stranger than fictionmania*

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I like that in a man

if the shoes fits, buy it

I went to Payless during lunch and the shoes I liked, did not fit, so I bought none.

Saturday shopping

Yesterday, my wife and I went shopping.

First stop was Fashion Bug, which was having a big sale. My wife was looking for a denim skirt and I was looking for a summer dress that I saw on the rack last time we were there. We both struck out.

Next stop was Payless, which was also having a big sale. In addition to their BOGO (buy one, get one half off) sale, the girls at Wednesday's support group meeting alerted me that Payless was also clearing out their inventory and selling shoes for $10 and less!

My wife found a pair of sandals for $18 and I found a pair of boy sneakers for $10. So, we combined our purchases and a la BOGO, I got the sneakers for $5.

I also found some beautiful girl shoes that I wanted to buy. I have no problem trying on girl shoes en homme, but I did not want to embarrass my wife, so I plan to return to Payless tomorrow and shop for girl shoes.

the goal is acceptance

last night out

I attended my support group's meeting last night. It was the last meeting before the group's two month summer hiatus and there were about 15 in attendance. I knew most, but there were a couple of new faces, too.

We had salad, pizza, dessert, and refreshments, then we elected the officers for the next 12 months. I was "elected" newsletter editor (I ran unopposed).

The rest of the meeting consisted of pleasant conversation. It was a nice evening out en femme.

Due to time constraints (I was running late), I did not go shopping before the meeting.

four dresses

Spiegel's online catalog has four dresses that I like. They are just my style and I think they would look good on me.
Currently, they cost $60, $100, $60, and $19, respectively.

I would buy the $19 dress in a New York minute, but it is a clearance item and is only available in size 4!

I will wait and perhaps someday soon the others will become clearance items in my size.

Transgender series served its purpose

We (the Nashua Telegraph) tried to humanize a population that has in many quarters been dehumanized. When people are dehumanized, they are more likely to be the targets of violence, even fatal violence. When they are dehumanized, they experience depression and suicide at a much greater rate.

A good community newspaper promotes understanding and compassion in the community it serves in the interest of all populations, no matter how small. Sometimes that means taking on a subject that is challenging to the newspaper and discomforting to many readers.

This was one of those times.

Read all about it here.

Equality, shmequality! Just become a man

Imagine you're a rural woman living in an impoverished and patriarchal country where your life is worth exactly 12 oxen. You're unable to carry a weapon, own property or move freely. What's a girl to do? Until recently, for some Albanian women the answer was: Become a man.

Read all about it here.

random thoughts on Tuesday

The top five phrases that cause search engines to send searchers to this blog are femulate, fictionmania, kate salehurst, katesalehurst, and dresses for men.

• femulate is self-explanatory


• fictionmania is a web site mentioned here a few times. It is an online repository for crossdressing fiction.


• kate salehurst, katesalehurst is a beautiful trans-woman, who I mentioned here once or twice


• dresses for men is intriguing. Is it an indication that non-trans-people are looking for dresses for men? Are non-trans-males adding dresses to their wardrobe? Are women searching for dresses for their men?

***

I am going out en femme Wednesday evening, primarily to attend my support group's final meeting before the group’s two-month summer hiatus. Before the meeting, I also plan to go shopping. There is a DSW Shoe Warehouse that I must check out and Dress Barn is across the street!

I’d walk a mile for a camisole

I plan to go out en femme Wednesday evening to attend my support group’s final meeting before the group’s two-month summer hiatus. I plan to wear a black dress that I’ve worn before and from past experience, I know that the loose V-neckline of that dress will reveal the top of my bra.

If I wear a black bra, then no problem; my bra will blend in with my dress. However, if I wear a white or beige bra, I will want to hide my bra, so I will wear a camisole over my bra/under my dress to camouflage my bra.

Camisole camouflage (or “cami camo”) addresses a variety of fashion issues. As I wrote in my top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman, "buy one camisole or better, buy two: one in black and another in white. I own a half dozen because they can solve so many personal wardrobe dilemmas."

femulate, the word

There is a discussion on CrossDressers-Forum.com concerning the word “femulate.”

Some folks like the word, some folks don’t. Each to his/her own.

Also, some have no idea where the word came from, so I left the following message:

I started my blog, http://femulate.blogspot.com, in February 2007, and made up the word "Femulate" to name my blog.

At the top of my blog, I define femulate thusly: fem·u·late (fem´ya-lat´) v., To imitate, copy, or try to be like a female.

The words "femulator," "femulation," "femulating," etc. are derived from "femulate."

Have fun!

100,000 milestone

Wow!

The hit counter on this blog incremented past 100,000 a few hours ago.

February 12, 2007, the first week this blog was on the net, it averaged 29 hits per day. This past week, it averaged 640 hits per day.

I guess I am doing something right and I hope that my writing has helped you to accept and embrace your or someone else's gender diversity. Thank you for visiting and revisiting.

yet another ephemera update

I have yet another new addition to my ephemera collection: a postcard from The Beige Room in San Francisco.

Cyd Charisse's legs

Some readers may not know much about Cyd Charisse, who died Tuesday and who I wrote about here yesterday. So here is an article by Danny Miller that describes the wonderful lady.

Cyd Charisse died

Film actress-dancer Cyd Charisse died yesterday. (You can read all about here.)

I have a tenuous connection with Ms. Charisse: we share the same birthday (month and day of month, not year).

Did you ever look at those celebrity birthday lists to see who shares your birthday? The only celebrities I knew on the list for my birthday were Ms. Charisse and baseball star Jim Rice, so when I heard about Ms. Charisse's death on the news last night, the first thing I thought of was that we share birthdays.

In addition to sharing birthdays, some people would say that we share something else. Ms. Charisse had great legs and I am told that I have great legs, too.

Personally, I think that my legs are ok, but other people are convinced that they are more so. Mom often said I had beautiful legs (and that I "should have been a girl with legs like yours"). My wife and other genetic women have admitted that I have nicer legs then they do. Other trans-folk have complimented me on my legs, too. One of my friend's significant other even calls me "Leggy!"

the name game

Reading a magazine waiting at the doctor's office on Friday, I learned that Barack Obama's deceased mother's name was Stanley Anne Dunham.

"Stanley" is yet another male name that has been appropriated to name a female.

If other parents follow Obama's grandparent's lead and name their daughters Stanley, will Stanley enter that gray area of names that can be either male or female?

And if Stanley catches on as a female name, parents will stop naming newborn males Stanley and it will become a female-only name like the following former male names that are now considered female: Alexis, Ashley, Beverly, Brook, Carol, Courtney, Dana, Doris, Evelyn, Florence, Gail, Glenn, Heather, Hillary, Jocelyn, Kelly, Kelsey, Kim, Leslie, Lindsey, Lynn, Madison, Marion, Meredith, Paige, Robin, Shannon, Shelley, Shirley, Sydney, Taylor, Tracy, Vivian, Whitney.

If this trend continues, parents may eventually use up all of the male names to name females and may be stumped on what to name newborn males. Then will the other shoe fall, i.e., will parents start appropriating female names for their newborn sons and name their boys Sarah, Elizabeth, Mary, Susan, Diane, Katherine, etc?

I find the feminization of the name Stanley interesting from another viewpoint. My given male name is Stanley. Can I now safely go out en femme and use Stanley instead of Staci? Probably, yes.

still more TransPride photos

Courtesy of Glenn Koetzner, here are 150 photos from the New England TransPride March and Rally in Northampton, MA, on June 7.

my ephemera update

I have two new additions to my ephemera collection: a postcard and a souvenir photograph from Club 82 / 82 Club in NYC.

me, too

word of the day: prink

This was actually yesterday's Word of the Day. I think it belongs in every crossdressing fashionista's vocabulary.

prink \PRINGK\, transitive verb:
1. To dress up; to deck for show.

intransitive verb:
1. To dress or arrange oneself for show; to primp.

Tara has supermodel legs and is already getting used to being prinked and coiffed as she prepares for her first beauty contest in the autumn.
-- Raffaella Barker, "Diary hatched, matched and almost despatched", Daily Telegraph, September 6, 1997

The point is reinforced by a clutch of contemporary art photos . . . showing plump nudes prinking and preening like pouter pigeons, and, in one case, a couple of dancers deliberately posed to recreate a Degas painting.
-- Hilary Spurling, Daily Telegraph, January 23, 1999

Prink is probably an alteration of prank, from Middle English pranken, "to show off," perhaps from Middle Dutch pronken, "to adorn oneself," and from Middle Low German prunken (from prank, "display").

Dad of a trans and trans Dad

These are random thoughts about my Dad, the "Dad of a trans," and myself, a "trans Dad."

My father has been dead for over 20 years, but I think of him often. He was a great guy and I know he loved me, but I think he was a little uncomfortable around me because I was not a typical "boy" and because he saw me crossdressed for Halloween on a couple of occasions. On the other hand, when I crossdressed on Halloween, I remember my Dad warning me to be careful because other males might hit on me.

When my wife was pregnant, I hoped that our baby would be female because I feared that I might not be an adequate role model for a son. I was very relieved when a daughter showed up instead of a son. Turns out that my daughter has been very supportive of my transness; who knows if a son would have been the same.

Happy Father’s Day to all.

Harper's Bazaar, July 2008

Gwyneth Paltrow... Wow! On newsstands now!

more TransPride photos

Courtesy of GLAD, here is a link to more photos from Saturday's New England TransPride March & Rally.

Also, please read GLAD Transgender Rights Project Director Jennifer Levi's thoughts on the march at her blog.

let's talk man-to-man

cartoon boys dressed as cartoon girls

If you have seen some of the images I have posted here in the past, you know I enjoy humor in the crossdressing vein. And I am always looking for other people's work in that area.

Earlier today, I found a collection of "cartoon boys dressed as cartoon girls" on flickr by a talented artist named bathgate212. I was impressed and enjoyed what I saw, but be forewarned that depending on your personal tastes, some of the images may be considered R or X rated.

Click here to see more.

noho

On Saturday, Northampton, Massachusetts, was the site of the first New England TransPride March and Rally.

During my life, I have driven through Northampton (or "NoHo") a few times, but I have never had the opportunity to spend much time there until TransPride.

It was impressive.

In addition to being a community that accepts Ts and LGBs, it is a great town for shopping and dining in its beautiful downtown area. In the short time I had to explore NoHo, I discovered some wonderful shops that I would like to explore further when I have more time.

At the rally, someone was passing out postcards for a shop that sounded very interesting: Ultra Gal at 114 Main Street. Their postcard indicates that they sell vintage clothing and welcome trans customers.

I looked them up on the Internet, and here is what one person had to say about it, "I love Ultra Gal. It is a great place to shop or just hang out and talk to the wonderful staff, who care so much for people. They have a wide range of wigs along with a ton of old vintage items. The thing that I like most is all the jewelry that they have along with the wide variety of tiaras. They have done so much for the trans community here in Northampton and areas around it."

Sounds like a shop that I will be visiting soon en femme.

transpride photos and videos

Saturday, I took my digital camera to a TransPride and took a lot of photos, but most of them came out lousy. The problem was that some foreign substance was smeared on my lens. I assume it was suntan lotion. Until I discovered it near day's end, all the photos came out blurry.

When I viewed the photos as I took them, I did not notice the problem because the Sun was so bright that it washed out the image displayed by the camera's LCD. Only when Iwas viewing the photos late in the day in the shade did I notice the problem. After I cleaned the lens, the few remaining photos I took came out fine.

So all I have for my day of shooting photos is a couple of good ones at the beginning of the day and a couple of good ones at the end of the day. I was very disappointed.

But all is not lost because after searching the Internet, I discovered that other people have been posting their TransPride photos and videos on the net. Here are the ones I have found:

• Danielle Rose's photos
• Diana's photos and videos
• Donna Rose's photos
• GLAD's photos
• Glen Koetzner's photos
• Jess's photos
• Lynn's photos
  
• New England Blade videos
• Reiter's Block's photos
• Tammidee10's photos

I will add more to the list if I discover them.

an amazing day

Transpride March and Rally, Northampton, MA, June 7, 2008

I met my friend Diana at her house and she drove her high MPG hybrid to Northamption (we picked up her old friend/my new friend Trevor along the way).

We arrived about 10:45 AM and parked in the garage next to the parking lot where the rally would take place. We found our support group’s table, which was close to the stage, and set up for the day.

Soon after arriving in Northampton and walking around awhile, I discovered that my “comfortable” shoes were not comfortable enough, so I did not march.

I would have marched if I only had to march one way, but first I had to walk the length of the march route to the park where the march began and then march back. The two-mile trek was not in the cards. And meanwhile, my comfortable sneakers were in my car sitting in Diana's driveway, 60 miles away! I kicked myself the rest of the day for that strategic error.

(Although my shoes were march-deficient, two women working the pizza booth at the rally said they "loved" my shoes! I also received a couple of compliments on my whole outfit.)

The weather started out comfortably. It was warm and humid, but not bad. Then the skies cleared, the Sun went to work, the temperatures rose, and by noon, it was amazingly hot!

Most of the attendees were dressed appropriately for the weather (shorts, loose and/or skimpy tops), not too many skirts, dresses, and hosiery, but I was not alone in my wardrobe choice and did not feel out of place.

Actually, I was more comfortable then I expected. I went with minimal underwear: just panties, bra, and a lightweight waist cincher. My wig and makeup were not an issue and as a result, I did not perspire at all except when I used a portable toilet, which was an oven!

The march was impressive. Five hundred to 1,000 people marched (estimates varied) and were cheered by on-lookers along the route. The marchers arrived at the rally site around noon and the speakers began shortly thereafter.

I stayed at our table most of the afternoon, sipping water, listening to the speakers, and enjoying the shade provided by the beach umbrella that Lee Anne kindly provided.

It was an interesting crowd and not the typical crowd I have seen at expensive trans conferences where white middle class, middle-aged transpeople predominate (NTTIAWWT). Here, I saw all colors, ages, and classes of transpeople, which brought home the fact that the Trans Nation is as diverse as the general population.

The rally ended around 5 PM. Diana and I packed up and walked to a nearby lounge for the GLAD after-rally party, where we hobnobbed with some of the movers and shakers in the trans community including TransFM’s Ethan St. Pierre and IFGE’s Denise Leclair, who graciously took the photo accompanying this blog posting.

There was a familiar face at the party, but I could not place her. Today, while searching the blogs for Transpride references, I placed her face when I read her blog. The face belonged to Jess, a regular reader of this blog and the author of her own blog, Our Life In Pink. At the party, I almost asked her where I knew her from, but I am shy, did not do so and regret it so much now that we did not make a connection.

After a very long day, Diana and I left the party and travelled back our homes.

It was an amazing day. The speakers were inspiring and motivated me to come out and be proud about being trans. It is something I am seriously considering.

I Remembered A Dream!

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I seldom remember my dreams and on those rare occasions when I do remember a dream, it is usually trans related.

In light of my day at Transpride yesterday, I find it interesting that I remembered my dream last night, but it was not trans related… or was it?

Here is last night's dream:

I am driving on the I-84 in the general direction of New York City approximately 80 miles away. Suddenly, an exploding ball appears on the horizon. Then the ball disappears and the whole sky turns bright yellow-orange.

As I realize that someone dropped the big one on The City, I am transported from my car to the house where I was raised and I run downstairs to the cellar to hide from the nuclear blast. I realize that it is probably futile because if I survive the blast, I will eventually die from the radiation. Then, I woke up.

nothing new in my closet

I went shopping last night to find some cool duds to wear to Transpride tomorrow where the weather people predict it will be 95 and humid.

I found nothing that I liked, so I plan to go with what I had originally planned to wear, which will probably suffice. (Unless I wear a skimpy bikini, I don't think anything I wear tomorrow will keep me cool anyway.)

On the other hand, the weather people have been wrong before including this week, so maybe it won't be as hot as the predict it will be.

if you can't stand the heat...

The weather forecast for Saturday in Northampton is "partly cloudy with a high near 95."

Yucky!

I never dress en femme in that kind of weather unless I will be spending most of my time inside an air-conditioned building, which will not be the case this Saturday at the Transpride March and Rally.

So, I must dress for the weather, which means I will go shopping real soon now to find something cool to wear.

Wish me luck!

are you from lady.sk?

For the past month, this blog has been getting lots (and I mean LOTS) of visitors coming from a Web site called lady.sk in the Slovak Republic. The Web site is written in Slovak, so I am having a difficult time trying to figure out why folks from lady.sk are coming here.

If you are a visitor from from lady.sk, I'd greatly appreciate it if you would tell me what on the lady.sk Web site got you here.

local color

A girl e-mailed me yesterday asking where to buy wigs and get makeovers at local establishments that are friendly to gender diverse customers.

Wigs

I buy most of my wigs at Tonkin's in the Eagle Plaza, 481 Wolcott St., Waterbury, CT 06705, phone 203-753-1355, e-mail tonkinswigs at aol dot com.

Kathy Tonkins, the owner, is the best. She has a great eye for what colors and styles are suitable for you and she has absolutely no problem dealing with trans customers. In fact, every year, she hosts a meeting of our support group in her store. Tell her "Staci" sent you.

Makeovers

The best makeover experience I had was at Sephora at the West Farms Mall, Farmington, CT 06032, phone 860-521-7669, http://www.sephora.com/.

I did not have a full makeover. The woman who dealt with me was more than willing to give me a makeover, but at the time, I only wanted some advice. In the process, she made a number of "adjustments" to my makeup that constituted half a makeover.

The woman treated me as a lady and never let on that she knew I was a male. When she began making adjustments, I did not want her to mess up my beard cover, so at that point, I told her I was a male en femme. She continued to treat me nicely and was very supportive of my gender diversity.

She said, "You only have one life to live, so live it as you please. If someone has a problem with you, it is their problem, not yours."

I will never forget those words and carry them with me to this day.

state recognizes trans as separate sex

According to Radio Austrailia, a state in south India has become the country's first to recognise transgender people as a separate sex.

Activists hope the move will boost the status of transgender communities, which trace their origins back to ancient Hindu scriptures.

Read all about it here.

hot time at Transpride

I am very psyched about attending Transpride on Saturday. I am going up to "Big T" with my friend Diana, who has an invite to a reception afterword where we will be rubbing elbows with the makers and shakers of the trans world (Diana is a local maker and shaker).

The weather forecast is "Mostly sunny, with a high near 94 84." If that forecast holds up I will be wearing hot pants and a bikini top... not.

Actually, I am undecided on what to wear. I have two outfits in mind, but I probably won't decide until Saturday morning. Regardless, I will be wearing comfortable shoes for sure, but they must be stylish comfortable shoes, afterall I have a reputation as a fashionista that I must maintain and I don't want to disappoint.

Update:

I just checked the forecast again and the predicted high temperature for Saturday in NoHo is 84, not 94. When I saw "94" this morning, I was surprised because yesterday, it was 84. I guess someone caught the error. Maybe that someone is a reader of this blog and my mention of 94 alerted them to the mistake!

Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Via my friend Diana's blog, I learned that today is Blogging for LGBT Families Day.

I wish all my family acknowledged and supported my transness.

My wife acknowledges it, tolerates it, but is not supportive. And she does not want to talk about it.

My daughter acknowledges it and is supportive. (Goddess, bless her.)

With the rest of my family: some know about it, some have no clue.

The ones that know have never acknowledged it to my face. It is the proverbial elephant in the room no one talks about. They talk about it behind my back, but they never saw me crossdressed, so they don't have to deal with it face-to-face.

Being a crossdresser, my transness is not out their 24/7; I do not crossdress full-time, so my family does not have to confront my transness, so they avoid it.

That is understandable. Most people don't want to confront something when they can avoid it, so they don't confront it unless they have no choice.

Maybe I should give them no choice. Maybe I will wear my most feminine outfit on Father's Day and visit all my relatives.

Transgender Issues on the Urban Communities

This promises to be very interesting and informative. Sadly, I have a schedule conflict and cannot attend, but I urge anyone in the Hartford area that can make it, to make it.