Marilyn

I received some positive comments regarding my “Stana as Marilyn” photo posted here last Friday. And the commenters wanted to know more about the circumstances of the photo.

Well, at the time that the photo was taken, that’s how I went out dressed among the civilians. Needless to say, I received a lot of attention whenever I went out!

Only kidding! 

Actually, I dressed as Marilyn Monroe for my support group’s Halloween party in October 2001. The photo was taken in the hall where my support group normally met. The dress, shoes and gloves were eBay finds, while the belt and wig were Kmart purchases. (I used to buy a lot of dresses on eBay, but finally swore off eBay because I found that half the time, the published sizes were inaccurate and stuff that should have fit according to the published sizes, did not fit.)

To tell you the truth, that Halloween party was so long ago that I don’t recall anything about it except what I wore. 

One commenter wanted more information about my Marilyn’s bust, but I am unsure about how I achieved it. Most likely, I used surgical tape to squeeze my natural B-cup breasts together to create cleavage and used my homemade birdseed falsies to fill out the parts of my bra cups that were emptied due to my squeezed breasts.

And that’s the whole story (as much of it as I can remember).

Wearing Ann Taylor

Alex Nole at the 2025 Met Gala

The 2025 Met Gala was Monday night and photos of the event appeared all over the internet Tuesday morning. For example, Glamour had 102 photos of the girls and boys strutting their stuff.

What a clown show! I would not be caught dead wearing most of the stuff that was on display. I won’t mention specific people who dressed like clowns (the list would be too long). However, I will mention Alex Newell, who did us femulators proud. Alex is always a class act and did not let us down Monday night.

Why I Keep Buying Shoes I Rarely Wear

By Monika Kowalska

I have a deep and enduring love for shoes. Over the years, I’ve collected pairs for every mood, every season and every possible occasion, many of which, to be honest, rarely occur. Some shoes I’ve worn once. Others, not at all. And yet, I keep them, not out of neglect or indecision, but because they represent something more than utility.

This passion isn’t unique to me. Many women find themselves drawn to shoes in a way that goes beyond practicality. The collection may seem excessive from the outside, but there are valid and meaningful reasons behind it. Much like some men collect tools, buying equipment that may never be used, but still has value in its potential, shoes offer a similar sense of readiness, satisfaction and aesthetic enjoyment. 

And yes, we get questioned for it. But interestingly, no one seems to ask why some men collect toolboxes full of gadgets they’ll never use. It’s understood that those tools have practical value, even if they sit idle. In the same way, our shoes matter too.

Some are about fashion. Styles evolve constantly and shoes are often one of the easiest ways to adapt to a trend without overhauling your entire wardrobe. A bold heel or a fresh pair of boots can instantly update a simple outfit, turning something ordinary into something memorable. 

For many of us, shoes are a form of creative expression, a way to play with color, shape and attitude. A pair might be worn once and never again, but that doesn’t make it a mistake. It served a purpose in that particular moment. Maybe it helped us feel bold at a party where we were nervous to go alone or pulled an outfit together just right for a first date or an important interview. It gave us a boost of confidence, a little lift, sometimes literally, sometimes emotionally. And that alone is enough. Because fashion isn’t always about practicality. Sometimes it’s about feeling powerful, beautiful or simply in tune with who we are that day.

Sometimes we buy shoes for specific occasions, a wedding, a formal work event, a holiday trip or even a themed party that calls for something a little out of the ordinary. These aren’t everyday pairs. They’re the ones that live quietly in their boxes or on a high shelf, waiting for the moment they’re needed. Maybe it’s a pair of elegant heels you chose to match a dress you’ll only wear once or glittery sandals perfect for a summer evening abroad. They may not be practical in the day-to-day sense, but they serve a very real purpose: they help us rise to the occasion. They remind us that life isn’t just about routines, it’s about moments. And when those moments come, we want to show up feeling prepared, polished and a little bit magical. Those shoes might not get much wear, but they’re part of memories we carry for years.

Sales play their part, too. There’s something undeniably tempting about seeing a beautiful pair of shoes, ones that might have felt out of reach, suddenly within arm’s length thanks to a generous markdown. It's more than just a deal; it's a little thrill, a small victory. Even if we don’t need them right now, we imagine a time when we might. Maybe it’s that future dinner date we haven’t been invited to yet or a season that hasn’t come around again. We picture ourselves stepping into a moment that hasn’t happened, already dressed for it in our minds. That quiet little spark of future possibility is reason enough. Buying those shoes isn’t just about saving money, it’s about hope, preparation and allowing ourselves something lovely, just because. And sometimes, treating ourselves without justification is the most radical kind of self-care.

For some, shopping, especially for shoes, can even be deeply therapeutic. It’s not just about the item itself, but about the experience: the deliberate choice, the indulgence in beauty, the affirmation of personal taste. In a world that often asks women to shrink, to compromise or to put everyone else’s needs before their own, buying something just because it brings you joy can feel like a quiet, powerful act of rebellion. It’s a way of saying, I matter too. 

And for transgender women, that meaning can run even deeper. Shoes can be more than accessories, they can be milestones. The first pair of heels, the first pair of flats that felt right, the boots that made you stand taller, literally and figuratively. Every new pair can be a celebration of identity, a small but significant marker of a journey that hasn’t always been easy. In those moments, shoes aren’t just purchases. They’re affirmations. They’re evidence that we are becoming who we were always meant to be.

So yes, I own shoes I may never wear. But each one earned its place. Each one tells a story. And if others can collect screwdrivers or socket sets for a hypothetical future, surely I can keep a few pairs of strappy sandals for the same reason.

After all, I don’t ask anyone to explain their toolbox. Don’t ask me to explain my heels.

Monika has been interviewing trans people in her blog, The Heroines of My Life, since 2013. Click here to see who she has interviewed lately.

Wearing Nine West

Jiang Du femulating in the 2016 Chinese film Mr High Heels.

Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend! Part 2

By Norah Blucher

So when we last parted, I had just completely lost my mind and decided that I would ski en femme, had never tried it and did not even know anyone who had. I had nevertheless made up my mind to do it.

Look Out Michaela Schiffrin!

Okay, so I’m most definitely NOT Michaela Schiffrin. I will never be as gorgeous as her, nor will I ever achieve her level of skill in a million years. Nevertheless, I am still a rather competent skier. I’m a bit slow and not out to race anyone, but can hold my own on steep slopes, bump fields or through glades of trees.

Now my ski mate has met Norah, but I had never let on that she was about to become a ski bunny. My original plan was to show up one day and find him on the slopes, but he was unable to make it that day and I was all alone, but that worked out for the best. It actually took a few runs to get the hang of everything.

Before long however I was zipping around and having a grand time. I checked a few times and my makeup was holding up well and no one acted like anything was amiss with me at all. Just another girl out on the slopes. 

I had been texting with my ski mate that day and he noted that it sounded like I was having a fun day. Not being able to contain it any longer, I noted that Norah always has a great time. He seemed a bit confused and asked “Norah skis?????”

This is what I sent to my ski mate, LOL

And that was just my first day. With the season at a close, I racked up 17 days of skiing in various places, 11 of those as Norah! It has absolutely been one of the most bloody amazing experiences and in many ways, has added a side to Norah that I never could have imagined and it has also been a learning experience for sure.

Winter Can Be Rough

I was absolutely amazed how well my makeup has held up on multiple trips, but I’ve also discovered that though the bottle may say “Infallible” or “Long Wear,” it clearly has limits. I’ve noted limited transfer to goggles or masks, but one particularly bad day had me skiing down slopes into gale force winds with a lot of snow blowing up. Needless to say, it quite literally sand-blasted the makeup off of my exposed nose and one cheek.

If it happens to me, it is happening to other girls, too, and all that is needed is a little extra to touch up at the end of the day. It happens to us all and no ski girl is going to look at you funny if your makeup is a bit off.

Warmer Than Usual

We all seem to notice being warmer en femme and skiing is no different. For me, it is partly to do with the fact that Norah now has much better and newer kit than the male she sometimes impersonates, but the padding helps, too. A silicone bum pad means you do not get a cold bum on the chair lift!

En femme I actually wear less layers, even when it is right frigid out and completely enjoy this.

Passing is Easy!

Did I just say that? Passing? Easy? Yes I certainly did! Despite what you see in movies, few women are rocking skin tight ski wear. A woolly layer or two, ski pants, a jacket, helmet, goggles, not a lot is exposed. Even with goggles off, just your face shows. Combine that with my plait or pony tail hanging down my back or over my shoulder and no one really notices anything. Well, except maybe for the times I’ve encountered “admirers.”

Yes, I guess that lone middleaged females are not predominate on ski hills. That and the fact that I go into glades and un-groomed areas. This apparently adds a hotness factor in some blokes’ eyes and has made for some interesting and funny experiences.

On one day a group of three (two blokes and a girl) came from behind me and my male ski mate as we made our way down a bumpy glade. The girl and one bloke passed us, but the other came right up next to me and stopped. I waved him ahead and he waved me on instead. I went ahead a ways and stopped and he was right there next to me again!

Now my male ski mate was just a bit ahead of me, saw what was happening and the dirty bugger took off and left me! I guess I don’t blame him. We’re not a couple for sure and he wanted no part of this.

After the third time this bloke stopped next to me, I figured he was not getting the hint. I made my way to the side of the trail and told him to go on and he just waved me on. He clearly wanted my attention and I did think it was a bit sweet in a way, but I’m not into men and this was getting rather annoying. I gave him a stern look, pointed at him, then pointed down the trail and he finally got the hint and took off.

At the bottom of the trail, his two mates were waiting with mine and when he got to them, they asked what took so long and he made a lame excuse about a lady up the trail having trouble and he wanted to make sure she was okay. My male mate finally spoke up and said that she was fine and they took off.

Another time I was on my own going down a rather burned-out trail. Cover was getting thin and I had to make my way around a right many bare patches and stumps, but I love these challenging trails.

Near the end, a bloke passed me without much fanfare and a few minutes later, at the bottom, near the connector trail, I noted him waiting, watching me and also looking up the hill. As I passed by he gave me a big smile, waved and said “nice job!”

I turned around as I passed him and noted he was apparently waiting for a little toddler size human 300 meters or so up the trail, making their way down. Now I do not pretend to know his intentions, nor do I want to assume, but I just shook my head and carried on as it seemed to me like he had left this child behind to get a better look at me!

I did sort of look cute that day. Maybe I would have followed me too, LOL.

There was even one day, late in the afternoon that things were rather quiet. On a busy day, they will pair you up with groups of strangers so as not to send an empty chair up, but on a slow day, you can ride alone for all they care, which is often the case for me. It, therefore, was a bit of a surprise to me when only me and another cheeky bloke were approaching the chair lift and he asked if he could ride up with me! I said yes and he was very polite and chatty on the ride up.

All said though, no one gave me any trouble and these type of events are affirming in a way. I have noted a more friendly attitude of other women towards me as well. I’ve noted other females being a bit more chatty on a lift or much less hesitant to ask directions if they are not familiar with an area. Even with my helmet and jacket off,in the various pubs and restaurants that dot ski hills, I’ve had females sitting next to me ask about my food, compliment my nails and what not. 

The Odd Couple

As femulators, we often seem to sometimes have female friends, but I do not note many stories from others about being with male mates while en femme and I must say it is an interesting experience for sure.

Once when we had not been on a hill for long, we came upon a group of male snowboarders. We stopped next to them and my mate asked what trails were good. Skiers are a right friendly bunch and we chatted a bit. Then they asked where we were from. As two males, we are often asked in such situations where each of us is from, but in this case, they just asked my male mate where “we” were from, assuming us to be a couple. I also noted that as a lone female, males would talk to me more. When accompanied by my male ski mate, blokes might say hi to me, but will predominantly talk to my male mate.

I am indeed very fortunate to have such a mate as we had a good laugh about this later. We are not sure if they read me and probably did not we assume, but either way, he cares little what others think. We have been mates a long time. I’m very happy out as Norah, and that is all that matters to him. I am lucky to have such a mate indeed... even if he did ditch me with that other bloke, LOL.

In many ways though, I’ve gotten really great feedback in these situations I could not normally get. So often we are guessing if we pass, but skiing with my mate, I have actually confirmed I have passed to many.

My mate is rather well known on a few hills. As male, I’m less well recognized alone, but if we were together as males, I would instantly be familiar.

Now, after seeing my mate for years with only other males and some knowing he has a longtime lady in his life, his sudden appearance with a strange blonde has attracted some attention in his life. I’ve been asked about, but no one recognized me as my male self. In most cases, if they were told the truth (we’ve let a few know), they were genuinely surprised to learn I was male, even after having conversations with them!

I think the best comment ever was when my ski mate was chatting with one such person a few days after meeting Norah. The other bloke was told the truth and he was floored and commented something to the effect of “I was killing it as a trans girl.” I’ve received many compliments before, but this is one of my favorites.

Après Life

After a day of skiing, many enjoy a bit of time socializing and it too has been a wonderful experience en femme. This was not something male me did much of, but even after a long cold day, I feel much more energy en femme and am a much more social creature as Norah.

I’d long envied how many women will remove their damp ski pants after a day on the slopes and put on a type of quilted skirt over their leggings. I purchased one and find it to be heaven on earth to roam the lodge with my furry boots. You didn’t think skirts were going to be involved in skiing did you? I’ve actually worn this out and about town and into stores on my long drives home as well. They are such a cute way to wear leggings, provide a bit of extra warmth and also give a bit of extra coverage we need that prevents many of us from wearing leggings.

Anyway, some hills still operate the lodge as a restaurant and bar after the lifts close and some even provide entertainment or have outdoor bonfires and dance parties and I’ve enjoyed it all with much delight. I’m not sure if it is a good sign or means I stand out, but one place even knows Norah by name after a few visits and fondly greets her upon entry!

At one time, I noted an auction was occurring at the end of the day and promptly registered. Most items were bidding too rich for my blood, but I did not go home empty-handed and went away with a pair of handmade earrings I was highest bidder on. 

A Deal Too Good to Resist

I had been feeling for a while that the first pair of skis I had bought a few years ago did not truly fit my style if skiing and was contemplating a new pair. As the end of the season approached, I noted some smashing sales of 50% off and could not resist. I went into the ski store at the lodge and a friendly girl greeted me and asked what I was looking for. After a few questions, she took me over to a rack of women’s skis to show me her recommendations. 

She noted that her girls who like racing preferred one particular pair, but the more recreational girls liked a different pair and found them to be light and lively and could handle almost anything. I took this all in and needed some time to consider, but returned the next week and followed up on her recommendation. After another girl at the sales counter helped me pick out matching bindings. I headed out an hour later with my new skis.

And yes, clothing was going on sale, too, so I bought a more colorful and un-insulated jacket for spring, LOL.

I ran into the ski store lady a few times that weekend and again on another trip and she always excitedly asked how everything was working out. After the third or fourth time, she asked, I gave her a big hug and told her they were the most fabulous skis I had ever used yet and meant it. I think this made her day.

So Many Lessons Learned

I had not known what to expect when I started all this. I really just thought I’d ski as a girl and not much else beyond that I guess, but I got so much more than I expected.

I’ve been out a lot and sometimes to the same place a time or two, but never to this level. As I repeatedly returned to familiar places, I discovered that Norah was becoming an accepted and welcome visitor. The ski hill staff, hotels and inns, even some off hill restaurants remembered me and welcomed me back. There was definitely a warmer friendliness among other females, but with blokes as well. At one place, with my male ski mate, he noted to me that one particular barkeep used a different tone when speaking to females and did so to me as well. He might not have even realized he did this and it was not creepy or anything, just a subtle softening of his voice and being a little less blunt with his words around women.

And not just staff at places you pay to stay or eat either. At other times, if there was an event going on or something, I noted that if I stopped to watch, other females would approach me to chat. I cannot be certain if I was ever read or not, but I never noted anyone changing their stance toward me either. Once I was brought into the group, whether I was read or not, no one ever made an effort to shoo me away either. I was just accepted as one of the girls.

And I do not suspect this was just out of politeness either. As I became known as a regular, women seemed to take notice of me and become more chatty after repeated visits. I even ran into one such woman at a ski lodge store and after recognizing each other and catching up a few minutes, we helped each other pick out socks, LOL.

This was all a level of immersion into the world of women I had not expected and certainly not on ski slopes of all places, but it was eye opening and felt rather wonderful. We often go out and interact with the world, but it is much less common for many of us that we get to truly see our femme personality blossom and discover the woman we have always wanted to be and have it so readily accepted by others. It becomes less about going out and more about living life. It has made me ponder a lot too.

As people, we often bond with others over common interests. I’ve had good experiences at stores, eating out, etc, but we all do that as people. They are life necessities in many regards. Doing something you like around others who like it too creates much more opportunity for connections over these shared interests. I’m not sure what will come next for me, but it has made me think right hard about other paths I can head down in my femme life that I might have never felt possible before.

Hanging Up My Skis for Now

So loves, quite a lot here, but I wanted to finish out the ski season to see how it all worked out before sharing with you all. I hope I did not disappoint and am now anxiously awaiting what next season will bring!

As always, questions and comments are welcome below or you can email me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me. I’d love to hear about some not so common things you may have done en femme and I think everyone else would, too!

Wearing Elágia

John Hurt femulating in the 1975 British film The Naked Civil Servant.