdress." Whereas "crossdress" refers to anyone who dons clothing not normally associated with their birth gender, "femulate" refers to those of us who go out in public and make a great effort to look, move, speak, and act as a female, with the ultimate goal of passing or at least being tolerated because we are trying our best to emulate females, not be female characatures.

Best Wishes,

Stana

Need advice concerning femulation, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Femulate on the Net Today

New Femulate-related items on the Internet this morning:

A first person account, "Goodbye Husband, Hello Wife," in the Boston Globe, written by a woman whose marriage survived her husband's transition.

Experience Project recounts, "I want to femulate you or be femulated" stories.

The trailer for the new German "Tootsie" film, Rubbeldiekatz, submitted by Anonymous (screen capture above).

Dancing Femulators

This video features three femulators from the Fusion Dance Company performing Single Ladies at the Northwestern University Drag Show in 2009. IMHO, they are excellent.

Sky Full of Holes

Just downloaded Fountains of Wayne's new album Sky Full of Holes from eMusic and I'm groovin' to the tunes, man!

Mad Femulation

I began reading Mad in 1960; issue number 55 to be exact. I quickly became a "Mad Addict" and received an education from "The Usual Gang of Idiots" that produced the magazine.

Once in a great while, Mad contained a transgender reference (their earliest transgender references actually predated the invention of the word "transgender" --- Hoo-Hah!).

As a budding boy/girl back then, I noticed every trans reference that appeared in my favorite magazine and filed each one away in the back of my mind.

For your amusement, I will dredge up these instances from my memory and present them here on occasion. This is the first occasion.

This week, "Spy Vs. Spy" by Antonio Prohias celebrated its 50th anniversary appearing in Mad magazine, so it is appropriate that our Mad Femulation is an early "Spy Vs. Spy" from April 1961, Mad issue #62 ("Spy Vs. Spy" debuted in issue #60).

(Click on the image for a bigger laugh!)

Christopher Morley Writes

In May 2008, I wrote about actor Christopher Morley, "who femulated in films, television shows, and even the pages of Playboy during the last half of the last century. Morley passed and definitely was not a guy in a dress like some of the femulators you see in films and on television. He was thin, pretty, and had one of the best femulated voices I have ever heard."

In a follow-up blog post, we wondered what had become of Christopher Morley. I researched the matter and could not find anything recent; Morley's last known appearance (according to IMDB) was on an episode of the TV series Roseanne in December 1995."

On Tuesday, out of the blue, I received an e-mail from Christopher Morley!

He wrote how he had never heard of the expression "femulate" before and that he loved it adding that femulate was "so much more accurate than 'female impersonator,'" which he never cared for and "drag queen," which he loathed.

He also e-mailed me his publicity photo (above) from the 1980s when he was a celebrity illusionist at the at the La Cage aux Follies supper club in Los Angeles.

Needless to say, I was flabbergasted to receive an e-mail from a celebrity, especially one who inspired me to femulate and actualize the woman I am today.

Man Becomes Woman Photo Shoot

Sissy e-mailed me about a website featuring "incredible makeovers and photo shoots."

I clicked over to the link that Sissy sent and found a webpage displaying a slideshow of photos of gorgeous women. The language on the page was Dutch, so I was clueless and my first thought was that the page was featuring female makeovers.

But as I viewed the slideshow, I noticed some of the slides included small monochrome photos of males labeled "Voor:" Did "voor" mean "before" as in "before and after"?

Then I noticed a British flag icon; clicking on it translated the page into English and, voila!, it revealed I was viewing the "Man becomes woman photo shoot."

Wow! I've seen similar websites before, but this was one of the better ones. The makeup artist and photographer do an excellent job.

Only two problems: their studio, Holland Fotostudio, is in The Netherlands (in a suburb of Rotterdam) and their basic makeover and photo shoot costs $566 (in US dollars). Wow!

But, it does not cost anything to look, so here is the link to the website.

Makeup Mistakes That Can Drag You Down

"Pay attention, ladies. Makeup is supposed to help your appearance, not ruin it! Even celebrities are guilty of goofing this up. From obvious concealer (listening, Demi Lovato?) and clumpy lashes, to overplucked brows and goopy lipgloss, find out how to fix 10 common makeup mistakes."

I dunno about you, but I have made some of these mistakes and maybe you have done so, too Read all about what to avoid here on DailyMakeover.

I'm Hurting

I fell to my knees when I stepped into a pothole back in April. One knee was bloodied, bruised, and hurt climbing stairs for weeks afterwords, but it has finally mended and no longer pains me.

I also stubbed the fourth toe on my left foot during the fall. It did not bother me much until I spent a weekend in June standing on a ladder while hanging gutters at my house. It hurt like heck after standing on the ladder and it has been bothering me off and on ever since.

I can go days without it bothering me, which tricked me into thinking that it was mending. Then I do something that sets it off and I am back to square one.

The "something" that seems to set it off is driving my car, which has a standard transmission. Frequent clutching brings on the pain.

It flared up again Saturday after driving around town running errands half the day, so I finally decided to seek medical advice and will make an appointment today with a doctor.

My toe problem has put the kabosh on wearing high heels and even flats. I have been going barefoot whenever I can and if I have to resort to footwear, I have been wearing sneakers.

And so it goes!