Reaching Out En Femme

What's "outreach?"

According to Wikipedia, "outreach is an effort by an organization or group to connect its ideas or practices to the efforts of other organizations, groups, specific audiences or the general public. Unlike marketing, outreach does not inherently revolve around a product or strategies to increase market share. Typically non-profits, civic groups, and churches engage in outreach.

"Outreach often takes on an educational component (i.e., the dissemination of ideas), but it is increasingly common for organizations to conceive of their outreach strategy as a two-way street. In this case outreach is also framed as engagement, rather than simple dissemination/education."

I did my first outreach in May 2006 (see photo) after being a member of Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) for over 16 years. COS has two components: to support the trans community and to educate civilians about the trans community.

When I volunteered to do outreach, I had ulterior motives. I was looking for an opportunity to go out en femme that was relatively safe, but beyond the safety net of a support group meeting.

A lot of the outreach performed by COS took place at colleges and universities. I figured that these were safe places because they usually are bastions of diversity and tolerance. So I asked to be included on the outreach team the next time COS did outreach at a college or university.

A year or two later, I also joined the Stonewall Speakers outreach team.

Colleges, universities, and other organizations contact COS or Stonewall Speakers when they have a need for outreach. Then COS or Stonewall Speakers contacts its volunteers (like me) to find out who is available to do outreach at the required time and place.

Between COS and Stonewall Speakers, I receive an assignment to do outreach about four times per year. As a result, I have done outreach at Saint Joseph College, Southern Connecticut State University, University of Connecticut, University of Hartford. and Wesleyan College. By the way, if I was not employed full-time, I would be then available for additional assignments because most occur during the weekday.

Tomorrow, I will describe what happens at outreach.

Trans Airline Stewardesses

Hot on the heels of Andrej Pejic modeling a bridal gown on a Paris fashion show runway, we find a new Thai airline, PC Air, hiring "ladyboys" as airline stewardesses. Initilly, three lucky ladyboys were hired from over 100 trans applicants

By the way, the ladyboy "flight attendants will wear special gold-coloured 'third sex' name badges to help passengers and immigration staff to easily identify the gender they are faced with."

Thank you Gwen for alerting me to this story, which appeared in The Telegraph.

First Holy Communion

Molly and Desmond were elated that they were able to pull it off.

Their son Clarissa was about to make his first holy communion, but he could not wear a dress to the ceremonies. The archdiocese insisted that boys had to wear blue suits (jackets and trousers) despite the fact that in this day and age, most parents raised their sons as sissies.

Molly and Desmond pleaded Clarissa's case to their parish's pastor, Father Maxine, and to the parish nun who organized the first holy communion, Sister Bernard. There they found sympathy, but not much hope for their cause.

Then there was a miracle!

The archbishop of the diocese retired and Pope Raylene II appointed a woman, Archbishop Rhonda, as the new archbishop.

With this turn of events, Father Maxine and Sister Bernard contacted the archbishop about the dress requirements and in response, she decreed that both boys and girls could wear dresses to their first holy communion ceremonies.

So it came to pass that on the Sunday of Clarissa's first holy communion, Clarissa shed tears of joy when he paraded down the church aisle with the other sissies wearing adorable first holy communion dresses, while Molly and Desmond proudly looked on wearing his and her skirt suits, (Molly's in baby blue and Desmond's in dusty pink); a complete feminine family just as Goddess intended.

Just Average

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

All-Woman

I have lived in the same area of Connecticut all my life and I have never seen a month of winter weather like the past 31 days! In that time, we had seven snowstorms resulting in a snowfall total of over 5 feet!

The weather has played havoc on my plans to go out. Yesterday, I mentioned cancelling my day trip to First Event because of the weather. Other plans have met similar fates.

It snowed again (10 inches) early yesterday morning, so I worked from home rather than commute to the office.

While clearing the snow from my driveway at noontime, I decided I had had enough; I made up my mind to go out en femme in the evening.

Late in the afternoon, I shaved, showered, did my makeup, and dressed to go out. I wore my Victoria's Secret green sweater dress, brown tights, open-toed snakeskin high heel pumps, and matching snakeskin patterned scarf. I also wore my white fake fur jacket and brown designer knock-off bag.

If you think wearing high heels is an adventure, try it when there is snow, slush, and ice in your path. But I toughed it out for the sake of fashion!

I drove to a very nice Chinese restaurant in the next town. It was about one-quarter full of customers. No one paid me any mind (that I noticed).

My waiter was very polite and called me "Miss." I had a very pleasant dinner and at the end, the waiter presented me with a free dessert: a ball of coconut ice cream.

After dinner, I touched up my lipstick and drove to a nearby Fashion Bug. It was very quiet in the “Bug” --- only one other customer.

The sales staff was very attentive. One saleswoman tried to convince me to be measured and fitted for a pair of a figure-hugging jeans.

I was interested, but I was not sure how I could try on jeans when I was wearing a dress. I had no spare top, so I figured that I would have to strip down to my bra and body shaper. Normally, that would not bother me, but I had not removed enough body hair to strip down to that degree, so I politely turned her down.

I spent about a half hour browsing through the store. I really wasn't looking for anything in particular, but I did find some clip-on earrings that I liked and purchased.

At check-out, I used my Fashion Bug credit card. The cashier, who was the same person who tried to fit me for jeans, asked for additional identification.

I assumed the she was aware I was a male en femme, so I thought nothing about handing her my driver's license.

She looked at it and asked, "Is this your husband?"

"Uh oh," I thought to myself.

"No, that's me," I replied.

She finally realized reality and burst out, "Oh my, God, you look fantastic!"

"Thank-you," I said.

As she was checking me out, she added, "You know, we have other male customers, who dress as women, and I spot them right away, but I never would have guessed you were a guy! You not only look like a woman --- you move like a woman, you talk like a woman, you act like a woman --- you’re all-woman!”

With that, my high heels never touched the slush as I walked on air out of the store and drove home.

New Do

I planned to spend the day at First Event last Friday, but I canceled my plans because the weather forecast did not look promising.

When it snows, I avoid driving especially over long distances. (First Event is about 130 miles away, which is a very long distance in a snowstorm.)

As it turned out, it did snow early Friday morning, so I did not cancel my plans for nothing.

I figured that one day at First Event would have cost me about $75 (including meals and a tank of gas to get there and back).

With 75 unspent dollars burning a hole in my knock-off designer bag, I decided to invest the money in a new hairdo.

Here Comes the Male Bride

This femulation is so amazing that words escape me, so I will let Pedestrian TV do the talking, "The expeditious career trajectory of Australian man-model Andrej Pejic has reached rock star status in the fashion industry after he closed Jean Paul Gaultier's show - in a tulle-ensconced bridal gown no less! - at Paris Couture Fashion Week yesterday."

Now For Something Slighly Different

Meg of Call Me Meg fame sent me this link to a beauty pageant that included women competing as men, as well as the usual men competing as women.

The "girls" shaved their legs, painted their nails, and wore their highest heels for the January 20 event, which was a fundraiser for the Medical College of Georgia Children's Hospital.

Beyond His Portfolio

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Gender Ambiguity in Advertising

"See those two hot blonds in Jean Paul Gaultier's new ad? Surprise! It's not two ladies."

Read and see more on The Huffington Post.

Feminization of Male Fashions

Last week, androgynous fashion model Andrej Pejic walked the runway in a men's fashion show wearing an outfit that included a belted fur dress, high heel pumps, stockings, jewelry, makeup, and a Veronica Lake peek-a-boo hairdo.

In case you missed it, I'll repeat it: he was modeling this decidedly "feminine" outfit in a MEN'S fashion show!

What's going on here?

Does this mean we will soon find dresses and high heel pumps on sale at our favorite men's boutique?

Or is this just another anomaly in the fashion world, which is chock full of anomalies?

During the past few years, fashion designers have been pushing the envelope in the men's fashion arena by showing skirts and dresses for males.

In the more distant past (the last half of the 20th Century), showing masculine skirts and dresses grabbed headlines, but few customers.

Things have changed and males are buying and wearing skirts and dresses today. Not a lot, but a few. You likely will not see a guy in a skirt on the streets of Podunk, but visit some place more cosmopolitan like New York City and you will occasionally see a male wearing a masculine skirted garment.

Masculine skirts and dresses are one thing, but the outfit that Andrej Pejic modeled last week was a horse of a different gender; the only thing masculine about it was the fact that a male was modeling it.

Does this very "feminine" male outfit mean that designers have pushed the envelope so hard that has broken wide open?

It depends.

The designer breaking the envelope is Jean Paul Gaultier, and he has been playing with traditional gender roles in his shows like forever. So it is no surprise that Gaultier would show the "feminine" outfit that Andrej Pejic modeled.

Was Gaultier seriously proffering total feminization for males or was he playing gender games again using a very pretty androgynous model?

Maybe a little bit of both.

Anyway, I promise to keep doing my part.

More or Less Womanly

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Becoming Is In the Eye Of the Beholder

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Andrej Pejic Femulates in Men's Fashion Show

Paris — Androgynous fashion model Andrej Pejic walked the runway yesterday in Jean Paul Gaultier's men's fashion show wearing a dress, heels, and other accoutrements usually associated with females.

Amazing! Isn't this a great time to be a femulator!

German Tootsie

Hansi e-mailed me that a German version of the film Tootsie is in the works. The name of the film is Rubbeldiekatz and stars Matthias Schweighöfers in the role made famous by Dustin Hoffman in 1982.

Hansi wrote that some weeks ago, she read in the news that Schweighöfers started training to walk in heels and during the 'Fashion Week AW 2011/12' in Berlin, he showed up femulated to film some scenes during that event.

The accompanying photo is the actor as he appeared at Fashion Week. You can find more photos here.

In my humble opinion, I much prefer Schweighöfers' femulation to Dustin Hoffman's.

To Do: One Down, Ten To Go

I have already accomplished one of the eleven items on my January 1st To Do List: get rid of my back fat

I learned how at Fantasia Fair back in October when I attended the "Essence of Style: Image Consulting" workshop run by Hera Navassardian. During the workshop Q&A, I asked how to get rid of back fat.

One of Hera's assistants, who also femulates on occasion, explained how she does it: she hides it using shapewear.

I made a mental note.

I recalled the mental note when I tried on the Victoria's Secret sweater dress I bought myself for Christmas. It fit like a glove and revealed my back fat.

Coincidentally, the new Avon catalog was selling a Bali shapewear camisole that let you wear your own bra, while claiming that it "Flattens tummy, smoothes back… solves dilemmas."

I ordered an XL in black.

When it arrived, I thought I was going to need a bigger cami, but it stretched to fit and worked as advertised: my back fat was gone!

I am going to order a second one in beige.

Does that make me ‘Charlotte Sr.’?

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Facebook Now Sharing Your Address and Phone Number

Updated Below

I just deleted my Facebook account after reading this article on Salon, which revealed that Facebook is now sharing my home address and telephone number with third party developers.

"In a platform upgrade on Friday, Facebook announced that these 'new user object fields' were free game for anyone and even gave detailed instructions on how to access users' addresses and phone numbers."

That was the last straw.

Although I had over a thousand Facebook "friends," I rarely used the service, so deleting my account was not a big sacrifice.

By the way, Facebook makes it easy to deactivate your account, which will temporarily hide your information until you reactivate it, but they make it more difficult to permanently delete your account.

So, here is a short-cut for permanently deleting your account: log in to your Facebook account, paste the following URL into your browser:

http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account

and follow the subsequent directions.

UPDATE: After reading some of your comments, I reconsidered. Luckily, my account deletion did not take affect yet (it can take up to 14 days), so I reactivated my account and made my personal information as impersonal as possible.

Laddies First

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

Top Chinese Femulators

You must check out Helen Boyd's blog today for the top ten femulators in China.

All I can say is, "Wow!"

"She" Should Know

(A New Yorker cartoon parody.)

A Red Letter Sweater Day

Last night, the temperature was down to 11°F in my neighborhood and down to 5°F where I work. The forecast was that the temperature would rise to about 20°F today, so I decided to wear my warmest sweater to work.

A red ribbed turtleneck is the warmest sweater I own. I bought on clearance in the women's department at the Gap.

I am unsure whether the sweater looks that feminine. It is like the one in the photo to the right except that my sweater is a brighter shade of red.

Anyway, for what it's worth, I received a compliment ("Nice sweater") at work this morning... from a guy!

Dear Stana: What About Long Nails in Boy Mode?

Dear Stana,

I absolutely love your blog and visit it several times a week. I really appreciate the time you put into making your page worth a look and keeping it updated. Those comics are hysterical!

Now I must ask, as much as you are out and about and somewhat "open" at work, would you share your opinion on guys with long nails?

I do wear my nails long, and they have been getting longer as I've been getting braver. Today, in a meeting with two females, the more masculine one called me on it. She said "you need to clip your nails, why are they so long?"

I told her they were to claw her eyes out. The other girl remarked she must really know me well to make that kind of comment.

My employer prides itself on embracing diversity and I have little care for what "the company" would say, but it's individuals like this that make me stop and think about what I am doing. I feel sure more people have noticed, but have respectfully withheld comment.

I do love having long nails to polish on the weekend when I have more time to femulate. Do you have any thoughts?

Keep up the great work!

Robyn

Hi Robyn,

Thank you for the kind words!

I wear false pre-glued stick-on nails (Kiss brand) mainly because I never got the hang of polishing my own nails under the gun. However, for six or eight months a few years ago, I did grow my own nails out to a feminine length.

I never worried about what my co-workers thought about my nails. If one asked about my nails, I would point-blankly respond that my nails are long because I dress as a woman on weekends.

Either they thought I was joking and laughed at my response or they didn't know what to think. In either case, I never was asked twice by the same person.

As long as you keep your nails neat and clean, no one should have any complaints about them. I am a little surprised that your co-worker said that about your nails. She had a lot of nerve!

I say, you go, girl and wear your long nails and the public be darned!

Best Wishes,

Stana

Need advice concerning femulation or other crossdressing-related matters, then e-mail me and I will happily give you my opinion on the matter. My e-mail address is stana-stana at sbcglobal.net.

Google Knows

When I was a kid, my parents kept me in line by reminding me that Santa Claus knew everything I did, good or bad, and would reward me accordingly on December 25th.

I stopped believing that story a few years ago, but I recently discovered that Google knows.

This morning, I used Google to look up something related to ham radio. Google came back with a list of website links and I clicked on one that looked promising.

Immediately, that ham radio website appeared in my browser, but I was taken aback by the banner advertisement displayed at the top of the web page.

It was an “Ads by Google” Saks Fifth Avenue' advertisement (see above) for a pair of Christian Louboutin glitter-covered peep-toed platform pumps with a 5-1/2-inch stiletto heel for only $795!

After trying unsuccessfully to come up with a ham radio application for the shoes, I realized that Google knows that I am a femulator and is gearing its advertisements toward Stana!

As a result, I plan to be a good girl this year and hope that Google will reward me with a $795 pair of high heels on December 25th.

First I Look At the Purse

Maybe it's just me. Maybe it has something to do with the environment or the era in which I grew up. But in my mind, a purse, clutch, handbag, pocketbook, etc., is the defining part of an outfit that indicates that you really mean business with regards to presenting femininely.

I can wear a wig, dress, heels, full makeup, earrings, necklace, bracelet, pantyhose, tampon, bra, girdle, panties, etc., but until I add a purse to my outfit, only then do I feel that I am really femulating.

Without a purse, a guy in a dress still has a lot of freedom, especially in his upper body, to move and motion in a manly manner. Hand him a purse and that is a mare of a different color. She now has to move and motion differently; she must consider her purse at all times and move accordingly.

"Moving accordingly" means moving like a lady, that is, she must carry herself like other lady's who are carting a bag.

While you are at it, carry a nice bag. A designer bag is to die for and shows the other girls that you are really concerned about your feminine appearance.

A designer bag does not have to bust your budget; the consignment shops are full of like-new designer bags at cut-rate prices.

So, get a nice bag and carry yourself and the bag like a lady.

And happy femulating!

---

Here are a couple of how-to's on the topic of carrying handbags:

• Couture Allure Vintage Fashion

• it's all in the bag

A Twin Set

(A parody of The New Yorker cartoon.)

Excellent Femulation at Womanless Beauty Review

I wish there were more photos of this "womanless beauty review" because the only available photo displays an excellent level of femulation. Anyway, this one was part of the Relay for Life event in Okolona, MS, that took place in May 2010.

Sonia and Me

I was very moved by the Sonia Burgess story (mentioned in yesterday's post here). In many ways, her story is my story.

 

Sonia lived full-time as a woman except at work, where she presented as a male.

I try to live as a woman as much as possible. The exceptions are at work and my life with my wife.

 

Where Sonia worked as a male, "the existence of her alter ego was something of an open secret."

After wearing convincing female costumes to our workplace Halloween parties, I believe that some of my co-workers suspect that something is up.

 

"Sonia was open about her lifestyle to anyone who asked, but she also had separate groups of friends: those who knew her as David and those who knew her exclusively as Sonia."

That describes me to a T (pun intended).

 

Sonia "was growing her hair out and she was certainly discussing some facial surgery and a boob job, but I don't think she was going to go for genital surgery. I don't think she thought it was worth it. It was enough for her to be perceived as female. She didn't see the need to go through such a radical procedure. Partly, this was because Burgess seemed to feel little friction between his (sic) two gender identities."

Same here. If I was full-time, I would grow my hair out and permanently remove the unwanted hair, but I would have no interest in surgery. I feel no friction between my gender identities' As I've mentioned before, I am a woman with a male body and that's alright by me.

Life and Death of David Sonia Burgess

"Last October, detectives were called to investigate the death of a woman under a London tube train. But as they traced her final moments, they discovered that she was, in fact, David Burgess, one of the most brilliant immigration lawyers of his generation. Here, Burgess's family and friends tell, for the first time, the complicated story of the loving father, brilliant colleague, sensitive woman and courageous person they knew."

Thank you, Gwen for alerting me about this story that appears in today's Guardian The Observer. You can read the rest of it here.

I so identify with Sonia! I wish I knew her before she died.

Wishing They Weren't In Kansas Anymore

When I Was A Red

Before I discovered that I was really a blonde, I thought I was really a redhead, as shown in this May 1995 photo.

My belief in my redheadedness goes back to when I was a baby. I don't recall it myself, but my parents always claimed that I was a redhead in my very early years. (Gradually my hair color turned brown, later gray, and still later thin.)

Anyway, when I was choosing a wig color, I figured red might work since I started here as a redhead. Turned out that I liked myself as a redhead and wore various shades of red for years.

By Popular Demand

Many of you sent positive feedback regarding my vintage photograph and asked for more. So, I went through my shoebox of old photos to see if there were any other oldies that were goodies.

I found this one from December 1994, in which I was all dolled-up to attend my support group's Christmas party.

I love that dress. I think I only wore it twice. I hope it is still in storage in the attic; if so, I think I can find an occasion to wear it again.

I also like the hair style. If I can find that length and style in a lighter color, I may be sporting a new hairdo soon.

What's Good for the Goose...

I received this e-mail advertisement today:

Wouldn't it be nice to receive this e-mail advertisement tomorrow:

Housework

I put on a frilly apron this morning and did some housework around the blog. In the process, I updated the Womanless Archive web page and My Favorite Photos web page.
While I was tidying up, I wondered what you girls would like to see here in my blog. What is missing? What would you like to see more of (or less of)? Et cetera, et cetera.
All sincere suggestions will be considered. I look forward to hearing from you!

First On My List

Anne Francis died Sunday.

The 5'8' film and television actress was probably best known for her role as Honey West in the television detective series of the same name, but I will always remember her as Robby the Robot's housemate in the science fiction film classic Forbidden Planet.

Coincidentally, on the day of her death, Turner Classic Movies (TCM) showed Forbidden Planet and I happened upon it while switching channels (I did not know she had died at the time).

While watching the film, I mentioned to my family how the monster in the film had scared the bejesus out of me when I saw the film for the first time as a 5-year-old sitting in the back seat of my family's Buick Special at the local drive-in theater.

What a predicament!

Whenever the monster appeared on the big screen, I looked away. Problem was that when I looked away from the big screen, I ended up looking out the side windows of the Buick and who knew what monsters were lurking out in the blackness beyond the Buick!

Getting back to Ms. Francis. She was the first on what would turn out to be my very long list of women who I found attractive and wanted to be like. Watch Forbidden Planet and I think you will agree that she was someone to femulate. And she had Robby the Robot at her beck and call to boot!

Rest in peace, Altaira.

Scalia's Surprise: Women Don't Have Constitutional Protection Against Discrimination

UPDATED BELOW

WASHINGTON -- The equal protection clause of the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution does not protect against discrimination on the basis of gender or sexual orientation, according to Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.

For the record, the 14th Amendment's equal protection clause states: "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." That would seem to include protection against exactly the kind of discrimination to which Scalia referred.

Read the rest of this shocking story in The Huffington Post.

UPDATE:  Scalia says the 14th Amendment protects only black citizens, not women. Oh, and a rich white kid named Bush

For another view on the matter, please read this piece by Joan Walsh from Salon.

Japanese Crossdressers Niche Shopping Site

Now that I have finally gotten rid of the visions of sugarplums dancing in my head, I have been trying to catch up on my trans-net reading.

During my catch-up, I came across this December 16 Japan Trends story about an e-commerce store that is an offshoot of the crossdresser maid cafes. For those who are unfamiliar with crossdresser maid cafes, they are restaurants where the waitstaff dress as maids and also happen to be male.

The e-commerce store, Lagrangel, sells a variety of feminine finery (including wigs) for Japanese lads who wish to present as ladies. Too bad their size large is about 6 inches too small for me!

To Do

In lieu of New Year's resolutions, I prefer to assemble a to-do list for the coming year. So for 2011, here are my to-dos (in no particular order):

• Dress en femme more often than not

• Kiss a girl

• Lose ten pounds

• Write a book

• Get rid of my back fat

• Have more nights out with the girls

• Get rid of my varicose veins

• Improve my blog

• Find a new hair style

• Attend a transgender conference

• Sell Avon en femme