Pageant, the movie

"With all hormone and surgical enhancements banned from the competition, contestants rely entirely on tricks of makeup and wardrobe."

That quote from Blockbuster's blurb for the film Pageant motivated me to add the film to my Blockbuster rental queue.

As a femulator, who does not take hormones or has had any surgical enhancements, I was very interested in viewing this documentary about the Miss Gay America competition. (I later discovered that surgical enhancements were forbidden below the neck, thus contestants could have their faces worked over as much as they desired and/or could afford.)

The film was in my queue for months. Blockbuster finally shook it loose and the DVD arrived in my mailbox on Saturday. I watched the film Saturday night.

I enjoyed the film, which concentrated on the lives of five of the 52 contestants. By the documentary's mid-point, I found myself really getting into the film because I was rooting for two of the five contestants; the others, not so much.

From a personal standpoint, I especially appreciated the documentation of the reactions of the contestants' families' and friends' when they discovered a femulator in their midst.

From a technical standpoint, there was not much how-to information in the film. There were just a few glimpses of how the contestants achieve breast cleavage and narrow waists, as well as how they apply their makeup.

For what it's worth, I achieve cleavage the the same way as the contestants. I use surgical tape to squeeze my boobs together, then I use light and dark highlighting makeup to make my cleavage appear deeper.

For narrow waists, the contestants tightly wrap their waistlines with duct tape (over their underwear). I prefer a waist cincher with corset lacing because duct tape leaves residue on your undies that is difficult to remove.

The makeup application was disappointing. Most of the contestants apply makeup to achieve a way-over-the-top drag queen look, whereas I was hoping their makeup application would more closely approximate a Miss America contestant look. I guess the drag queen look was to be expected because most of the contestants are professional drag queens.

I have been hankering to compete in a beauty pageant. Although I am almost a senior citizen, my looks are still acceptable and my lip-synching skills are getting better all the time.

I thought that maybe the Miss Gay America competition might provide an outlet for my hankering, but after viewing the film, I think I will have to look elsewhere. I know I could compete with the other contestants except in the talent competition. Like I said, most of the contestant are pros, so their talents/acts were very professional with staging, back-up dancers, etc. that would leave a mere lip-syncher like me in the dust.

Perhaps I can come up with a twist to my lip-synching that would make it more unique, but until then, wearing the Miss Gay America crown will remain a far-off dream.