Day of Remembrance

November 20 is Transgender Day of Remembrance, which memorializes people killed as a result of anti-transgender hatred or prejudice.

This memorial takes place in locations throughout the world. Locally, Hartford, is the site for this event.

In past years, I have not attended. This year, my friend Diana, who is active in the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition asked me to speak at the event and represent the crossdressing branch of the trans-tribe. My take is that plain, vanilla crossdressers don't usually speaking at the Hartford version of the event, but Diana feels that we should be represented.

I was honored that she asked me and I gladly accepted.

The hard part is coming up with something to say. This year's theme is "Love Tran-scends! The Importance of Allies" and I am expected to say something related to that theme for about five minutes. I could do five hours, so I will have to work on it.

dress from Vicky's

The dress I ordered last week from Victoria's Secret arrived yesterday.

I opened the box, opened the plastic bag containing the dress, removed the dress, and held it up. My first thought was that it was too small.

I stripped down to my underwear, slipped the dress on and it fit! So far, so good.

Since the dress is so expensive, I want to see how it looks and fits with my girly underwear and then decide whether to keep it or send it back. But, I did not have time to do that last night. Maybe tonight...

Halloween

I fished around for information yesterday trying to find out if anyone would be wearing a costume to work today to celebrate Halloween. The consensus was that no one would. (And, so far, no one has shown up in costume). I did not want to be the only person in costume, so I decided not to wear one either.

I am disappointed. I would have had a good time.

On the other hand, I would have had to gotten up earlier than usual to do my makeup and get dressed. Since I am still catching up from my sleep-deprived World Series, I appreciated not getting up earlier this morning.

Addendum

I just read an excellent article titled "Coping With the Holidays" by Gianna E. Israel. I highly recommend it.

Another Addendum

Turns out that a few people did show up in costume at work today. Now, I'm sorry I didn't.

passing among the clueless

Passing is challenging.

Although I have been crossdressing since I was a young pup, I have only been going out in public on a frequent basis during the past year.

Before that, I did go out, but usually to attend support group meetings or some outing sponsored by my support group or another trans-organization. In reality, those outings were just extensions of my closet with minimal contact with the public and I did not have to worry about being read.

I had an epiphany about a year ago when I gathered up all my courage and went shopping at a local mall. One of the first things I did was go to Sephora for a makeup consultation.

During my consultation, I mentioned to the consultant that I had beard cover under my foundation and that I was wearing beard cover because I was a crossdresser. The consultant probably knew that I was a crossdresser already. She sensed my uneasiness and tried to settle me down by saying, "You only have one life to live and you should live it like you want. If someone has a problem, then it is their problem, not yours."

Those words have stuck with me ever since. Whenever I hesitate going out in public, I remember those words and they motivate me to go forward, the public be damned.

But I am still a novice going out and at a stage that when I interact with the public, I assume that I am being read (because of the closer proximity of that public). And I am waiting for them to give me a clue that they know.

Most of the time, I do not get that clue. Either the other party has no clue and I am passing or they are good at concealing the fact that they know.

I guess that instead of looking for a clue, I should just go with the flow, assume that I pass, and enjoy my time out en femme.

red

In honor of the World Champion Boston Red Sox, this week's "Femulate This" ladies will be wearing red.

GenderSAFE survey for college students

Brittney Hoffman, the GenderYOUTH coordinator at GenderPAC, is trying to get 1,000 people to fill out the GenderSAFE survey before December 1. The survey maps where colleges and universities stand on gender identity and expression issues.

If you are a college student, I urge you to complete the survey, which you can access here.

"all men want to dress up as a woman once in their lives"

"All men want to dress up as a woman once in their lives," is a remark attributed to Michael Ball, an actor playing the part of Edna Turnblad in the British production of Hairspray.

I dunno.

Speaking for myself, long ago when I was a youngster, I knew I wanted to dress up as a woman once in my life. And after I did it once, I was hooked and wanted to do it again and again and again!

But, I dunno if all men have the desire to crossdress once in their lives. In all my life, I cannot recall a single male acquaintance ever saying to me that he had a desire to don a wig, dress, makeup, and heels. On the other hand, that is not a topic males would discuss amongst themselves.

Maybe most average guys do have such thoughts and wonder how it would be to play for the other team, but being average guys, they keep such thoughts to themselves, so, who knows?

school for seduction

Last weekend while channel surfing, I came upon a British film titled School for Seduction.

I missed most of the film and normally I would have kept channel surfing except that the scene I came in on was very intriguing: a beautiful female instructor was teaching a classroom of women how to walk in a seductive manner. That caught my interest, so I stayed tuned while searching the Internet for a plot synopsis.

I found this on Blockbuster: "When an enchanting Italian temptress opens a School for Seduction in a small-town, four friends find their stagnant sex-lives taking on a whole new life in a passionate tale of love and lust."

My trans-radar is always on the alert and I quickly noticed that one of the women in the class was much taller than all the other women. A close-up of the tall woman revealed that she was wearing a wig that needed some work. I assumed she was male and further searching on the Internet confirmed my suspicions.

It was late and I started dozing off, so I went to bed. However, before I turned in, I added the film to my Blockbuster queue and the DVD should be arriving in my mailbox real soon now.

After the Red Sox game ended this morning at 12:58 AM, I was wired from watching the game, so I started channel surfing again and found School for Seduction again. Again, I came in on the middle of the film, but in an earlier scene than I came in on last week. And I learn that the crossdresser is a female impersonator honing his skills by attending the class.

A scene or two later, a group of students go to a nightclub to see the impersonator perform. He sings a torch song and the students gush over his performance with comments indicating how much the class has helped him.

I started dozing off, so I went to bed.

I look forward to watching the film from start to finish when it arrives in the mail.

Halloween plans

I am still up in the air about wearing a costume to work on Halloween.

Yesterday at work, I overheard some talk about costumes, but I was not sure they were talking about costumes to wear to work or costumes to wear other than work.

If I don't hear something more definitive on Monday, I will ask our receptionist if she is going to wear a costume, then pump her for any information she has regarding costume plans at work. Being the company receptionist, if anyone knows, she will know.

At least I have decided what I will wear if I do wear a costume. I plan to wear prostitute drag, that is, my shortest skirt, highest boots, fishnet hose, leopard top, boa, heavy makeup, big hair, etc.

I'll let you know if I go through with it as soon as I know! And there will be photos; you can count on it.

bad day en femme

the tooth of the hound

I love houndstooth, so naturally, I fell in love with this houndstooth jacket dress from Jessica London.

Jessica London sells "fashions for sizes 14W to 34W" and as a result, some of their fashions can look matronly. I don't want to dress matronly, so I am careful what I buy from Ms. London.

Before I ordered the dress, I asked my girlfriend Patty what she thought about it and it turns out that she also loves houndstooth and thinks that the dress would look great on me. That convinced me and I ordered the dress yesterday.

Patty also suggested that I accessorize with knee-high boots or red patent leather pumps and a matching red patent leather bag. I have knee-high boots, red pumps and a matching red bag, but they are not patent leather. But I think they will do.

blog review

I read all this blog's postings today (from February 6 to today). I corrected spelling, grammar, and format errors.

Also, I discovered questions embedded in the Comments that I failed to answer for one reason or another. I promise to answer all the questions I missed as soon as possible.

The Importance of Halloween

After reading this blog post, I am encouraged and may go to work in costume on Wednesday even if the company is not celebrating Halloween.

Agway vs. Victoria's Secret

Today, I went shopping at the local Agway. I bought a 40-pound bag of sunflower seed to feed my fine-feathered friends and two 40-pound bags of kitty litter for our cats. The bill came to $40.19. So, I no longer feel guilty about spending $150 for a to-die-for dress that I bought from Victoria's Secret. It was an online purchase* and an XL, so I hope it fits because XL is as big as it comes.

* By buying online, I was able to take advantage of a special $30 discount that was not available if I bought in-store. On the other hand, I do have to pay for shipping and if it doesn't fit, I have to pay to ship it back, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that it fits.

restoring our basic constitutional rights

In previous posts, I have advocated the inclusion of transgendered people in the EDNA legislation that is now stalled in the House of Representatives. The T members of GLBT need the same protection that this bill will afford the GLB members and they should not be thrown under the train to assure passage of this legislation.

Bush said he will veto this bill with or without T inclusion. And Congress lacks the votes to overturn his veto, so why are we wasting time debating this issue when there are more important issues to deal with, like restoring basic constitutional rights that Bush and his gang has stolen from us. These are rights that protect all Americans, not just GLBT Americans.

Senator Chris Dodd is fighting that battle for us, a battle that Senators Clinton and Obama are trying to dodge. Read his blog about what he is trying to do and read this blog to find out who your friends are.

I believe that our priorities should be to fight this battle first. Win back our constitutional rights and win the 2008 election. After we turn back the decider/dictator that resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, then we can fight the battle for GLBT rights (when it will be more likely to succeed ).

Halloween plans

Tonight is my support group's Halloween party, but I will skip it because it conflicts with the World Series. (I am a die-hard Red Sox fan and their appearance in a World Series is an event I will not miss.)

Halloween is actually a week away, but I have no plans except to pass treats out to the kids that show up at our door.

Mums the word at work about Halloween, so it looks like there will be no company-sanctioned Halloween celebration. I considered going to work in female costume anyway. But I don't think I have the guts to appear in costume without the company's encouragement, although I am sure a few people will appear in costume anyway.

There is still time for someone to cook something up. In past years, the engineers organized a Halloween party. So you never know, but I am not too optimistic at this late date.

design yourself stationary

Design-her Gals is a cool web site where you design an image of yourself (that's me on the right) and then you can use that image on free e-cards or personalized stationary, stickers, T-shirts, etc.

It is fun, so take a break and have some!

Monday morning quarterback

Last night, I received an e-mail from a dear friend, a genetic girl (GG), who was very upset after reading about the critique that my trans-sister gave me Thursday night, i.e., that I am "big" and that I should dress more conservatively in order to blend.

She wrote, "That's just plain rude and jealousy speaking! I admire the time, technique and pride you put into dressing en femme. You are not Transgender or Transsexual. You are a cross dresser and for someone who can not live en femme for prolonged periods of time - you put more effort than some T's and most definitely than some GG. I'm still fuming over this comment.

"Sure you're tall, so are most models. I took care of a woman a few years back that stood 6'2" at 90 and she took pride in her frame and height.

"Comments like this is what had led to the many misperceptions in body image and low self esteem. Yes, you are tall and you wear clothing that is age and height appropriate - you don't go around wearing clothing that makes you look like a 12 year old hooker in drag."

I felt a whole lot better about myself after reading and sleeping on her e-mail.

downsizing

On top, I am a size 18. On the bottom, I am a size 16 (or so I thought). When I ordered this outfit from Metrostyle, I ordered the jacket in size 18 and the skirt in size 16.

A week later, the outfit arrived. The jacket fit perfectly, but the skirt was too big!

I reordered the skirt in size 14. It arrived yesterday and fit perfectly.

Go figure!

new postcard in my online collection

I just added a "new" postcard to my ephemera page. It is a circa 1950s postcard from Club 82 in New York City.

out last night

Just wanted to quickly post a photo here from last night's outing en femme. I will have more to say about last night later today.

The Rest of the Story...

I attended the monthly Creative Cocktail Hour at Real Art Ways in Hartford last night. I arrived around 6:15, met one of my trans-sisters, and basically hung out with her until she left at 8:45.

It was the usual eclectic crowd of artists, professionals, and students, with about a half dozen trans-people in the mix. I had one drink, an apple cider martini; it was delicious and made me mellow momentarily.

At one point, my trans-sister asked me to honestly critique her ability to pass, which I did. When I was done, I asked her to do the same and she had two criticisms: that I am "big" and that I should dress more conservatively in order to blend.

I am big; no doubt about that. At 6 ft 2 inches and 200-something pounds, I stand out.

I cannot do much about my height, but if I was thinner, I might look less like a quarterback in drag. So, now my goal is to get down to 190-something pounds and if I do, I plan to reward myself by buying a dress to die for from Victoria's Secret.

Regarding my wardrobe, I thought I was appropriately dressed for the cocktail hour (see the accompanying photo and judge for your self). Admittedly, the majority of attendees were not wearing skirts or dresses, but there were other women so attired, so I was not alone.

After my trans-sister made the "big" comment, I became self-conscious about my size and noticed how I dwarfed almost everybody (both men and women) at the cocktail party, so I sat down for a while to hide my size and give my feet a break from the new 3-1/2-inch platform pumps I was wearing.

My trans-sister left, but I hung out on my own to see if I would have any success mixing with non-trans-people.

I saw a woman I knew from past cocktail hours, so I walked over to see what was up with her. She had a new motorcycle and was showing it to another woman, who I did not know. She introduced me to the other woman, who turned out to be running for the city council in a neighboring city.

The neighboring city is known for its Polish population and this woman looked Polish to me. Being Polish myself, I asked her if she was Polish because she looked Polish. She acknowledged her roots and thanked me for saying she looked Polish. We connected and talked about our Polish roots until a guy she had met earlier showed up and latched onto her.

He ignored me until it was obvious I was not going away. Finally, he introduced himself and was pleasant with me, but I did not connect with him at all. He was after her and when I realized our conversation had reached a dead end, I decided to go home and watch the rest of the Red Sox game.

I was tired anyway, so it was no loss. And I felt I had achieved something by socializing with new people who were not from the trans-tribe.

When I arrived home, my wife commented on my blonde wig. She said it was not a good color for me.

I have been thinking it is time for a change. One of the reasons I conducted my hair color poll here last month was to get feedback on what color looked best on me. Brunette came in a close second to blonde. So maybe it is time to go wig shopping.

out tonight

I will be going out en femme this evening to a cocktail hour that lasts for hours and perhaps, dinner depending on the quality and quantity of the finger food at the cocktail hour.

Since I awoke, all I have been thinking about is going out. I can hardly concentrate on my work. Well, a couple of more hours and I am out of here to go home and get ready for my outing.

more tips from Bobbi Brown

I visited Bobbi Brown's web site and found more useful information for makeup mavens (like me).

Click on the Looks & Tips link near the top of the page and it reveals a pull-down menu of helpful items.

Select 10-Step Beauty Guide from the pull-down menu and a new window appears that allows you to click through the steps of doing your makeup the Bobbi Brown way.

They say a picture's worth a thousand words. Well, in my opinion, a video is worth a million words and on the right side of the page is another menu that includes four how-to videos you can view online (how to apply concealer, foundation, lip makeup, and mascara).

All good stuff! Explore the rest of the site and you will find even more.

tips from Bobbi Brown

Bobbi Brown is a famous makeup artist. Today, I discovered that Bobbi is a female!

Before I was aware of Bobbi Brown, the makeup artist, I was aware of Bobby Brown, the singer, who was married to Whitney Houston. For awhile, I thought Bobbi Brown and Bobby Brown were the same person, but eventually I sorted that out, but I still mistakenly thought that they were both male.

My error was due to the fact that I never saw Bobbi Brown's name in print, nor did I ever see a photo or video of Bobbi. I only heard her name mentioned on television or radio, so I was not aware of the feminine spelling of Bobbi.

Today, I read an article about Bobbi Brown and I realized the error of my ways.

The article contains Bobbi's five beauty tips:

1. Plump – use two moisturisers, maybe a hydrating one and a balm.

2. Brighten - concealer under the eyes will brighten and make you look less tired.

3. Smooth – foundation or tinted moisturiser will help to even out the skin tone.

4. Define – liner and mascara will define the eyes. Also use a brow pencil and lip-liner.

5. Pop – this means colour, add a little to your cheeks and to your lips.

For what it's worth, I already follow all five of Bobbi Brown's tips except the first. I do use a moisturizer, but I don't use two moisturizers. When I get ready to go out en femme tomorrow, I will try two and see if it makes a difference.

out of my closet

writing trans-fiction

I write for a living. All of it is non-fiction, eight hours a day, five days a week.

When I was a young girly-boy, I wrote a lot of fiction. My favorite topic was nuclear war apocalypses. My grammar school teachers must have worried about me!

As I progressed through grammar school, high school, college, and beyond, I abandoned fiction for non-fiction because that was what my studies required.

The last piece of fiction I completed was a short story about a young couple and their experiences attending the original Woodstock rock festival. It was based on my experience attending that festival and my story won first prize in a writing competition at my college.

Out of school, my first real job was writing about radio technology. You can't get much more technical than that. I made a name for myself in that field and became a big frog in a small pond. To sustain myself, I just kept on writing non-fiction.

Since I was immersed in technology on a daily basis, I joined the online world early on dialing up bulletin boards, CompuServe, and later, the Internet.

The online world gave me an education about the transgendered world. Going in, I knew I was not the only girly-boy in the world, but I had no idea that I had so many sisters. One thing led to another and by means of the online world, I found a local support group, which nudged me out of my closet and out into the real world en femme.

Exploring the online transgendered world, I also discovered transgendered fiction. Over the years, I have read a lot of it and I still frequent Storysite and Fictionmania.

Some transgendered fiction is good and there are some real gems out there, too, but a lot of it is junk... poorly written, poorly structured, unrealistic, etc. I thought to myself that I could do better than that. And I've tried.

Over the years, I have started a truckload of stories, but have never finished one! (I almost completed one, but I lost it in the great hard disk crash of '29.)

Anyway, my goal is to finish one this month and post for your reading pleasure on National Crossdresser's Day.

Wish me luck.

Two for the Road

Two for the Road, a 1967 film starring Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney was on the telly yesterday. I have not seen it in years and upon seeing it again, I recalled that it used to be one of my favorite films. After watching it again, it is back on my list of favorite films.

Audrey Hepburn was at her peak in this film. She was never more beautiful and in this film, she wears so many different outfits that it makes a fashionista's head spin. (I want to be Audrey Hepburn when I grow up.)

The fashions are just icing on the cake. The film is an intelligent romantic comedy and was nominated for a number of awards including an Oscar nomination for "Best Writing, Story and Screenplay."

It is well worth a look.

605

Yesterday, the hit counter was incremented 605 times... an all-time high for a single day!

Amazing!

october outings

There are two and potentially three outings en femme for me coming up this month.

Thursday, I will be attending the monthly cocktail party at Real Art Ways in Hartford. I will likely dine out before the party in a restaurant yet to be determined.

Wednesday, October 24, is my support group's Halloween party. I have no idea what to wear!

Then, there is Wednesday, October 31, the real Halloween...

There is a rumor going around at work that there might be some "official company" Halloween festivities that day. If so, I will likely appear in costume... en femme, of course. If not, I might appear in en femme anyway because there are some free spirits that always show up in costume, so I might as well join in on the fun!

shoe buying frenzy

Like many women, I love shoes.

Since Payless is having their BOGO sale (Buy One, Get One half off), I decided to stop by the local Payless store during lunch and see what they had in my size (11W in Payless's sizes).

To tell you the truth, I did not have high hopes of finding anything. I've stopped at this particular Payless store a number of times and seldom buy anything there because they never have much in my size.

I entered the store, turned down the aisle where the woman's sizes end and the men's sizes begin and I was shocked. The rack was full of size 11Ws, as well as 11s, which sometimes fit me depending on the style of shoe. I selected six to try on and bought the four illustrated here. I almost bought all six, but decided to control myself.Joy Baby Doll Pump - Sweet, yet undeniably sexy, this patent pump features a baby doll mary jane upper strap and a 3" wrapped heel. Insole is lightly padded for comfort.Tara Boot - The Tara features a nice mix of polished faux leather and buttery soft faux suede. The back of the shaft stretches for fit, while the vamp features a stylish pointed toe. Three pewter buttons adorn the shaft, which zips up for convenience. The heel measures 2½” and the insole is padded for comfort.Johanna Platform Pump - This trendy menswear pump features a 3½” heel and a stylish round toe. Faux suede upper.Kami Dress Pump - This tailored pump with patent piping and bow accent is perfect for work or play. Features cute round toe and 3" wrapped heel.

The descriptions above are from the Payless web site.

The Joy Baby Doll Pump is my favorite and I was lucky to get it because it was discontinued and there was only one pair left!

Why the T in LGBT is here to stay

Transgender people are not beggars at the civil rights table set by gay and lesbian activists. They are integral to the struggle for gender freedom for all.

coming out

Today is National Coming Out Day for the GLBT community.

I have no plans to come out today, but coincidentally, I did write about my hero/heroine, Grayson Perry yesterday. She is my hero/heroine because she is a public personality (like me), who happens to be a crossdresser (like me) and is very out about it (unlike me).

My good friend Anonymous left the following comment to that blog posting: "Two words: Jan Morris."

I assume that Anonymous was inferring that since Jan Morris and I are both writers that Ms. Morris should be my hero rather than Ms. Perry, who is an artist.

I replied that there is a difference.

Yes, like me, Jan Morris is a writer, but unlike me, Jan Morris is a post-op transsexual, i.e., he/she had sex reassignment surgery and now lives 24/7 as a woman. I, on the other hand, am a crossdresser and have no interest in having sex reassignment surgery.

I have considered coming out as a crossdresser in my writing world... sort of run it up the flagpole and see who salutes and who burns down the flagpole. It certainly would spice up my life. Maybe I'll do it soon, maybe never, but it is something to think about.

By the way, I highly recommend this interview with Grayson Perry. In the interview, she expresses a lot of my thoughts exactly.

a happy couple

the hits just keep on coming

The hit count for this blog has been averaging over 300 hits per day for about a month. During the past week, the average crept up to over 400 hits per day. Yesterday, the hit count broke 500 for the first time!

I'm amazed!

my hero/heroine

Grayson Perry is an award-winning English artist, best known for ceramic vases. In 2003, Grayson won the Turner Prize, which is an annual British prize presented to deserving visual artists.

Grayson is out and usually appears in public en femme. (That is Grayson in the photo on the right at the opening of an art exhibition in London back in February.) I give him/her a lot of credit for that.

I am a writer and a crossdresser, but my writing life and crossdressing life do not cross paths (except for here). It has often crossed my mind to come out as a crossdresser in my writing world.

Initially, it would probably shock a lot of people and I may lose some friends and acquaintances, who are transphobic. But, it might open up a whole new world of opportunities for me as a writer. It certainly would be liberating and would spice up my life a bit, too!

dreaming again

I watched a movie called Wild Hogs last night. It was a comedy with very few laughs and overall, it was a disappointment.

The plot involves four middle-aged suburbanites, who decide to take a break from their usual routine and drive cross country on motorcycles.

During their roadtrip, they stop at a bar that houses a real motorcycle gang, who do not take kindly to the suburbanites posing as bikers. One thing leads to another and the "real bikers" spend the rest of the movie chasing the "posers" in order to do bodily harm to them.

I went to bed after the movie ended.

During the night, I dreamed I was modeling en femme in the fashion show with the same group of guys and gals I modeled with last month. But instead of modeling in a diverse local Connecticut bar, we modeled in the biker bar from the movie!

As luck would have it, we were very good and passed with flying colors. The motorcycle gang ogled us and made their intentions clear that they wanted to do us like a man does a woman.

We hightailed it out of there just as the gang discovered that we were really crossdressers and as a result, wanted to do bodily harm to us (or worse).

Then, I woke up.

long weekend

It was a long and busy weekend and I did not have time to publish a new post here. Dinner with friends on Saturday, family reunion on Sunday, a day at the casino on Monday, and I am almost glad to be back at work today to rest!

No femulating this weekend, but I thought about femulating. And I have decided that the casino would be a great place to femulate in the future. Do a little gambling, shop at the stores in the casino's mall, and dine at one of the array of restaurants at the casino... I think it would be nice day out en femme.

male female models

Urban legend says that some of the fashion models wearing female finery on the catwalks of the fashion world are actually males.

It makes sense. Fashion models are supposed to be tall, leggy, thin, and have no figure to speak of just like many males (and few females), so why not use males?

Trying to determine which female fashion models, if any, are actually male has been a futile endeavor. The fashion houses don't want their customers to know that males are modeling their gowns and dresses and the models don't want the public to know the truth either.

In my quest to find the truth, I recently came across the following give and take on Yahoo! Answers.

Richard Lynch asked, "Im (sic) a crossdresser and want to become a model. Are there any places which would consider taking a crossdressing guy, like myself, and helping them with a modelling career?"

ScubaDude answered, "Actually, yes there is. The problem is you need to live in Italy though. I understand that over 50% of those extreme high fashion Italian models are actually men. There are even some designers who will ONLY hire transgendered men to show their clothing because of their height, angular facial bones, higher foreheads and longer arms and legs."

I don't know how true this is, but it is one of the few leads I have been able to find.

The photos above and below are a random selection of models appearing in recent fashion shows in Milan, Italy. If the story is true, chances are that two of these models are male!

some good news on TV for a change

TV Landscape Changing for Transgender Characters

The portrayal of transgender characters on television these days seems to be sort of a glass-is-either-half-empty-or-half-full situation.

new outfit

I did some online shopping en femme today. I bought the jacket, skirt, and cami that you see in the accompanying photo.

I hope it looks half as good on me as it does on the model!

my dwelling

I have been a crossdresser for about 45 years and I often wonder how much time I have spent dwelling on crossdressing, i.e., not actually crossdressing, but rather thinking, reading, dreaming, etc. about crossdressing. I am sure it is many hours.

If I dwelled on crossdressing for only one hour per day, that comes out to be 16,436 hours over 45 years. Those 16,436 hours equal 685 days, which is just two months shy of two years dwelling on crossdressing!

That number is likely on the low side because some days I dwell on crossdressing for much longer than one hour. (I recall days when I dwelled on crossdressing all day long.) On the other hand, there are very few days when I don't dwell on crossdressing at all. So the total time I have dwelled on crossdressing is easily way over two years.

What a waste! Just think about what I could have accomplished if I didn't have crossdressing on my mind interfering with my work, my play, my life.

I wonder what if I crossdressed everyday, 24/7 or something close to 24/7. Would I stop dwelling on crossdressing and accomplish something with that newly freed time?

I know when I spend a day en femme and get over the initial thrill of being crossdressed that I stop thinking about crossdressing and get on with my day even though it is a day en femme. If I lived full-time en femme, would I accomplish more in my life?

I would sure like to find out, but I think it will be something I'll never know.

20,000 readers served

Midday yesterday, the hit counter on this 8-month-old blog passed the 20,000 mark. Thank you for reading and returning to read some more!

Coincidentally, the odometer on my 6-month-old car passed the 10,000 mark.

May my hit counter speed up and my odometer slow down!

do-over

Trans Victory in Delay of U.S. Employee Non-Discrimination Bill

In an apparent victory for LGBT activists and their supporters, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi [D-Calif.] postponed final debate on an amended Employment Non-Discrimination Act. The bill has come in for criticism from gay organizations because it does not include transgender-specific protections.

Bill Clinton, First Lady

The cover story of this week's issue of New York Magazine is titled "Bill Clinton, First Lady." I have not read the story yet, but I love the cover, which features the former President and possible future First Lady in Jackie Kennedy drag.

letter to Congressman Barney Frank

Read this excellent letter to Congressman Barney Frank regarding his bailing on the transgender community.