I have always been feminine. I was a feminine boy, a feminine teenager, and a feminine adult (and I have the scars to prove it).
My wife fell in love with me, a feminine man. She never tried to change me while we were dating, nor during our 30 years of marriage.
Early in our relationship, she encouraged my dressing en femme. She bought me "pink" gifts and suggested I find and join a support group. I flourished as a woman because of my wife.
My wife has a debilitating disease. The disease inflicted her years before we met and I was aware of it going into our marriage.
Over the years, the disease has taken a toll on my wife. As her condition worsened, she became less supportive of my dressing en femme; as her health issues become more burdensome, she wanted to be free of the burden of my transgender issues.
Today, she accepts my need to express my transgenderness by dressing en femme, but she is not happy about it. As a result, I do not dress en femme as often as I would like. I do the best that I can under the circumstances.
I often wonder where I'd be today if her support and encouragement had continued.
On a related note concerning yesterday's post, my desire to "transition" is nothing new. I have felt that way for a few years now, that is, the desire to live 24/7 as a woman.
And my version of "transition" does not involve hormones or surgery; electrolysis would be the only intrusion I would allow to make my body more feminine.
My transition would simply be a matter of replacing my male wardrobe with a female wardrobe and living my life as the woman I was meant to be.
And so it goes.
"My transition would simply be a matter of replacing my male wardrobe with a female wardrobe and living my life as the woman I was meant to be." As to transition I say go for it and be happy Stana, I'm the same way but never had the freedom and support you have had, I'm sorry to hear of your wifes health problems and I wish luck.
ReplyDeleteStana,
ReplyDeleteYou know I tend to follow your blog and I have commented in the past about my admiration of your talent as a writer. Sometimes, however, you make a comment or state a situation that is truly a gem. The following says volumes.
"Today she accepts my need to express my transgenderness by dressing en femme but she is not happy about it. As a result, I do not dress en femme as often as I would like. I do the best that I canunder the circumstances."
In all endeavors it is important to just do the best you can under the circumstances. We cannot let the 'pink fog' lead us to fool's paradise. We need a blend of reality as we deal with our lives, our families, our jobs and our gender issues.
Thank you again for sharing your life and your talents with the rest of us.
Pat