shopping with vigor

Missy wrote, "Since you seem to me to be so very comfortable with who you are it would be great to read more about you. For instance, how do you maintain your confidence when you shop for clothes, shoes, ... I am always so intimidated I have ended up buying everything but pantyhose on-line and consequently not always getting what I want."

Shopping en femme is so much better than shopping online.

If an item doesn't fit, you put it back on the rack and try on another size. If an item doesn't look good on you, you put it back on the rack and try on something else. You don't have to deal with the time and expense that returning an online purchase entails.

Shopping en femme also is an affirmation of my feminine gender. Shopping among other women, I blend in and become another woman. Typically, the other women are concentrating on shopping and not on me. They may be aware of my physical presence, but will assume that I am just another girl hunting for a bargain.

While browsing through the racks, I always encounter other women doing the same. They may look up momentarily to see who the other bargain hunter is and when they don't recognize me, they return to the hunt. Sometimes they may offer a friendly smile or a pleasant "hello," too. Rarely am I the target of daggers aimed at a man in a dress.

My last shopping experience was typical. I spent about an hour in the Misses department of the local JCPenney's perusing the racks and going back and forth to the dressing room to try on my finds. During that hour, I encountered a lot of customers doing the same and I noticed none of the other bargain hunters paying any attention to me.

However, I did not go unnoticed. A few people who were not busy shopping noticed me. A woman, who had finished shopping and waiting to pay for her finds, checked me out while she was in line at the cashier. I also noticed two saleswomen checking me out.

Perhaps, they were just checking me out because they were impressed with the way I look. Or maybe they suspected I was en femme and were trying to confirm their suspicions.

But, who cares what they think? It is my life and I will live it the way I want to live it (as long as I do not harm anyone). I am presenting myself as a woman and I expect to be treated as a woman. If anyone has a problem with that, it is their problem, so let them deal with it, just don't thread on me.

And, by the way, although some salespeople noticed me, I have never had a salesperson give me a hard time. Their job is to make a sale, so if the customer looks like a duck, then treat the customer like a duck and everything will be ducky.

While on the subject of looking like a duck, while I am shopping en femme, I try to be as womanly as possible. I concentrate on carrying myself like a woman, speaking like a woman, acting like a woman. It is no time to fall back into my guy ways. And after making a concerted effort to pass, it begins to come naturally and I have to concentrate less and less on passing and just enjoy being a woman.

I approach each shopping expedition with all this in mind. And before every expedition, I worry. And I may sit in my car in the parking lot for a minute or two trying to build up my courage to go in the store. Once I gather up my courage, get out of the car, walk to the entrance of the store, hear the click of my heels on the pavement, and catch a glimpse of my feminine vision reflected in the store's window, my confidence builds and my worries go away.